Old College Roommate

[Otherwise]

O.k. I just wanted to say beforehand that this is a rant and I apologize but I'm just really frustrated right now.

My Freshmen year college roommate was/is a born again Christian who was an absolute jerk. I mean the true stereotypical prejudicial born again christian who was unbelievably ignorant. I still remember when his parents dropped him off that he and his parents spoke to our other roommates when they thought that I wasn't in the room about me saying (since I am black) not to feel threatened in reporting me to administration if I get out of hand. I kid you not. The kid was the most f'ed up individual that I've ever met and I honestly felt bad for him for awhile until he started doing things that were very manipulative and underhanded, at which point I just ignored him. Needless to say we didn't get along and I always had a feeling that the basis of his hatred was that he was gay, specifically since he continuously gay-bashed and bad mouthed anyone that was different.

So after college, my suspicions were confirmed and I heard through the grapevine that he came out of the closet. So this jerk who treated everyone like dirt and pretty much had anti-gay rallies with his youth christian coalition came out. Kind of funny, but he didn't have to go through all of the crap that comes with it. His parent were completely accepting, he found this amazing Boyfriend. Nicest guy imaginable, truly one of the kindest most considerate people that I've ever met. He also just graduated from Med school, landed an amazing residency; his parents also bought him a home, that he's moving into with his doctor boyfriend.

I know I should be happy for him, that he's living a fairy tale dream, but come on!! Seriously where is the justice in the world? How is it that someone that is so fundamentally cruel and self-centered be given so much? How is this fair? Things like this really make me question why I bother to be a nice person or do the "right thing" when all it does is cause me more problems? I know I shouldn't wish ill of anyone, and I should never ever hope that someone has a bad coming out story/situation, but seriously if there was ever a person that deserved to have one its him. Spoiled, pampered, inconsiderate bigot that he is gets to have one of the smoothest transitions ever. Not even a hiccup in his plan or life.

Sorry for the long rant but I think it's just jealously rearing it's ugly head. Primarily because he doesn't even seem to realize just how lucky he is or even appreciate the situation that he's in. He pretty much treats this entire situation as entitlement. His due. Grr the sheer arrogance. I would have given anything for just a 1/10th of what he has, something that he didn't even really have to struggle for. Yes I know an argument can be made that he must have been struggling with his identity during college but he still rallied against and made the situation worse for every other gay person on campus by his comments and actions.

O.k. I'm going to stop now, but thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm honestly not the type of person to belittle or condemn someone's success but tonight was just one of those WTF moments.

 

[StlKj]

Well, if it's any consolation at all, the whole time he was ranting against gays he was probably hating himself more than you could ever imagine. Perhaps one day he'll also wake up and find his life filled with shallow materialism and a hot boyfriend who loves being seen with him more than he loves him.

In the meantime, why not work more on making yourself happy, and maybe you'll wish less misery on him?

 

[giorgiobaby]

Just because he came out of the closet and has a dream life doesn't mean he's a better person for it. Small minded people don't change overnight, he's probably still the same mean underhanded person and it will catch up with him at some point....and true to form, he will probably find someone or something to place all the blame on. Feel better now?

 

[rareboy]

The mill of the gods grinds slowly, but exceedingly fine.

He won't get out of this life alive.

Get on with yours.

 

[texan_slant]

This is definitely NOT meant to be a slam on the original poster here...this is just my own personal perspective on life and people...

Over the years, I have learned a lot about time. *My* time. If I knew someone like that, and it was someone who I didn't really care for, I definitely wouldn't have wasted the time and energy on typing one iota about him.

 

[Demandred753]

Appreciate your own self-worth and you won't ever have to worry about anyone else's. Maybe he's not even happy with his great residency, great boyfriend, and great (all expenses paid) home. He could be the most miserable person in the world. He could very well be happy. You'll never really know. So why focus on it? Focus on how well you will do with your college degree and that sexy, nice guy you'll one day find.

Man, therapy has made me really "holier than thou..."

 

[Lube]

Oh, c'mon, he said it was just a rant for Christ's sake.

I feel for you, Otherwise. But this is one of those life lessons: as you become an adult, you realize life isn't fair. So you just have to move on.

After you vent.

 

[Smitho]

Seriously you have to let it go, how many years ago was this? Get on with your life and stop worrying about someone who is evidently a complete twat. The guys a tosser and got lucky, so what? It makes no difference to you. Go out and get laid would be my advise, and stop worrying about him.

 

[hotb0d]

I have to ask from your Freshmen year living with him until the time of his coming out...how many years were this? I mean if he's a born again Christian and he came out, that means he must have gone through some rough time or experiences IMO. I don't know, he could be a much much better person then he was before.

 

[Otherwise]

Wow thanks guys for responding.

Honestly this was just me venting after getting a couple of shocks. This is a guy that I honestly haven't thought about since we graduated. It was just one of those weird coincidences where I was going out with a couple of friends who invited their old friends, who invited their friends out for dinner to catch up. He just happened to be a friend of a friend that was invited along.

Hotb0d I agree with you. When I went to dinner and saw this kid there I figured that since it's been 4 years since I spoke to him, 7 years (geez) since Freshmen year and he's done so much and I assumed go through a lot, he would change but he didn't. I think his attitude more then anything frustrated me. That someone could still be so narrow-minded, underhanded and just cruel after all this time just baffled me. The entire night just felt as if I was in a Punk'd episode, and I was waiting for someone to jump out and say gotcha.

Honestly I don't wish him ill will and I don't discount whatever difficulty he may have gone through, but this was kind of like reading the end of a Christmas Carol and seeing Scrooge tell the paperboy to shut the "F" up he's sleeping and then selling Tiny Tim's home, and throwing him out on the street to build a strip mall. Just very unexpected.

I did just want to say again thanks guys for your responses and reading this. I was just venting my frustration but really thank you this helped a lot.

 

[spencer]

If I were still the guy's friend, I would in a conversation mention how horrible a person he was back then and make it known how lucky and blessed he his despite of how he was. I would ask him if he thought about the people he hurt and ask him if it was worth it to be so closed minded. Then I would say, hopefully next time when you come across someone who doesn't necessarily have the same view as you you'd be more tolerant and understanding and learned from your past and be more gracious. but that's just me.