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Older guys

A

Anewguy

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Is it okay to be attracted to only older guys? I find myself not interested in anyone my own age. I'm a Freshmen in college and am just coming out, and I can't really connect with any of my other gay friends.
 
It's perfectly ok!

Just realize there are pros and cons.

But, really, it's ok.
 
Anewguy said:
Is it okay to be attracted to only older guys? I find myself not interested in anyone my own age. I'm a freshman in college and am just coming out, and I can't really connect with any of my other gay friends.
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Yes it is. I was where you were (or at least in a similar place) when I was a Freshmen in college. I'll give you a few pointers and if you have any more questions let me know. How old are the guys you are attracted to?

I've had two serious bf's. One was 42, when I was 18. The other is 71 and I am currently 25.

When people tell you that you are in different stages of your lives, that is true. This is especially true when you are still in college. You want to make sure you put in a lot of time into getting the most out of college. You want to do internships and keep your grades up. You want to make contacts with your fellow classmates and keep in touch with your professors if you plan on going to graduate school.

If you are with an older boyfriend is probably already into his career and has finished college and probably graduate school. He might be looking to settle down. He's probably (hopefully) out, but he could have an ex-wife and/or kids. If that's the case you really want to decide where you would fit into that situation.

It's likely that you will have some hobbies in common, but also differences. He may like different music, movies, and TV shows. You have to be able to compromise and do some of the things that he wants to do and he should want to do some of the things you want to do. You might not understand the same slang and may need to explain certain words to him and he may have to do the same with you.

You need to be okay with friends asking questions and maybe being uncomfortable with your relationship and not understanding it. It's best not to lie about the relationship. It's also best to make sure you have some separate parts of your lives. Make sure that your only friends aren't his friends. Make sure that you stay in touch with your friends and make time for them.

Sexually he may not have the same energy level as you and you need to be able to respect this or come up with a reasonable arrangement so both of your needs are met. Be aware his sex drive will probably decrease over time.

He may have different ideas about coming out and/or gay rights than you do. Be respectful of differences, but make sure that you are ideas are being heard and your needs are being met.

There will probably be inequality of money, but I would make the effort to pay for things every once in a while so it's not totally one way.

Finally, be aware that he will probably retire before you. This could cause it's own issues down the line.

I hope this has helped.

Feel free to ask me any more questions either by responding to this post or PM'ing me. Whichever you find easier. And remember a lot of this advice also stands for relationships in general.
 
As an older guy, of course, I would say it's OK. :-)

But, besides that, who can say what is the proper object of anyone's love?
 
Yeah it's fine you may be attracted to them because they are more mature in their behaviour and that can be a good thing
though enjoy life while you are young and maybe mix it up by dating both guys your age and older and see how you feel then.
 
Why are they your friends if you can't connect with them? Dump them.
 
it's fine. For many of us it all started like that, but as you're getting older some day guys you like now will be your same age or so anyway, so don't worry. Just bare in mind that older guys (me included) are going through different stages of their lives (different from yours) and interests, wanting, aims are different. Therefore, if what you're looking for is a partner and settle down with long-term relationships, it may be quite difficult.

in short it's fine but be careful.
 
Yes, it is OK. I am 11 years older than my "Boo."
 
I sure hope it's OK as one of the older guys (40+) i find mostly younger guys attractive. Not half my age young mind you but anything from 25 to my own age is where i tend to cast my eye.
 
I think It's okay. I'm 46 and dating a guy who's 29. We like different things but you learn to just except that your not always going to like the same things.
 
it's good if it's good

we all have different attractions - and they're involuntary

i like all guys of all ages - originally i was very attracted to younger - exclusively- and have developed a liking for older recently - definitely different - which is what i like about it

good luck
 
Of course it is! Also, what others have said.

Pianist said:
Certainly it's okay, all things being equal, but as someone from the older side, I really can't see myself involved with someone in his, say, twenties.

I was married, have kids, AND grandkids, and really doubt there'd be much in common when it comes to life experience.

So, though I may be in the minority, not ALL old guys are lusting, panting, and chasing after younger guys.

Friendship is one thing, sex and relationship are something else again.
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But, see, you're not interested in younger guys, just as not all younger guys are interested in older guys. That's OK too, but not at all the issue here.
 
I'm simply not attracted to guys my age because they still 'look' and 'behave' like children. From a lot of people I hear that I act and have the life experience of a guy in his 40's. Dating a guy in his 30's to even in his 50's makes me feel like we're on the same height. My bf is 40+ and we're still together after half a year!
 
Anewguy said:
Is it okay to be attracted to only older guys? I find myself not interested in anyone my own age. I'm a freshman in college and am just coming out, and I can't really connect with any of my other gay friends.
Click to expand...

When it comes to relationships, learn to develop a thick skin. Its also a good way to know who your real friends are - the one who won't judge you for who you love.

Age is just a number, go after guys with the looks, personality, and experience you find attractive.
 
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