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only hit on guys at gay bars....

yuengling

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Alright so I went out to one of the better music venues in my town. Its not a total dive and its an indie rock kind of bar. A guy who I have only met once before started touching me and did so throughout the night,(throwing his arm around my neck, and what not). on top of this he grabbed my hand and are fingers were interwoven and he locked eyes with me several times, and did continued doing alot of this stuff throughout the night. on top of that he noticed that we were wearing similar shirts and ran his finger across the front of my chest.
by the end of the night I finally asked him, "so are you gay?"
response "oh no no,,,..." and then asked me "Are you?" I told him I was bi, because he knows my friends and I'm not fully out.
On top of all the signs I thought he was sending me, he was at the bar with two girls he was not dating.
Am I crazy or was I sent a totally mixed signal. I feel like I was setup in a sense. 90% of my friends are straight and I mostly hang out with straight folks and I've never met a guy who was so physical, especially when you factor in I've only met him once before. he wasn't acting extremely drunk or anything.
I don't know what to make of this interaction?... because what straight guy would do this? and now I'm uneasy about him telling folks because I don't want to be known for hitting on straight guys...

when I'm at straight bars I've experienced other gay guys touching guys on the chest as sort of a test to see how they react to see whether or not they are gay.
At first they'll touch ya a little bit or get close to see if you get uncomfortable or scowl at them and if you don't they move in and continue talking to you.

I don't feel like I was reading the signals this particular person was sending.
Did I miss something, any ideas would be helpful?
I thought this guy's actions were over the top and an open invitation..
that being said go to a gay bar, where the translation is a hell of lot more clearer.
 
I'd have to say that either someone told him to do that or that he was hitting on you and just didnt want to admit it. Since you told him you were bi next time he sees you he will probably do it again or try to take it further. I've seen striaght guys kind of flirt but not to that extent by holding your hand especially if he didnt know if you were gay or not. Trust me your not reading the signs wrong hes jusst not admiting what he wants.
 
How drunk was he?


Some guys get very touchy-feely...and it does not mean too much (sometimes)
 
^ I echo the question of sobriety. But I do wonder... the interlocking the fingers is usually a pretty clear sign.
 
Yeah, drunk, closet case. I used to pull that crap, back when I was young and stupid and in the closet.

I also freaked if anyone took it seriously.

Even if he was interested, if he's not comfortable with himself lusting after a guy, you're not gonna get anywhere.

Life is too short to spend it navigating other people's issues.
 
yeah that's the weird part, I don't remember him having that many beers or even drinking. His actions seemed pretty over the top. since we were in a straight bar I was eventually going to start pushing him off cause I thought it was too much in that environment.

I'm a little uneasy cause I'm not out to most friends and he knows some of my friends. eventually I am going to be more open about who I am but I'm still figuring all this stuff out and would like some privacy til I'm more comfortable.
 
Come on man. He's either gay or bi. All those clues are just too much to be just a coincidence.

He just doesn't want to admit it because he's not out and that's understandable.

There was a guy at this straight bar who started a conversation with me. Him and his female friend wanted a cigarette from me and he got into a convo. I thought the girl was his girlfriend but he told me she wasn't and he got into a conversation with me about where he lives, goes to school, etc.. He was a male nurse. Immediately I thought he must be gay because

A. He's showing too much interest in me.

B. The girl was "just a friend".

C. Male nurse is not typically a job straight guys get.


I may be wrong but when you're thrown so many clues you start to wonder and if you have to wonder usually your instinct is right.
 
he was there with one or two girls who were his freind, which is the other thing that made me think and plus we was wearing a tight red wrangler cowboy shirt. I used to have a shirt that looked similar to this guys and I stopped wearing it to bars becuase I got hit on by guys so much in it.
 
So I don't get what you're concerned about...

Do you like this guy? Or are just unsure of his actions?
 
I'm unsure about his actions and utterly frustrated because I think I keep reading people wrong. I'd date him if he was gay but I don't even know if he is gay.
I was curious what everyone else's input on this was and if I was mistaken about the signals he was seeming to send me...?
 
For starters you aren't going to get anywhere if you are closetted. Unless you are out to your friends and they know and he knows otherwise it's just going to be more "unsure" encounters.

Next time you are around him, make the same type of moves he was and see how he responds.

We don't know the context of his actions or the conversations you may have been having. Do you have his phone number, give him a text or something. Maybe you can do some text flirting to test the waters.
 
He didn't seem all that drunk and there was a rock band playing not anything like a x-dance club. also, I am fairly certain that he works at a hair salon for women.....
 
How drunk was he?


Some guys get very touchy-feely...and it does not mean too much (sometimes)
True.
I'm 100% gay but when I've been drinking I get really touchy feely with my female friends. They like it because it's funny but I get very...flirtatious. Last time I remember doing it I encouraged all my female friends to be in just their bras and knickers at a house party and listen to hippy music with me, I took all my clothes off except for my boxers and I was bloody well putting my hands under their bras and squeezing their nipples. God knows why because it does nothing for me. It's just...fun.

I realise how that makes me sound like an absolute rapist because it really is all in good humour. We all understand eachother me and my friends :)
 
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