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Not Sure What This Guy Is Thinking...

R

rachelwinders

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Okay, so this is my very first post. I have been a lurker here for years. I've taken so much info and entertainment from the members here on the various forums. Thanks!

Here's my situation: there's this guy that I have developed a thing for almost immediately. I met him at school about a year ago briefly. We exchanged info and chatted a bit online and on the phone; strictly about meeting up to hang out. Nothing ever came out of it and stopped trying.

Recently, we hung out for the first real time. Grabbed a drink nothing special. I had an instant crush on him that night. We end the night. As I head home, he texts me asking if it was that bad of a night because he thought I wasn't into it and wanted to hang out a little more.

After that, there was a lot of texting and chatting about having a second "date". We kept planning, but it was always a dead end. We made plans and then I tried to confirm the day of us hanging out and got no response. I gave up and made other plans. He ended up texting me an hour or so before saying that I set the date and it was still on as far as he was concerned. It wasn't only the confirmation that made me second guess things, but the fact that he doesn't text me back or call me back.

We went out the other night and I ended up spending the night, which was great. He wanted to hold my hand out at night and felt threatened when guys approached me while we were out.

But its the same thing. He doesn't get back to me. I hate that. he does leave me cute little texts saying that he wants to hold me and cant wait to see me or him thinking I'm sexy, but it goes from that to hearing nothing from him. I feel like I'm trying too hard to hang out with this guy. I know its stupid and I should be so hung up on him. At the same time, it feel very genuine when we hang out and when he texts me. But I hate the fact I don't hear from him or even acknowledges me trying to get a hold of him. I feel that maybe he just not that interested. I don't know.

Am I being a baby? Should I just lay off and let him make the next move? Do I forget about him? Any and all feedback is appreciated.

Thanks
 
1. Am I being a baby? 2. Should I just lay off and let him make the next move? 3. Do I forget about him? Any and all feedback is appreciated.
Click to expand...

1. No
2. Perhaps
3. No
 
It's always tough when the other guy doesn't have the same feelings or respond the way you think he should. Don't push it, let him make the next move.
This relationship, if it can be called that is not likely to work. So be ready for the crash and don't let it destroy you.
 
I'm already looking at it as if it were to ever become a relationship, it wouldn't work. I think there's a part of me that wants it to develop for the sake of game. There is some allure to it simply because its difficult. I want to see what I have to do in order for him to be the guy I want. If I ignore the fact he doesn't get back to me, he's a great guy. But its the fact he doesn't get back to me thats the huge issue with. Its like I want him more that he wants me. I dont want to be that guy.
 
How about this: Explain how it makes you feel when he doesn't get back to you and ask for his take on what you said.
 
...but if he acts like he could care less when and if he gets back to you, i'd say give him the same treatment. Make it a 50/50 thing. You give him what he gives you.

I can't agree with this advice. Just tell him what you feel. I am guessing he doesn't know what hes doing.
 
No reason to put up with that kind of inconsiderate crap!
 
moschj said:
No reason to put up with that kind of inconsiderate crap!
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Thats exactly what I feel. I look at it from a third person perspective and would say that I need to get over and move on. I can find someone better suited for my needs., but I want him.

I've taken him off my buddy list so I wont be tempted to instant message him. The same thing with him in my phone. For now, I'm letting it be. He needs to be the one to get a hold of me. I've persisted him enough, he needs to make the next move. I'm not gonna be an obsessive fool and constantly try to contact him.
 
Here's an update:

I text him in the middle of the night and responded by saying that I have a funny way of showing him that I care and that i need to stop being passive aggressive. We then agreed that we would hang out thursday night (this happened on saturday). We have since texted a few times where he says that he wants me to show him that I care. But he's acting up again. I havent heard from him in 48 hours. He hasnt responded and now its coming up to date night. What the fuck is this guys problem?
 
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