new member

[tallguy297]

Hey Boeing!

Welcome to JUB mate...I hope you enjoy your time here mate...its a great place!

Boeing, we're all different and we all like and want different things in life. Our sex lives are no different to that...we each have our own tastes likes and dislikes. They are what make you you and in no way are wrong just because you think you dont fit in. Trust me mate...you do. We all do. Your just one of us mate...a normal everyday guy...

What you are having trouble with is accepting that you are gay...not the fact that you are. Sorry if that sounds confusing but what I mean is this.... deep down inside only you know your true feelings about guys and girls. A lifetime of fantasizing and admiring guys with no similar feelings for women makes it pretty clear that you're gay. And you've always guessed that.

Whats causing your concerns now is the fact that you've decided to expose yourself to what that means for you...coming out, acting out, experiencing new things. And because your doing this now you;re discovering that you dont neccesarily like all aspects of what it means to be gay. But mate...thats fine..its normal!

Its a bad analogy I know but its no different to going to a restaurant and looking at the menu. There is no way you'll like everything on it and life is just the same. You dont have to like everything about being gay...

Being older when you start to accept yourself sometimes makes things a little harder because you feel you should know yourself and have things all figured out. And in a lot of ways you do...you know your values..and your morals. You know your capacity to love and to feel emotion and compassion. None of those things have changed and now they are guiding you through this new part of your life.

Its perfectly ok for you not to be aroused by your friends...hell I think I would feel uncomfortable in that situation! Give yourself some time Boeing to experience and try new things. Dont rush it dont force it...just let it happen and flow. Being exposed to things outside of your comfort zone will always raise fears and doubts...but thats normal too.

Take your time mate. You have started a journey into a new part of your life. You will have fears and doubts. But you will also have moments of sheer joy and pleasure.

Are you gay....only you know that for sure deep down. But if you are, then let yourself make the best of it mate. Its not wrong and its not something to be ashamed of. You're the same special amazing guy you always have been...now with a new chapter to write. With time your doubts and fears will give way to happiness and security...just take one day at a time!

And again mate...welcome to JUB...we're here for you in this journey!

 

[luminum]

The msot important thing is that you're discovering yourself. You don't have to be anything. If you're unsure, then you're unsure. In time, you'll come to find what you are--gay, straight, bi, etc.

There's no need to know about this right now. Just relax and let what you are mix around until it stops and you'll know. So don't worry. Remember that you're only now beginning to deal with this confusion and it won't go away overnight.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

So I have started to doubt my decision about being gay.

What do you guys think? Any answers would be great.

Sorry I know many people have posted this before.

Thanks.

Boeing, Welcome to JUB

You cannot really decide to be gay. Like you cannot quite decide, who your parents are and what nationality you were born with. Plenty of things in this world that are not completely for us to decide about. Just those given facts of life.

Being 29, I'd think that you are now independent of your (conservative) family. Do not attach too much importance to what they may say and how they may react. Always keep in mind that your job #1 in life is pursuit of your own happiness. Making them happy is rather secondary.

All the good things need their time, so you want to take it easy and go on your own pace. Do not push it too hard in any direction.

Being gay, just like being anyone else is a matter of immense complexity and in many years of my experience in the gay world, I have never met two gay men, who were exactly the same or who were really perfect for each other. Life is very much about making bearable and even comfortably acceptable solutions that would ensure your happiness in relationships with your partner, your family and all the people around you.

Enjoy the ride.

SC

 

[Lefty]

the guys above said it all man, go back and reread them. oh btw


:thewave:

 

[CoolBlue71]

Welcome, boeing.

 

[moonybig]

hi welcome to jub

 

[M4P]

Hey Guys

Just a reminder you cannot post your email or MSN etc in the forums

Thanks

Brian_1

 

[spreadeagle]

You're gay, but inexperienced. But don't worry, you're in good company. George Bernard Shaw was a virgin till he was 29.

Most gay men DO NOT have anal sex. Oral sex is, in fact, the preferred and most frequent sexual practice for gay men. Anal is neither compulsory nor an obligatory part of being gay and don't ever let anyone tell you any different.

Do you, or your gay friends, belong to a gym? Hanging out with some gay muscular guys might give some clarity about the next step.