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Not sure what to do

D

djmigra

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Sorry, I know posts like these are on here all the time, just looking for someone who's been thru this. Had a girl over tonight, tried to fuck and of course, couldn't seal the deal. Blamed it on the few drinks I had, I always come up with an excuse of why I can never finish. As soon as she's gone, I throw on some gay porn and of course I shoot like a maniac in no time, then disgust sets in. Always hoping, this is just a phase and i'll grow out of it. I wanna be able to have sex with women, but I've had gay fantasies for so long I"m not sure what to do. When I masturbate, the thought of being gay makes my heart skip faster, I stick something in my ass and cum like crazy. Then the disgust again and thinking I've gotta go find me a girlfriend to break this phase and i'm not gay, its just a masturbation fantasy. Sorry for rambling.
 
djmigra said:
Sorry, I know posts like these are on here all the time, just looking for someone who's been thru this. Had a girl over tonight, tried to fuck and of course, couldn't seal the deal. Blamed it on the few drinks I had, I always come up with an excuse of why I can never finish. As soon as she's gone, I throw on some gay porn and of course I shoot like a maniac in no time, then disgust sets in. Always hoping, this is just a phase and i'll grow out of it. I wanna be able to have sex with women, but I've had gay fantasies for so long I"m not sure what to do. When I masturbate, the thought of being gay makes my heart skip faster, I stick something in my ass and cum like crazy. Then the disgust again and thinking I've gotta go find me a girlfriend to break this phase and i'm not gay, its just a masturbation fantasy. Sorry for rambling.
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I would suggest seeing a counselor that you could talk to about your feelings. It might help you sort some things out.
 
Denial about the situation will only make it worse for yourself and those romantic partners involved.

I agree with the above poster; talk to a counselor or someone you whole-heartedly trust about these feelings you're having. Once you start accepting them, I think they'll be much less difficult to deal with.
 
Since this has been going on for a while, you have an idea of what turns you on.

There's really two issues here-
  1. that you have an attraction to men (and cocks) that you're battling with and
  2. that you're more stimulated by porn and masturbation than you are by sex with women.

One of these things you can change. The other one is much harder to change.

One thing that you haven't posted about is why you don't want to deal with your attraction to guys. If you are gay or at least bisexual, what is the problem with exploring that option?
 
Your attraction to men is not going away. You have to deal with your sexuality eventually. You might as well do that now since you want to cum during sex.

The good news is, you can still cum with the right visual/fantasy. You are fine physically. All you need to do is address the mental part of sex. You cannot help who you're attracting too. Attraction to men is not a phase...and it's totally fine. There is nothing wrong with that.
 
The most difficult person to come out to can be oneself. The fact is we are expected to be straight and we probably have learned to also expect that of ourselves as well.

I felt sad reading the word disgust, but glad you were honest. You must have had some programming to lead you to that feeling. So what has been the message you've received regarding homosexuality?

If it turns out that you are gay you may need some professional help to help you come to terms with it. Good luck to you.
 
Grew up like most everyone, hearing that being gay is wrong. That's the message I got. Still just trying to figure out if its just fantasy for me or what, guess I was looking for someone in here to say, "thats how I was too!" lol. Guess everyone is different. I don't feel gay, I feel like i'm attracted to women. BUT, when i discovered my dads porn stash when I was younger, I would just salivate over the cocks. I would think, its just a fantasy for when I jack off. Secretly started jacking off to gay porn and would cum even harder. Who knows...i'm a mess, lol. i just think, ok, i'm straight, but i have this deep secret of loving to fantasize that i'm gay when I jack off, then after I cum i think, I need a girlfriend!
 
I used to think like that before I came to the conclusion that I was gay. Right after I had gotten off, I didn't feel sexually aroused by men, and I thought, "okay, then the attraction is probably not real". But the next time I jacked off, it would be the men who attracted me – and when I finished off, that feeling would disappear.

You may try to suppress this part of your sexuality, if you want to. And it may just be a phase. So, if you want to, just go for that. Some time and doubt might just make you more certain of one or another. But, try to avoid bringing other's in to solve your confusion. Getting a girlfriend just to seem less gay isn't very kind to whoever's dragged into that relationship.
 
It really sounds like you need to talk to someone, coming here was a good start but a professional can probably help you better understand what you're feeling.

And like jubalon said don't get a girlfriend to help you decide what you want, she'll just end up getting hurt as will you.
 
Thanx to all for the replies...especially Jubalon...glad to hear someone had some similar thought processes that I'm having.
 
When you learn to let go of the denial your sexual performance will improve.
When i tried to stop forcing an attraction to women only then could i tell where my sexuality lay.
 
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