Not sure if this belongs here?

[FloridaBoi]

I didnt really know which forum I should post this in,

My mom and dad have been going thru a lot lately. Mom had to go into the hospital which was the fault of panic attacks. Well when we were alone she finally told me what was going on. I work for the County, My dad also worked there until a couple months ago when he quit. Mom told me that she caught him cheating with one of the County Supervisors and thats why he up and quit with no reason.

Dad doesnt know that she told me. The lady doesnt work at the same department as me but I still have to see her sometimes and im not sure what is going to happen the next time I see her.

What I was wondering is, isnt there some kind of rule against having a whore as a County offical, Sleeping with husbands. I asked around and from what Ive been told she throws herself on many men.

Im not speaking to my dad and im not sure whats going to happen between him and mom. I love my job and dont want to leave but I dont see any other option, Its either her or me because if I see her were probably both gonna lose our jobs.

This may not even make any sence to anyone but im just hurt and confused and didnt have anyone else to talk to.


-Matthew

 

[GL]

it's pretty obvious that your hurt and angry.

the only thing i can tell you is to be very cautious. if you value your job then give this woman a wide berth. you may see her everyday and unless your duties intersect with hers then just leave her be. your job is not worth an altercation with her for whatever transgressions she's been involved (i don't lay the blame entirely at her feet as it takes two to tango).

other than that all i can say is that i am sorry for your troubles.

 

[FloridaBoi]

I dont blame her entirely, Im equally angry with her and my dad, Shes married as well.

It just hurts me to see my mom hurting.


-Matthew

 

[GL]

I dont blame her entirely, Im equally angry with her and my dad, Shes married as well.

It just hurts me to see my mom hurting.


-Matthew

well i can certainly appreciate that.

you are right to be angry and hurt yourself but at the same time i would hate to see you do something that gets you in trouble and costs you your position. do take care.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Mathew,

Right now mate you have to consider yourself first... in the sense that the last thing you need or your Mum really is for you to do something that would jeopardize your employment. Who knows in the short term you may end up supporting or helping your Mum out so be very careful as to what you say and do when you see this women.

Most likely the county wouldn't even consider her actions outside of work as your defense should you need to explain yourself... employers will usually say that personal matters are exactly that and as long as she hasnt done anything wrong at work then sadly shes free to do what she likes....

Having said all that, I understand why you feel like you do. Hell I would wonder more about you if you didnt.... but you are spot on when you say this is as much about your Dad. It always takes two to tango and bad judgement in these cases always comes is pairs. For whatever reason this happened your Dad played his part and the consequences will be his to suffer.

Your Mum's side is where you need to be... as her support and shoulder. She has some big decisions to make it would seem and she'll need to know that you're ok with whatever she does. Try to stay a little removed while she decides how she handles this... you cant do anything more than offer your feelings when she asks... her decisions on her life need to be ones that she makes for her self and ones she feels she can live with.

At the end of the day mate, your Dad has made some poor choices for whatever reason. As has the woman he works with.

But for now you can do little but let your Mum deal with this however she feels best. Knowing that you are by her side though will be worth more to her than you know.

 

[supergurl]

^^^^^ yes to all of that! i agree.....that sucks so much and if it were me i'd just kick her ass! --well would really want to anyway! knowing me i'd tell her husband!!! no joke! he should know what she's been up to!

 

[rareboy]

What I was wondering is, isnt there some kind of rule against having a whore as a County offical, Sleeping with husbands. I asked around and from what Ive been told she throws herself on many men.

Okay, listen up.

You are now an adult, not an angry child.

You can't even begin to know what made your father sleep with another woman and hurt your mother, but life is complicated.

Do not let your mother use you as her weapon. She's the one who has to decide what she is going to do about his affair and this other person, not you. If she kicks him out, then you can decide whether you will forgive him.

But you keep your nose out of the other woman's affairs. She was only one of two consenting adults. If you can't deal with her being in the same workplace, find another job. You should ask to see her and your father together and tell them how disappointed you are with them and that it has made the situation untenable for you. Just make sure you talk to them like adults.

 

[FloridaBoi]

I suspected something way before my mom ever did. The way that this lady would act around my dad made me uneasy.


I havent spoken to my dad since it happened and he told my mom that I was acting differently towards him, WELL NO SHIT! I could very easily let go and forget if it wasnt for my mom.


She has been very upset and I had to put her in the hospital last weekend because shes having panic attacks, her doctor scared her even worse by telling her it could be her heart which it wasnt.


My mom called the lady and they had it out over the phone and my mom sortof threatened her, I wish she wouldnt have done that but I was at work at the time and didnt know about it.


I dont plan on leaving my job, I work for the Road Department she works for the Solid Waste Department so I dont see her all the time but sometimes the departments have to help each other.


I have so much anger and hurt in my heart that I dont know what I am going to do when I see this lady, I pray that I can get it out of my mind, but it just comes at such a bad time. I have so much other stress in my life rigth now and this just topped it off.


Thanks for the help guys.....


-Matthew

 

[chatolandia]

Matthew

Yeah it is awful, especially because of what your mother is going through.


Yeah you do have the right to be angry, and hurt.

But you cannot do anything about it. Really, you can talk with your dad, and be angry at him, and scream at him all you want, if you feel that way.

But this woman, with all her faults, you have to stay away from. This will get you in more trouble that it is worth, and the only person that will lose is you. If she has done it before, she knows how to get out of it...

So be VERY careful, and find another way to deal with your anger. And stay away from her, she is obviously a toxic individual.



and on a last note

At the end of the day, your MOM and your DAD have to work it out themselves, without your intervention.

if they split or somehow find a way to get back together, it is up to THEM, not you.


Remember he is still your Dad, and will continue being your dad no matter what. (with warts and all)