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Online relationships

jdbadboy

jdbadboy

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Does anyone have any experiences or thoughts on online relationships? I met a guy online a few months ago and things are getting pretty intense between us even though we haven't met. In fact I think I am in love with him. I know I shouldn't get too carried away with something like this but it has been a surprising and overwhelming experience and I wasn't expecting it at all.

I don't think we will be able to meet in the very near future either. We are both students, live in different states, and he still lives with his parents and isn't out yet.

What should I do? Should I try to cool things down between us? Make long term plans?
 
Well...

I'd have to say that in order to be really in love with someone, you have to experience them in the flesh. You have to share experiences together. At the moment, I suspect you just have a major cyber-crush.

In this case you can be in love with the filtered aspects of their personality that you choose to share with one another.

If I were you, I'd make plans on meeting up. Somewhere. Somehow. Soon. And then see what happens.

Until then, enjoy your pen-pal friendship for what it is and don't ignore your real life in favour of an on-line obsession.
 
I assume that you actually talk as in by voice and also on cam so you can see expressions. The only way it will ever move forward is if you actually do meet in person so perhaps you should concentrate in getting that to happen so that at least you will know what the future might hold. Maybe meet 1/2 way between you and spend a weekend together.

This is the only way to really know the way forward and the sooner the better so you don't build false hopes only to have them dashed, or miss out on would actually could work out.

Edit: I was so slow typing and doing other stuff that Rareboy posted as I was composing and, as always, put it so much better.
 
I was in a LDR with someone on the internet one time and it did not work out. I have known others that have, but mine didn't.

Despite exchanging lots of information, videos, photos, phone calls, etc. there was no substitute for seeing someone in person and just getting to know the 3-dimension them. Some of the simple nuances of everyday life just don't translate over the internet...how they react to things, how they treat people, their moods, their energy levels...all the things that make a person whole.

Once we did meet up, we knew within an hour or two that we weren't right for each other. It made for a quite a long weekend. We're still friends, though, but we each have partners that we met in the here-and-now and were in the same city.

I don't mean to be discouraging and I emphasize that just my own experience didn't work. I have known some to pull it off, but I think they might be the exception rather than the rule.
 
It can work...

but I think it's problyl a lil bit too much to say u already in love without even knowing him Face 2 face...

U can have a great bond/connection but thats pretty much about it
 
I'm not trying to be discourage or anything but unless one of you willing to relocate, the survival of this kind of relationship is next to impossible no matter how strong the intensity you think there is. I had a similar relationship with a guy and I thought it was for real until one day he cut me off out of the blue for no reason. I hadn't realized that I was under delusion all along. We had chat for 3 to 4 times in a week. Above all, we shared same interests. He told me that we really clicked. I even had planned to travel to his location which is 1300 miles away. After 4 months into distance relationship, he cut me off without giving any reason. I left offline messages to find out what was all about but he never returned. So I sent email to make sure he was ok. When I sent that, he simply said that he didn't receive any of my messages and didn't see me online which I thought was a lie considering I'm always log in. To give him a benefit of a doubt, I wait for a month to see if he contact me. Unsurprisingly, He'd never. At this point, I realized that this was not working and decided to end it.
 
Yeah, file it under the "promising" category until you get to meet. Mine worked, but others haven't.

Lex
 
Thanks, that was all some very good advice and personal stories. It has really helped me put things into perspective.
 
I've met a man online a year ago but I met him in person last March. We both had a crush on each other but we don't allowed ourselves to fall in love. It was a wise thing we did.

Feelings are complicated. As rareboy said, "you can be in love with the filtered aspects of their personality that you choose to share with one another."

Which is why you think you are in love.

From then on, just keep your feet on earth and plan a meet up with him so you can learn about each other in real.
 
there's nothing wrong with it..sometimes they do work..but all that can only be found out..once ur'll meet..
 
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