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No passion or spark / chemistry after ex relationships

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ubisoft

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I will keep this concise and as short as possible.

I had hook ups for years and chemistry was amazing with almost all of my sex partners. However. Got into a relationship and I am monogamous when not single. However, I got cheated on and broke up as my ex was horrible to me and I couldn't get over it....

Shortly after I found someone who I had great sex with but my heart was still hurt but a while later this guy also rejected me and didn't want more than hot sex.

It has been three years and I haven't been with anyone. I tried and there is that cold wall that I can't explain. I wish I knew how to explain it. There is no heat, passion or spark even though those sex partners are great looking, nice and just my type. But my body and mind are refusing to relax and reignite that passion and heat and sweaty sex I used to have before. I do not know what to do.

Recently, I met some old flame who I had some of the best sex of my life with and hoped it would bring out the old times in me. We tried. He loved it but I didn't feel anything, I couldn't open up and have that heat and passion. My brain finds the person unbelievably hot and sexy. But the heart or something is blocking my feelings completely and I can't enjoy the sex.

If someone experienced this or knows how I can solve it. Please do let me know. It has been a long three years and it is so tiring.

Note: I am an incredibly sexual male who's 35 right now, very active on my own daily. But I can't bring myself to have sex with others.

Any help appreciated and thanks for reading.
 
Out of curiosity, are you on any medications like anti-depressants, that may affect your sex drive?
 
No medications before. I started a month ago. I'm horny as ever but no feelings still and feel like I'm incapable of love. It is so strange
 
ubisoft said:
No medications before. I started a month ago. I'm horny as ever but no feelings still and feel like I'm incapable of love. It is so strange
Click to expand...
There are medications like SSRI antidepressants which can cause symptoms like you've described. It's important to eliminate that as a cause since it's easily fixed.

Based upon what you described- feeling disconnected emotionally or a feeling of anhedonia- is most commonly caused by depression. Given the story that you related, it is possible that you're in a mild depressive state that creates a feeling of disconnection between your body, your brain and your emotions.

In cases like this, start with a visit to your primary care provier for a physical. Some lab work can be ordered eliminate the possibility of something physical going on - like low testosterone or thyroid dysfunction. Once those are eliminated, then they can do an evaluation for depression and make a decision whether to try a medication or refer you to a therapist to work through some of the relationship issues you've experienced in the past.
 
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