Out to my best friend

[theironist]

Here's how our convo went on msn.


Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:29:41)i'm going to tell you something-

m a r t a _x says: (22:29:44)lol what

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:29:48)but it's like really private
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:29:54)like seriously

- m a r t a _x says: (22:29:57)hed kandi = gets you in good mood

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:30:04):l


- m a r t a _x says: (22:30:08)dont get all scary ]:

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:30:10)I'm being serious
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:30:23)and if you tell anybody i will kill you
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:30:38)ok?

- m a r t a _x says: (22:30:44):S
- m a r t a _x says: (22:30:48)what is itttt

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:30:51)I'm gay

- m a r t a _x says: (22:31:11)oh cool
- m a r t a _x says: (22:31:13)[:

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:31:15)LOLLLLL
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:31:19)spfhjas;lfhl;kahjlAL;SHFL;SAFJ;LKSDJ;ASLKJF;ASKLJF;ALKFJAL;KSFJ;ALSFJ
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:31:32)'Oh cool'
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:31:36)HAHAHAHAAHAAAAAA
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:31:39)You probably went
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:31:44)'DIOS OMG *FAINT FAINT FAINT*

- m a r t a _x says: (22:31:53)=
- m a r t a _x says: (22:31:54)?

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:32:04)?

- m a r t a _x says: (22:32:04)piers

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:32:07)yes

- m a r t a _x says: (22:32:18)stop that pls
- m a r t a _x says: (22:32:20)not in the mood

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:32:30)what are you talking about?

- m a r t a _x says: (22:33:02)are you being serious then
- m a r t a _x says: (22:33:04)lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:33:08)yes

- m a r t a _x says: (22:33:19)okies

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:33:24)joder, this isn't a joke to me. I;m shaking right now
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:33:53)do you still like me?

- m a r t a _x says: (22:34:00)not really
- m a r t a _x says: (22:34:09)sorry
- m a r t a _x says: (22:34:25)It's bettet if we don't stay in contact with each other anymore

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:34:39)not the best time for joking love

- m a r t a _x says: (22:35:04)I'm not even joking

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:35:10)vale
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:35:23)whatever floats your boat, but i am who I am
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:35:32)sadly

- m a r t a _x says: (22:35:39)very
- m a r t a _x says: (22:36:07)Aaaanyway
- m a r t a _x says: (22:36:11)I have to go to bed

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:36:21)what.
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:36:28)are you fucking kidding me

- m a r t a _x says: (22:36:47)what?
- m a r t a _x says: (22:36:49)lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:37:05)Ok ' i dont like you anymore, going to bed'

- m a r t a _x says: (22:37:25)I'm joking duuuuuuuurhhhhhhh

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:37:28)you know if you are joking say now, because believe it or not, this is actually a very sensitive subject

- m a r t a _x says: (22:37:29)wtfff
- m a r t a _x says: (22:37:50)i know it's sensitive darling
- m a r t a _x says: (22:37:52)haha
- m a r t a _x says: (22:37:55)i know though

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:37:56)It's taken me 5 months to tell you

- m a r t a _x says: (22:38:04)But don't you worry about a thing

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:38:40)Remember, I am still the same person you have always knew, nothing will change

- m a r t a _x says: (22:38:58)You'll find the love of your life easily, now adays all the boys i've met are gay in the end.
- m a r t a _x says: (22:39:10)I seeeee
- m a r t a _x says: (22:39:15)Piers wtf

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:39:39)just joder comfort me! I need to know you are still like there and still my marta!

- m a r t a _x says: (22:39:47)gi have to seriously go to study a bit, i haven't opened my books yet and it¡s nearly 12 here
- m a r t a _x says: (22:40:05)Can you just tell me what's going on lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:40:19)I CAN JUST TELL YOU LIKE THE BIGGEST THING IN MY LIFE NAD YOU SAY YOU HAVE TO STUDY!
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:40:30)AND THINK I AM MESSIGN AROUND?

- m a r t a _x says: (22:40:43)fgssssss, i have an exam, and i wasn't expecting you to just say all that now lol
- m a r t a _x says: (22:40:47)piers
- m a r t a _x says: (22:40:55)give me ur fkin mobile phone

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:40:58)You know what, I shouldn't even get angry, or maybe i shouldn't of told you.

- m a r t a _x says: (22:40:58)one that actually wORKS
- m a r t a _x says: (22:41:07)actually
- m a r t a _x says: (22:41:12)stop this ok
- m a r t a _x says: (22:41:22)I was going to say the same thing last night, the same joke

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:41:44)Yeh but this isn't a joke
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:41:59)it would be nice if you trust me, i never lie to you.

- m a r t a _x says: (22:42:04)And if you're really gay then congrats, to you for telling me lol, i luv you the same way ok

- m a r t a _x says: (22:42:51)So was that why you where close to your sisters gay friend? lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:42:58)ew no

- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:02)Did you hook up with him or something lol?
- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:03)xD

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:43:07)I don't even know him

- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:14)so

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:43:16)but dios

- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:18)you promiscuous
- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:22)boyy

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:43:26):|

- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:32)lol im joking
- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:44)but dios WHAT
- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:47)quick i have to go
- m a r t a _x says: (22:43:52)mums shoutin at me

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:43:58)I can't believe you think i am joking.
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:44:11)hope you have fun with your fucking mum adnd exams.
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:44:22)bye

- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:28)poiers
- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:29)!!
- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:31)wait

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:44:34).

- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:34)give me your mobile
- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:36)pelase
- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:38)quick
- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:40)pleae

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:44:43)i'd rather not talk on the phone
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:44:50)i'm too uncomfortable about it

- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:52)i'd rather talk
- m a r t a _x says: (22:44:56)shut up
- m a r t a _x says: (22:45:15)you're starting to make me upset

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:45:27)oh now you are upset

- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:10)fgsssssssssss
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:12)forget it
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:20)fucking mobile
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:21)dios
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:22)piers
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:24)i'm being serious
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:29)i can't call you
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:37)i'm starting to get really upset ok
- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:39)really

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:46:51)I will call you ok
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:46:52)calm down

- m a r t a _x says: (22:46:53)can you please tell me if it's a joke or if it is not a joke

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:47:02)not a joke

- m a r t a _x says: (22:47:08)you can't be gay
- m a r t a _x says: (22:47:09)lol
- m a r t a _x says: (22:47:20)atleast you dont seem to me
- m a r t a _x says: (22:47:21)owell

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:47:35)seriously are you o
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:47:37)ok*

- m a r t a _x says: (22:48:02)why do oyu have to tell me like now
- m a r t a _x says: (22:48:18)this is so akwardP

iers - Oh deary me. says: (22:48:27)I didn't think youu would be so upset, because it is really something that relates to me

- m a r t a _x says: (22:48:47)I know it relates to you duh
- m a r t a _x says: (22:49:01)But it still afects me as i'm suposed to be your good friend

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:49:05)I don't find it too awkward and i'm the one who told you
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:49:19)'Supposed' !?! wtf

- m a r t a _x says: (22:49:23)or would you rather me just say oh cool you're gay, just like all the other gays
- m a r t a _x says: (22:49:37)wel i don't know
- m a r t a _x says: (22:49:45)to me you're my best friend

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:49:52)and you are my best friend

- m a r t a _x says: (22:50:11)in wich every day, or nearly every day i come up thinking about you for different reasons, and you're always there

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:50:11)so why 'supposed'? why? what has changed apart from that i like boys instead of girls

- m a r t a _x says: (22:50:13)okok

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:50:18)dios now we have more in common

- m a r t a _x says: (22:50:20)lol nothing
- m a r t a _x says: (22:50:26)haha

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:50:38)I now, i am even more there for you.

- m a r t a _x says: (22:50:41)im pmsl soz

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:50:56)it;s ok
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:51:04)Dios, you scared me at the beginning

- m a r t a _x says: (22:51:06)Ok, but it's still weird

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:51:10)i know it is

- m a r t a _x says: (22:51:20)why all of a sudden

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:51:22)do you want me to call you or do you want to sleep over it
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:51:26)well
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:51:34)it would of been sudden whenever i told you

- m a r t a _x says: (22:52:05)piers are you sure though lol
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:52:23)yeh... i have seen girls on the interent... nope, not for me.
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:52:38)I still love gisele bundchen, but not sexually
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:52:44)never have
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:52:50)probably never will
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:53:04)but, you know it's your DNA
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:53:09)it's not my choice
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:53:21)I was born like this

- m a r t a _x says: (22:54:17)I don't know why ok, but you're making me upset and i don't even understand why
- m a r t a _x says: (22:54:18)lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:54:48)you want me to call
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:54:54)i thought you may be upset

- m a r t a _x says: (22:54:56)Seriously, i do not understand why
- m a r t a _x says: (22:54:59)no

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:55:04)ok
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:55:13)you don't understand why i'm gay?
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:55:20)neither do I
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:55:29)so imagine how confused i am!

- m a r t a _x says: (22:55:43)it's not that i dont understand youre gay
- m a r t a _x says: (22:57:01)it's that it's really making me upset and i don't even know why lol, becuase it's something that only affects you not me, but i think its because i've known you for so long, aspent so much time together never really thought so, but i still don't understand why i am so upset lol, i mean it's about you,
- m a r t a _x says: (22:57:34)If you're joking to me, i just want to tell that it's not funny, and i won't speak to you in a long time if you don't stop this joke, seriously

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:57:54)Marta, once again i'm not joking
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:58:02)I knwo it can be difficult to belie
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:58:04)*believe
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:58:41)are you crying? It's ok if you are,
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:58:50)For some reason i'm not even upset
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (22:59:02)I think because i know you are always there

- m a r t a _x says: (22:59:03)lol why would i cry no
- m a r t a _x says: (22:59:53)but i'm really uncomfortable, not with that fact that you're gay, but this is so akward

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:00:01)lol
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:00:15)Now i can't stop laughing.. dios why

- m a r t a _x says: (23:00:31)piers have you made out with any girls in florida or anything? like i've had my stuff with boys down here and so i know im not lesbian and stuff

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:00:46)Yeh i have made out with girls
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:00:55)i feel nothing
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:01:04)i would rather make out with wood...

- m a r t a _x says: (23:01:38)I mean like do other stuff..not kiss lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:01:49)no, never

- m a r t a _x says: (23:01:49)not sex lol

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:01:57)well no

- m a r t a _x says: (23:02:05)well

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:02:16)but marta, i don't need to d taht to know

- m a r t a _x says: (23:02:49)well why were you so mean to ben about all the stuff related to him being gay
- m a r t a _x says: (23:02:55)when he's probably not even gay

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:03:03)I didn't know i was gay then
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:03:33)And maybe in my subconscious i knew, and maybe i was protecting myself
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:04:05)Why do you think i got so upset when people called me gay in school? Because i was scare dthey would find out, and i didn't understand it myself

- m a r t a _x says: (23:05:18)why do you have to tell me now though lol
- m a r t a _x says: (23:05:22)at night

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:05:31)you can think about it clearly at night
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:05:44)and in the morning when you wake up, your head iwll be clear

- m a r t a _x says: (23:05:44)it's not the time i have to go and now it's not like i'm not going o be able to sleep
- m a r t a _x says: (23:05:51)but it's still going to be there in my head
- m a r t a _x says: (23:05:53)and i hate that

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:05:58)I wont be able to sleep either tonight

- m a r t a _x says: (23:06:16)yes, but you haven't got exams or school
- m a r t a _x says: (23:06:25)i don't care about them really
- m a r t a _x says: (23:06:30)but still

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:06:31)I have work... lol

- m a r t a _x says: (23:07:04)does your family know?

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:07:09)dios no
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:07:20)don't tell anyone
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:07:28)I don't want to tell them

- m a r t a _x says: (23:08:02)why would i tell them-
m a r t a _x says: (23:08:04)no

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:08:17)well not even your friends or anything

- m a r t a _x says: (23:08:18)i'm sure its a weird phase you're going through

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:08:24)DIOS MARTA
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:08:26)HAHA
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:08:35)Somebody told me you would say that

- m a r t a _x says: (23:08:37)although normally boys don't even joke about this
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:08:41)believe me... it's not a phase
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:08:56)I have known for 3-4 years but i denied it

- m a r t a _x says: (23:09:35)but you've always liked aida joder or diana

Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:09:49)Did i really?
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:09:57)I liked them because everybody else did
Piers - Oh deary me. says: (23:10:11)i had too

- m a r t a _x says: (23:10:45)I thought you weren't like that

Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:10:58)what, that I didn't follow people
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:10:59)?

- m a r t a _x says: (23:11:12)yes

Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:11:22)I'm not, but with situations like this, i had to pretend i liked them so they wouldn't know
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:11:51)In every other aspect of my life, i am not a follower

- m a r t a _x says: (23:11:51)ok
- m a r t a _x says: (23:12:14)yeh i know
- m a r t a _x says: (23:12:16)ok
- m a r t a _x says: (23:12:22)i'm going to go off
- m a r t a _x says: (23:12:40)and i'll try not to think about it a lot,

Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:12:42)erm... ok
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:12:58)but don't worry
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:13:16)i just want you to think about it for a bit... come back an tell me tomorrow what you think

- m a r t a _x says: (23:14:00)hopefulyl everything will be the same
- m a r t a _x says: (23:14:03)byee xox

Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:14:37)Don't say hopefully... because it will be, and you shouldn't even have to worry about that
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:14:43)goodnight
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:14:47)i love you ok?

- m a r t a _x says: (23:15:21)kk dw
- m a r t a _x says: (23:15:25)love youuu
- m a r t a _x says: (23:15:26)byebye
- m a r t a _x says: (23:15:28)xoxox
Piers - It will get easier (L) says: (23:15:31)xxx






So there you go, she was in disbelief for a while.. lol

 

[Soilwork]

Dear Diary;

I learned a few things today.

People are incapable of talking face to face about anyting anymore. The more serious the subject, the less likely an actual conversaion is to take place.

People are self-absorbed.

Straight girls can say the STUPIDEST things.

 

[trawler69]

Wow that was rather messy but at least it seemed to turn out ok in the end. I am not averse to using technology in the coming out process if it helps achieve something that might otherwise not be achieved. It is not my personal choice and I have always come out face to face.

Anyhow well done and I hope it all ends up ok

 

[G-Lexington]

Yeah, IM doesn't seem to be the best place for this sort of thing. E-mail would even be better. But glad it seems to have worked out OK.

Lex

 

[puka-pride]

ok that was painful i couldn't read all of it lol


str8 girls are dumb..... i had the same reaction from one of my best friends but i told her in person... she didn't beleive me... then saidshe beleived me... but she then "forgot" i told her

but whatever...

 

[garion]

i wonder if she is/was interested in you, hence the initial shock and denial?

 

[bcwang]

This suprised me. Most of the time straight girls especailly your good friends are the easiest to accept.

 

[luckotheirish]

This suprised me. Most of the time straight girls especailly your good friends are the easiest to accept.

Except if they're in love with you.

A girl who was one of my two best friends at the time had wanted me to be more than her friend. She told me that if there was no chance of us being together that she couldn't settle for just being my friend. Even though I was careful never to lead her on or give her the impression that I liked her like that (which she conceded was true), she said she just couldn't look at me without being hurt. I really didn't see that one coming....

 

[theironist]

I seriously question the strength of this friendship. You should too.

No, If anything now we are closer

 

[rareboy]

One can only look forward to the day when they publish text message interactions such as this to join the works of the great diarists and letter writers. I found that the words and articulation of emotions moved me profoundly.... I have no idea why people are concerned about the quality of education and literacy or the emerging norms for socialization skills among children.

Read it aloud and just imagine how this exchange would have sounded if people were face to face.

Two phrases stand out. " i feel nothing" and " i don't care about them really"

 

[Riverrick]

Well, I found it interesting.

You took her by surprise obviously. She kept questioning if it was a joke because she didn't want to get all serious about it and then have you go haha! I understand her doing that. You did spring it on her.

I too wonder if she was upset because she has deeper feelings for you. It would make sense that some part of her was hoping for more in your relationship.

IM is very awkward for this sort of thing. Very unemotional, very hard to read the other person's reaction and for them to read yours. But the interesting thing about it is that it saves a log of the entire conversation. Which sort of reads like dialogue in a novel.

Anyhow, keep in contact with her. Talk to her on the phone. You guys need that. And get together in person if you can.

 

[luminum]

Sweetheart, internet conversations are the WORST means for communicating conversatiosn of importance. There is absolutely no registry of emotions and reactions. See how confused the two of you got? It's stuff like that. You should have talked to her on the phone. I know you feel uncomfortable about it, but it would have saved you guys a huge amoutn of frustration and confusion.

I told my best friend online, too and he thought I was shitting him and I had to convince him. We later agreed that internet was the worst way to do it.

But I'm glad things turned out well...sort of.

 

[theironist]

Everything has turned out well, it's as if nothing has chanegd between us.
I actually think you are right in that she may of liked me more than a friend, she said to me; "It's funny because i always imagined us still being good friends when you have a wie and I a husband", the way she said it was as if she liked me...
hmm
Thanks for the feedback

 

[MindBlast]

And this is why I haven't got very many female friends. I just can't relate to them.

Anyway, that was really hard to read, but I read it anyway. You probably should have done that in person. You didn't know she had exams did you? If you did you should have waited until the next day.