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Not Meeting BF's Family?

erobert

erobert

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My BF and I have been together for a year now and his parent's, aunt and uncle and grandma are in town for a week for his graduation. Though, a couple months ago when he let me know this he said I could come to his graduation and meet his parent's.

When we saw it was scheduled during work that was alright I'd meet them when we had time after my work during the week. Though, there's been no mention of this from him and now I feel uncomfortable asking since I don't want to force him to introduce me. Plus it could be a minefield... (He's out to his parent's and they know we're dating but he might not be out to his extended family...)

What do you think? I'm a bit concerned about how to ask :?
 
Just ask in a nice, pleasant way. It's really too bad he wasn't more forthcoming during the year you've been together in terms of to whom he's out. Don't force any meetings but get some answers.
 
I say just ask in a nonchalant manner. Don't be too pushy on the subject so that he doesn't feel forced. Just let him know that if he thinks that you and his extended family meeting is a bad idea that it is ok with you that you just wanted to know. Don't worry for all you know maybe he just thinks that this has already been decided and he just isn't giving the decision a second thought.
 
I'm a little puzzled about your timidity in discussing things with your bf of one year. You have mentioned this before. Why are you not completely comfortable with him by now?
 
I don't see why everything has to be some huge drama.

If he's not out to his entire family, just go, and be introduced as a "friend"/roommate.
You don't have to shove your relationship down the throats of everyone you meet. The intimate details of your "friendship" can be discreet and downplayed for a couple hours during his graduation.

"This person's friendship is important to me" doesn't have to equal, "Look what I'm fucking!"
 
borg69unimatrix said:
I don't see why everything has to be some huge drama.

If he's not out to his entire family, just go, and be introduced as a "friend"/roommate.
You don't have to shove your relationship down the throats of everyone you meet. The intimate details of your "friendship" can be discreet and downplayed for a couple hours during his graduation.

"This person's friendship is important to me" doesn't have to equal, "Look what I'm fucking!"
Click to expand...

^ This.
 
Definitely not this. I mean, to each his own, but I would be extremely hurt if a boyfriend tried to sell me as a "friend"/"Roommate". Having to hide a relationship, especially one that's lasted so long, is completely unacceptable.
 
sixthson said:
I'm a little puzzled about your timidity in discussing things with your bf of one year. You have mentioned this before. Why are you not completely comfortable with him by now?
Click to expand...

I"m wondering the same thing about the OP too.

The mere notion that you, erobert, are hesitant to talk to him about this really confuses me, and maybe it's a sign that you are not invested or committed in your relationship. Do you want to go? If so, talk to your him! Talk to him about everything you think and feel...that's what bf's do. Besides, he already said he wants you there....why do you question it now? He must be ok with his extended family knowing that the two of you are together, otherwise he wouldn't have extended the invitation.
 
Is everyone afraid to communicate with their partners? Communication is the key to any chance of success in a relationship! If you are afraid of honestly talking to the person you are having sex with perhaps it would be better not to be in a relationship at all. That is just my opinion.
 
Rolyo85 said:
Definitely not this. I mean, to each his own, but I would be extremely hurt if a boyfriend tried to sell me as a "friend"/"Roommate". Having to hide a relationship, especially one that's lasted so long, is completely unacceptable.
Click to expand...

^This. Definitely this!

If you're already out to friends and immediate family members, screw what the extended family thinks.
 
/\ Very much agree I would be very hurt if a BF introduced me as a "friend"; when you love someone it shouldn't matter what other people think.

Well still have not met the parents, they're leaving on Sat and having a dinner. Can't see him until Sun (when they all leave) and pushed back a double date with a friend... this needs to be addressed with him! :##: Delicately, though since I don't know what's up. Maybe he's embarrassed about his parent's and thinks I won't like them. Or is overly concerned with what the extended family will think... feeling guilty for being frustrated and a bit angry.
 
^^^
I'd rather be introduced as a friend than "see you Sunday after they all leave".

You have every right to be upset. I don't think that you should feel guilty for your feelings.
 
Rolyo85 said:
Definitely not this. I mean, to each his own, but I would be extremely hurt if a boyfriend tried to sell me as a "friend"/"Roommate". Having to hide a relationship, especially one that's lasted so long, is completely unacceptable.
Click to expand...
There will be no wine before its time. Some things may take a little longer.
 
Maybe this will provide some perspective, or maybe it won't ...

I'm a Preacher's Kid, and the first male, in 5 generations of my Family's "Branch", that did not go into The Ministry. SO ... the fact that I'm GAY was not something that I cared to "put OUT there"! I just didn't know how that would be taken!

However, when I took "My" Kev to my sister's second (actually third, since she married her first husband twice ... Long story) wedding, and consequentially my niece's first, I was Very SENSITIVE about what Everyone would think! FAMILY can be SO Unpredictable! And, it was a Major Concern!

Fortunately, Everyone not only Accepted "My" Kev, but they also seemed to LIKE Him More than Me!

The "Thing" is, we can't always predict what Others' reaction is going to be. Talking about what might happen, vs. actually DOING It, can prove to be more important! (group)

In any case ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz :luv:
 
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