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Ok, so now what?!

C

chris3276

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Hey guys,
So due to a previous post on here, I decided to take a real hard look at my life and here's what I found. I am fairly certain I am a gay man!
So here's my question and please bear these facts in mind:
i) I have had no sexual experience with a man
ii) I live in Manchester
iii) I have no immediate plans to tell my friends or family until i'm 100% sure

Soooo,
what do I do next?!

Any help/advice/suggestions will be more than welcome,
and thanks to the guys on my last post giving great advice

Chris
x
 
Do you know of any GLBT groups around where you live? I'm not at all familiar with the UK.

I think it would be good if you made gay-friendly friends that you could talk to about this.

There are gay hookup sites, but I think that would be a mistake for you. I don't know what the names of them are in the UK anyway. The reason why I think it is a mistake is because I think you need emotional support and sexual gratification and that getting one without the other might skew your perception of sex.

There can be sex without love, but you have to be able to understand that and why make things more difficult for yourself? Hookup guys can be insensitive and not care about you. Others can be great.

After typing all of this, I think a friends with benefits (friend who you have sex with) might be a good idea for you. Stay open to whatever might develop though.

Good luck!
 
I'm sure plenty of guys will tell you to go have sex with a man and you will know if you are gay or not. As if being gay is all about sex.
You know you are gay when you realize you want to give your heart to a man and not just your dick.
There are probably lots of gay men whose equipment would respond to a woman if she handled him just right. In fact, I think they call them bisexuals.
 
pisces89 said:
I don't get how people can not know.

I understand not knowing if you're bi or not, but I mean.. ?? What gets you aroused? I've been gay since I could think.
Click to expand...

lucky you, some others have a hard time trying to figure it out.

Now, Chris, what's next is really up to you. What do YOU want to do next? do you want some gay sex experience? Do you want to find a partner? would you like to hang out with other gay guys? Do you want to scream at everybody you're gay?

try to ask some of those questions to yourself and then come back here and tell me.

best of luck! :wave:
 
pisces89 said:
I don't get how people can not know.

I understand not knowing if you're bi or not, but I mean.. ?? What gets you aroused? I've been gay since I could think.
Click to expand...

pisces89, I think it's more of a question of wondering if you would enjoy sex with a guy. If you know you like sex with men, then you are more than likely gay. For some people that have to deal with doubt or maybe just low sex drives, it's not as easy of a question.

This is only scratching the surface of possible reasons why someone might not know.

I hope that helps!
 
I'm not too sure what I want right now, maybe a relationship? I know for sure I want to experience what it means to be a gay man, the lifestyle, the social life, the feeling of freedom. Basically i want to immerse myself in this world, and then in a few months see where I am, and how everything feels.
I know this has been building for a longtime, maybe i'm bi or maybe i'm gay, but I do know I have a sexual desire toward men.

Chris
x
 
then what the hell are you waiting for? get out there mate, go clubbing, meet some gay men, hang out with them, try to make some friends and ask them how they're doing. Find out about their personal experiences about gay life too, "having fun" is important but not the only part of being gay, and who knows? you may find a good partner to be and enjoy life with.
In short my friend, you have the desire then go for it.

:)
 
chris3276 said:
I'm not too sure what I want right now, maybe a relationship? I know for sure I want to experience what it means to be a gay man, the lifestyle, the social life, the feeling of freedom. Basically i want to immerse myself in this world, and then in a few months see where I am, and how everything feels.
I know this has been building for a longtime, maybe i'm bi or maybe i'm gay, but I do know I have a sexual desire toward men.
Click to expand...

Well, honestly... part of the whole coming out process is trying "the lifestyle". Some people do feel more comfortable in urban areas where there is a separate world for gay people. But most gay people don't live in the tinsel ghetto and the majority of us live otherwise ordinary lives.

You have to find your own place and what "being gay" is for you.

Get out there. Meet some people. Date. Just live honestly. The rest will fall into place.
 
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