Only Attracted to Whites?

[hanzosword]

This may be a bit of a rant on my behalf.

As someone of mixed background (I am half indian and half white) people can never tell my ethnicity.

When people say they are only attracted to white guys, it confused me, on one hand they play it off as if its not stereotypical, not being judgemental, and its not racist. (I for one thing it is, and its not just a preference but anyways)

Secondly where does that leave mixed races and also there surely can't be something inherent in all coloured people that is so unnattractive. Can there not be exceptions and so on.

The same goes with any feature not just skin colour.

Sorry I just had to get it off my chest.

I totally agree with everything you said. There just can't be something inherent in an entire race of people that is unattractive. All the people in one race, like blacks for instance, come in all shades, shapes, sizes and different looks, so how can every one of them be unattractive? It has to be the skin color and maybe the stereotypes in people's minds that they find unattractive. I think people who have these "preferences" are a bit racist and they don't even realize it. Why can't it just be that you find an unattractive person unattractive and vice versa?

I am of course attracted to anyone who looks good to me with a nice personality, but I think it's something people of color always have to think about when we are attracted to someone of another race. They might not "prefer" someone of your own race.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Justlove856, the word "oriental" is an archaic expression of institutionalized racism that is highly offensive to many. Your description of how you mean the word is also humorously ignorant.

Are not Chinese and Korean people Asian? Asian is the correct, generalized expression you can make of people whose family backgrounds come from Asia.

 

[aijalon18]

orientals as in - asians, chinese, koreans etc etc...calm down

I think you may not realize that oriental is very offensive to asian people. It's archaic. Kinda like calling a black person colored.

 

[aijalon18]

never knew that...and never heard that in my entire life...so what do you call them?

You call them asian, asian-american or asian descent. It seems you ddint mean any harm but just didnt know. If you havent grown up around any asian people or have many asian I can see how you wouldnt know. I think people know colored is bad b/c in media so much you see that it's wrong. But there is little about asians in popular american culture aside from food.

 

[youngnihilist]

I also agree, oriental is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

 

[saymyname]

Answer: Cultural perception of ideal male beauty instilled through film, music, photography, and art. It is societal racism, but it is difficult to label a personal individual as racist because of it. Most guys can't help what feels or doesn't feel attractive to them.

I like all skin colors, but I will admit I find a larger quantity of white guys attractive. It doesn't make me a racist, and I doubt there is a guy out there who equally finds all skin colors attractive. We all have our personal tastes in men. The difference to not being racist is keeping your options open.

I agree with this the most. I was raised (and hence, sexualized) around ALL white boys. Seriously. All. So, when I find myself attracted to men, it's kind of de-facto white men.

That's not to say I don't see the occasional hispanic guy that really turns me on, or what have you. But usually I just find myself attracted to white guys.

Although, I agree it would be racist to go out of your way to put on your profile, NO ASIANS or something. That's just putting it out there too much. I don't like guys taller than me either, but I don't say NO TALL GUYS.

 

[Zackar]

I'm half black and half Lebanese. I have been turned down a few times because of some guys don't like black guys. A lot of them thought I was some type of Berber. It happens. It was upsetting at first, but now I just ignore it. You can't please everyone...

well you look like Moorish people of north Africa
i think you should have a north africain race
back to the topic
no i'm attracted to every kind of men

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

I have never heard of this in my life..when I think of Asian decent I think of a person from Asia...so a person from China or Vietnam could say I'm Asian????



Its all in the way you say it or don't say it....I would NEVER put on my profile I'm NOT INTO...._____ (insert race)

I've seen all of the following:

- NO BLACK GUYS
- NOT INTO BLACKS
-NO BLACKS
- IF YOUR BLACK DO NOT MESSAGE ME
-WHITES ONLY

All can be taken as racist...I have emailed some of these dudes and they always say...oh i have a friend thats black so i'm not racist....or some excuse but its just the way they present it which makes them appear raicsit

That's BS- your over simplification of the matter is quite naive...you just said you arnt attracted to "Asians" basically so does that make you a racist?

Using the distorted definition of "race"

 

[bankside]

Wow I agree that everyone is allowed to be attracted to whomever they want to be sexually attracted to. However, I think the OP's message is linking to the issue of sexual racism in the gay community.
I think what the OP is suggesting though is when someone writes in a post "only into whites" it is like the person is trying to say "whiteness" is superior to other races. And if people don't think "race" matters in the gay male community they are lying.

In the gay male culture, look at the magazines, movies, books, it all revolves around this image of the young, white, muscular, blonde or brunette adonis.

I am not white and I am not blonde or a brunette either. However, that's why I am glad shows like Noah's Arc emerged a few years ago.

I think some gay men of colour get caught up in looking for the "white gay boyfriend" because they are marginalized in their own community. These gay men of colour think "having a white guy" means social acceptance in the white gay culture.

I recall knowning a lot of Asian gay guys in Toronto talking about "wanting a white man." Now of course,

not all Asians want a white guy but I met plenty that talked about to me.


This is the reason why I like the LESBIAN COMMUNITY because LESBIANS DISCUSS RACISM. Lesbians will have serious discussions about RACISM and they have written A LOT about it.

For example, the lesbian writer Adrienne Rich has written about sexual racism in the gay male community in her piece "Compulsory Heterosexuality & Lesbian Existence." Other lesbian writers such as Dionne Brand have written about sexual racism too.

For some reason gay men have this allegic reaction to discussing RACE.



I personally would NOT date a white gay man but that is due to my strong political beliefs and values. I am a black gay man and I want to to have a serious relationship one day with another man of colour. I honestly don't believe white gay men "really" understand "race" issues. Maybe it is due to their white male skin privilege. I don't want to date someone and act like i am going through a race 101 seminar. That's just my personal opinion.

But the funny thing is, in Toronto, talk to any gay man of colour and the white guys definitely are interested in men of colour. However, a lot of white guys I've met have RACIST misconceptions about black gay male sexuality.

For instance, if I go on gay.com, Adam4Adam.com I will get messages from white men looking for:

1. big black dicks

2. Looking for a top.

3. Looking for a stereotypical thug.

It is annoying, racist, and totally stereotyping. This is what I don't like.

Now will I go to a bathhouse and receive a blow job from a white guy? I get horny too. If I am at a bathhouse I will have sex with a good looking man of any race because it is just sex. But in terms of something serious such as a relationship I prefer to date men of colour. I want to date an openly gay black man. I don't want to date a white guy and I certainly don't seek them out that's for sure.

Morrisey, looking at magazines movies and books, where I live, in Edmonton, white people are underrepresented. Asians, especially south asians are slightly underrepresented. And black people are completely overrepresented. But I don't assume it is all part of a vast conspiracy with racist foundations, because I know that magazines, movies and books are not published just to be representative of Edmonton. They reach other markets. You live in the Most Multucultural City in the World™ according to pop culture trivia, and naturally publications intended for a wide audience will not reflect your reality in such a multi-ethnic city.

As for your No White Men Policy™ (but stranger blowjobs okay tee hee hee ), own your own racism, and admit that there are some white men out there who are better informed and have more useful things to say on the subject of racism than you. And open your eyes, like I do, to notice the attractive qualities in men of any background. Good grief.

 

[dhchitown1984]

Its weird that I'm reading this post now... because it as brought up amongst some of my white friends. I'm a white guy living in Chicago. Our city is rather diverse... plenty of people from every background. Personally, I find myself most sexually attracted to white and black men. My last three boyfriends were black guys. I was asked why that was, and it was simple... they caught my attention, we started talking, a few dates go by, and there you go.

I've found that no matter what race, ethnicity, background, what-have-you that people come from, I find very attractive men within all of them, but generally speaking, I find more black men and white men I find visually attractive.

Don't get me wrong... for a relationship, it's a lot more about the visual appeal. We all look for that deeper connection. I've dated white, black, asian, and hispanic men before. (And one of the three black men fit the stereotypical porn portrayal of a thug, and the hispanic guy wasn't the stereotypical papi). I think it's just a matter of being open to the possibility that something is there.

I'm not trying to look like I'm nailed on a cross here, I'm just saying I think it's odd that as gay men we are subjected to so much segregation from the straight community and yet many encourage it within our own.

 

[yourally]

Ohh this is good. Keep the opinions coming. Love it.

 

[cinnamontea]

easy answer: its racism...hands down no if ands or buts.

its one of those things were they say to you..."well I don't date ANY blacks...ONLY whites but when i was growing up a black woman was my maid though"...thats what I think about.

ESPECIALLY when they proced to tell me they have a black or blacks as their friends...OMG in my head i'm like dude your racist just accept it.

I am a type of person where I am not attracted to orientals at all....it really has to be a certain type for me...the young hip hop muscled asian types....but just because I'm not attracted to them would I put on my dating profile NO ASIANS! or w/e...no cause truth is if a guy was what I was looking for and happened to be oriental I wouldn't exclude him.

so to me i don't care what explination it is I look at it as racism...which is actually very accepted in the gay community i have found...and labeled as something else

it's not as simple as racism. some people have a specific types that they are attracted to, but they functio nand interact with everyone normally with no hate.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

Ummm did u not see when i said IF I MET THE RIGHT GUY WHO WAS OF "ASIAN DECENT" I WOULDN'T DISREGARD THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ASIAN.....

These guys WOULD NOT consider the right guy if they were anything other than white....so no...i'm not racist..

......I caught your little tadbit....however it still doesn't make up for the fac that you are oversimplifying...Sexually attraction cannot be boiled down to race alone(even though the influence is there)..The matter is people find some people to be attractive and others not so...Even if they say so now..it doesn't mean it will always be the same forever...case in point you!

 

[fetaby]

Apart from the race issues, this always bothered me (I'm sorry it's going off topic). I really don't consider myself part of any gay community. Just because you're gay you're automatically a part of "the" gay community? What gay community and where is it? I've never seen the gay community that I'm supposedly a part of.

Locally I'm sure there is probably something somewhere related to some issue or kink support group, but I'm not part of it, and my friends really don't consider themselves part of one either. I've talked to them about it in conversations and they don't go to gay events, they don't do gay bars/clubs, there's no meetings we go to or events either. So what gay community are we all a part of?

Alright...

It's not so much a community based on location, or kink affiliation

It is a community with one shared trait. That trait has at one point frustrated, been used to discriminate, or conversely uplifted you and your friends. So yes, you are part of the gay community just because you are gay.

If you want to enrich your local and personal gay community the impetus is upon you.

 

[Spiffy]

I'm Hispanic and with tan skin, and if there's anything i prefer... its a good looking white guy. What I mean by white is just someone with light skin really, it doesn't matter if they're American, European, Australian or Colombian. I just prefer light skin over most any other tone. That doesn't mean I'm turned off by darker toned people, just that I prefer your typical run of the mill white boy. I'm really into foreign light skinned lads, from Europe or south America; idk why - there's just something really sexy about them ha

I'm still definitely attracted to a lot of different people whether it be asian, black or Indian... race doesn't really bother me as long as they look good in my eyes/ i'm attracted to them.

It has nothing to do with what others think or how it makes me feel about my image. its just more of a turn on for me just like someone would like bigger or smaller body assets.

 

[julien]

I also agree, oriental is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

Not all would be citizens.......Broad terms on a board like this are bound to used. Being PC can negate from delivering effective advice.

 

[julien]

I'm Hispanic and with tan skin, and if there's anything i prefer... its a good looking white guy. What I mean by white is just someone with light skin really, it doesn't matter if they're American, European, Australian or Colombian. I just prefer light skin over most any other tone. That doesn't mean I'm turned off by darker toned people, just that I prefer your typical run of the mill white boy. I'm really into foreign light skinned lads, from Europe or south America; idk why - there's just something really sexy about them ha

I'm still definitely attracted to a lot of different people whether it be asian, black or Indian... race doesn't really bother me as long as they look good in my eyes/ i'm attracted to them.

It has nothing to do with what others think or how it makes me feel about my image. its just more of a turn on for me just like someone would like bigger or smaller body assets.

Do get annoyed when guys say u hate yourself cos u like light guys, and ur dark?


I agree with what u say. I like white guys cos they tend to be tall thin and dress Indi3. Having said that Im attracted to any guy that meets that profile regardless of nationality. Or they just gotto have that something about 'em.

 

[tonyboy]

This may be a bit of a rant on my behalf.

As someone of mixed background (I am half indian and half white) people can never tell my ethnicity.

When people say they are only attracted to white guys, it confused me, on one hand they play it off as if its not stereotypical, not being judgemental, and its not racist. (I for one thing it is, and its not just a preference but anyways)

Secondly where does that leave mixed races and also there surely can't be something inherent in all coloured people that is so unnattractive. Can there not be exceptions and so on.

The same goes with any feature not just skin colour.

Sorry I just had to get it off my chest.

That was a very interesting post my friend..
I cannot exactly answer your question though.

I've got too good friends that are black.. for whatever reason they seem to be more attracted to white guys..
I've got three friends from Vietname that I write to.. they also seem to be attracted to white guys..

I suppose it's just something that is cultrual or sexual.. I don't know..
From my POV though.. to me it doesn't much matter... if the guy is a fine guy, and you get along... have shared interests.. and find each other attractive...
well I say who gives a damn about color or race or heritage.
I find Asian guys very sexy, guys from India are too... so are guys from New York, white guys, blond guys, dark haired guys..
Well not sure sure about bald guys though.

Could be there is some racisim involved, but I tend to not think so. I think it's just physical preference.. And usually that is among younger guys..
Hell, I once only wanted to have sex with blond sufrer types, then I started to like guys with dark hair.. then, well I could go on and on..
but that was just because I was young and had certain 'type' in my mind..
Im wise now... and I cannot think of any race nor ethnicity that I'd find unattractive... as long as the guy and I had mutual interests, liked the same things, shared the same love of books, music, the mountains, camping, hiking, food, and just got along as friends... then as lovers..

I've written to guys from all over the world via skype, jub, im... hell there are so many great guys on this planet.
I'd be more worried about them accepting me than me accepting them.

I've been lucky enough to meet guys from all over the world (I mean meet in writing) and many of them share pics with me..
Nigeria, Ireland, Bulgaria, Russia, all over the USA, Mexico, England, South Africa, all over..
There are damned fine gay guys all over this planet.. I don't care their race nor the color of their skin..
Just being compatiable is the main thing.
Sorry this was so long a message.

 

[jdoe4822]

It really does boil down to taste. While in some cases there may be some sort of latent either racism or self hatred, we all find different things attractive. I'm a white/hispanic mix, probably look Italian. I'm attracted to similar guys looking guys as far as skin tone goes, white or light toned (tan allright) skinned hispanics, as well as some native americans and people of arabic descent. For friends, I could care less what your skin tone is; don't even notice. But for dating, relationship, or anything sexual (because that would obviously be a component of the first two), the above preferences apply. I also prefer cut dicks, probably because that's what I'm used to. Uncut feels kinda weird in my hand or mouth, although I wouldn't call it a deal breaker.