Not gay but in love with him!

[HartfordGuy]

Well.... this does sound alot more than just a same sex, non-sexual crush.

Which can happen between straight guys, especially if they work closely together or are in the military, etc .

But you are not in that situation. If you find him physically attractive to the point of infatuation then that means there is something else going on.

Just look at some of the pics on the homepage here. If those sex scenes make you think of that guy then you are perhaps seeing the true sexual side of you appearing.

 

[Andreus]

ive been through the same

its why i consider myself gay

good luck, champ!

 

[rareboy]

the way he talks, the way he smiles, the way he looks.... is driving me insane.
is this love? i think it is.

Nope. It's hormones.

\it was an obvious joke but it made me really mad. i mean i have never liked a guy before, infact i have crush on a girl from my school and my friend knows about it. her casual joke about me being interested in that guy closed all the doors to get any information about him from her.
i was lucky enough to copy his pictures from her flash drive before she made that joke. and i guess my friend likes him too. she has tons of his pictures on her pen drive and whenever she is with him she is giggling and blushing and sometimes even flirting. oh and to make things much more complicated, i hear this girl benny likes him alot and he likes another girl. we are passed that high school age but this feels like a high school drama.

Yup. You've nailed it. It is soooooooooooo highschool. I think it's a little creepy that you talk about having his pics. Makes me think the whole thing is just made up.

Time to stop being silly schoolgirls and concentrate on your studies.

 

[kyless85]

what's up with rareboy, a guy comes here trusting us with his secret, and asking for advice, and you start accusing him of making everything up, i just hate people like you, give a good advice or shut the fuck up!

 

[rareboy]

Sorry kyless, I think I've given very good guidance. It isn't love. Love is something far different than infatuation.

I think it is creepy when someone starts downloading pics from another friend's pen drive....apparently without her permission....I suppose I should say, it makes me want to think the whole thing is made up.

So here's the rest of the advice.

wht should i do?should i talk to him? even if i do, whats going to happen? he will never feel the same way about me. my feelings for him are too hard to describe in words. i dont want to sex with him but i do want to kiss him may be. and sleep with him, hug him.

Yeah. talk to him. I wouldn't tell him that you have tons of his pics without his permission. Who knows what will happen? He may be nice; he may brush you off.
He may or may not ever feel the same way as you, but given that you have a purely physical attraction to him but don't want to fuck him; only cuddle and sleep with him, I would hope his feelings would be a little more emotionally developed than those you have for him.

If you want to know how to deal with your feelings you can't describe, read Shakespeare's sonnets or poems of courtly love. You'll see that there's nothing that can't be put into words.

But I would still suggest focussing on your studies instead of your fantasies.

There. I think that covers it.....

 

[Just_Believe18]

I think you have a lot of feelings about yourself to work out. Stick around a little longer and maybe you might change your mind over a few things.

 

[thermodynamics]

Your story is familiar to a few of us. That's how it starts. I think you've got some soul-searching to do. You might not be gay, but perhaps bi??

 

[Brer Fox]

Sexuality is very fluid and unpredictable. If you are in your teens you are probably experiencing the same thing I did during my sexual development. I used to be primarily heterosexual, or at least I was told I was, and I had 'crushes on girls' and all, (which ended up to be only good friendships) but I only had the cushy warm cuddly infatuations you are experiencing with some of my male friends. However, I never once thought of having sex with any of them, nor did I think of having sex with anyone, and when I did start developing those feelings I felt like I wanted to 'be the girl' and get chased by guys rather than the reverse. I did not know what 'gay' was, let alone that I was beginning to favor it.

I thought sex with guys was really gross, though, and that guys kissing was about the sickest sight I could behold, but I quickly found this was just the apprehension programmed into me by society. When I actually saw more men in sexual situations without the stigma, I changed almost overnight. I began to love men more emotionally, as well as physically, and my interest in women began to fade. I knew I was gay.

If you have been drawn to this forum there is no doubt you are what is usually referred to as 'questioning.' If you love this guy, you love this guy, and nothing will change that and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Now is not the time to go searching for labels, if there even is a good time for that sort of thing, but it is time to realize those feelings are normal and that you should feel comfortable with your potentially being a homosexual rather than saying 'but I'm not gay.'

Maybe it will subside, but my personal experience says it probably won't. If you are so attracted to his body, the male body, to where you will go out of your way to see him naked, you are expressing homosexuality. You receive pleasure from seeing a naked man, simple as that.

You have no obligation to tell anyone anything, nor do you have to let anyone make you feel uncomfortable, but like someone said earlier you've got soul searching to do. Fortunately nowadays there are tons of people you can talk to who can help you along the way.

 

[confusedboy23]

We all have been through that stage sometime in our lives. It will take a lot of soul searching to really know who you are. Sometimes, the most unexpected happens at the weirdest of all times but all I can say is that you need to take each day in stride. Allow yourself to know yourself, and be open to others that may come into your lives. Deal with each situation as they warrant themselves, and don't worry too much. You will never who you are until you allow yourself to do just that. It may take months, or years and in the end, you might just realize you are indeed gay, or maybe not, maybe bi. Whatever that label may be, you will start to know yourself, and BE yourself!

 

[Eagle653]

Hi, and welcome to JUB and making your first post. It's good to have you here.

I know you don't think of yourself as gay, and you may not be. But, I suspect you're not totally straight either. What you are is for you to decide after some reflection and soul-searching.

Many of us took our heterosexuality for granted, until we were confronted with a crush that wasn't consistent with straightness. Others of us knew and had it figured out at earlier ages--even pre-teen. It doesn't matter. The point is, there comes that "day of reckoning" when feelings surface for the first time. Perhaps this is the first guy ever to catch your attention like that. You're telling yourself something about you--listen to what that means.

As for this guy, you can try to make his acquaintance and see if you have anything in common and take it from there. If you do, great. If not, then forget him. But, do figure out your reaction to him. It will happen again.

Let us know how you're doing!