So I came out in April 2005, almost three years ago. The first year, I was very active (not sexually) in meeting a lot of different people, going to a lot of different places around Vancouver, and doing a lot of stuff. That first year, I also met my ex-BF; that was a five-month relationship, ending horribly because he cheated repeatedly. What was worse though, was that he realized that I was the “one” and would thus continuously, up to this day, bug me. I do not like him pre-consciously, because as far as I am able to confirm with myself, I honestly do not.
But since then, I’ve developed a very strong moral center. I am totally opposed to meeting guys on the Internet, sleeping around, and so on. But the problem is that most of my gay friends are coupled so I do not have much of an opportunity to meet new guys because we do very low-key things when we hang out each week. I don’t always care so much about my relationship status, and sometimes I am totally comfortable being alone. But because I haven’t dated anybody, or have had any sexual contact for over a year, I am getting a bit, desperate. I am constantly wondering where that guy is, and it puts me in a horrible mood.
I work full time, and am trying to complete my degree during the night, and I volunteer at various places, including a gay organization. So obviously, I would not have much time for a relationship anyway. To make it worse, I am quite sure the first thing I am doing when I graduate, is to hop on a plane and go somewhere else, where the world actually happens. But that would be at least a year down the road. I am slowly learning that my guy is not in this city.
How do I cope with this increasing discontent from being chronically single. Do I have to alter my moral stance to be more gay-appropriate? How do I meet guys who have intelligence and are not cheaters?
But since then, I’ve developed a very strong moral center. I am totally opposed to meeting guys on the Internet, sleeping around, and so on. But the problem is that most of my gay friends are coupled so I do not have much of an opportunity to meet new guys because we do very low-key things when we hang out each week. I don’t always care so much about my relationship status, and sometimes I am totally comfortable being alone. But because I haven’t dated anybody, or have had any sexual contact for over a year, I am getting a bit, desperate. I am constantly wondering where that guy is, and it puts me in a horrible mood.
I work full time, and am trying to complete my degree during the night, and I volunteer at various places, including a gay organization. So obviously, I would not have much time for a relationship anyway. To make it worse, I am quite sure the first thing I am doing when I graduate, is to hop on a plane and go somewhere else, where the world actually happens. But that would be at least a year down the road. I am slowly learning that my guy is not in this city.
How do I cope with this increasing discontent from being chronically single. Do I have to alter my moral stance to be more gay-appropriate? How do I meet guys who have intelligence and are not cheaters?
Start chatting. Get to know people. There are some great guys here, many of of whom think as you do.
