Pissed of with a girl and venting my anger lol

[jamietxx2]

Hey guys thought id post this is this section considering it is straight/buy guys.

I have liked this girl for aggess she is absouletly stunning and for a while now shes been very close to me txting me loads in a day, grabbing my hands and putting it on her waist, telling me im rely attractive, flirting with me. All my friends have been telling me shes clearly into me which has made me feel so good cus i have liked her for way to long but she split with her ex about 4 months ago (Know her for 3 years now). Well i asked her out for a drink last nite thru txt and she txt back saying thanks for asking me for the drink ile tlk 2 u abt it 2morow. So theres me all happy went to talk 2 her 2day and she said did u mean it like in a date way and i said erm yeah kinda and she told me that "Im such a good guy whos extremely attractive" but she has got with her friend before and it went weird and she dusnt want things 2 be weird! I felt so gutted because im not the kinda guy who wud make a move without intention been there and she has done so many things to make me wana ask her out. Just b4 i asked her abt the drink 2nite she told me tht she thinks the guy shud make the move and ask a girl out... why randomly bring that up?? She also sed the other nite that i have all the qualities she would look for in a bf....

Im just so angry, upset and confused atm because it felt like she lead me on to let me down which really makes me feel like im a dickhead..

All my friends told me that i should make a move because she clearly liked me and even one of her friends said that i should. Also wen i was about to leave the bar we were all at 2nite i sed bye 2 her and hugged her and sed i hope things wernt weird and she grabbed my hand and sed that i hope i understood and when i left she was staring at me thru the window..

So confusing..

Sorry for the rant.. needed to let it out lol!

 

[pokergay]

It's called "playing hard-to-get"

 

[sentirpromesas]

my homegurlz do that all the time to boys...like pokergay said, she is playing hard to get. She wants to feel wanted so she denies you knowing all too well that you will keep trying to woo her...If you don't like the dating game then I say you dump her sorry ass and find yourself a sexy boy to make the blue balls go away...if you like to play the game, then flirt with girls while you two are "hanging out" and watch how clingy she will become

 

[Ninjitsu]

She may be a bit conflicted about going into a relationship. If you're describing it right, it sounds like she's more than just being girly-friendly with you (I have a friend who hugs and kisses everybody). I'm not sure if it's a bonafied case of purposefully being hard to get. She could be doing it on purpose, or she could be doing it unintentionally.

It's tough to say without her input, but it sounds like she's afraid. That clue she gave you about hooking up with a friend could be exactly what she's worried about -- if anything at all.

That said, she's giving you all the signals. Consider it a test. If you're serious about pursuing her, you need to take the reigns with much more confidence. If you ask her out on an "outing" (you don't have to tell her it's a date-date to ease her anxiety), be assertive, be strong, confident, and don't take no for an answer.

You: "So what movie do you want to see tonight?"

Her: "What? Are you asking me out?"

You: "That wasn't the question. What movie do you wanna see? And don't say Beverly Hills Chihuahua! I'm thinking Quarantine."

Her: "But I like Chihuahuas!"

You: "Fine. Chihuahua it is. Let me check the movie times real quick so I can tell you when I'm picking you up."

Her: ". . . . Okay!"

Something like that. Don't give her an opportunity to back out of the date. If she really doesn't want to do it, she'll say no. But if she does, and usually plays hard to get, this will keep her from pulling those punches.

I'm sure you can figure things out. Just be sure to be assertive and confident. Pay attention to her, and when she's really into you, that might be your opportunity to seal the deal with a smooch. And you never know where the night may lead.

 

[slnattak]

If you're a straight guy that feels more comfortable being the passive one in the relationship, instead of going against your natural self (the only reason why these losers want you to be more confident is because it will turn themselves on =p) why not try meeting women in a professional setting that actually don't mind being dominant?

My (mostly) straight dad was able to get married this way. But if you just want to fuck girls then yeah, it pays to be aggressive no matter who you are.

Look you can learn how to be more confident, sure. But if you're naturally boyish and not an 'alpha male' there is no sense in trying to be somebody you are not. If you're making all the right moves and she still doesn't seem that interested, why is this somebody you want to keep pursuing? When you really want to get to know somebody (or simply to fuck them) it really shouldn't be this difficult. It doesn't sound like you two are that compatible to me to be honest.

You could also try a more mellow college girl that wants a more equal energy relationship, or a more aggressive, career-orientated woman that truly doesn't mind being on top.

So you're confident and she likes that it and agrees to go but you still don't like each other. What then? I'm just not sure we're being realistic here. I dunno.

 

[PhoenixRandall]

You clearly need to grow up - get some maturity under your belt then re-read this post.

THe answer will be painfully clear.

 

[Ninjitsu]

So, they're just broads to you, eh?

 

[jamietxx2]

Thanks for your advice guys.. much appreciated

Pheonix.. at your comment.. i don't have to grow up you do not know anything about my maturity and to be honest if the post was that "immature" you didnt have to read and reply. Asking for advice isnt immature, replying on peoples questions and then insulting them is!

 

[Ninjitsu]

If you're a straight guy that feels more comfortable being the passive one in the relationship, instead of going against your natural self (the only reason why these losers want you to be more confident is because it will turn themselves on =p) why not try meeting women in a professional setting that actually don't mind being dominant?

I just want to say that just because someone initially lacks confidence, it doesn't mean they're meant to be submissive. There are several factors that develop confidence -- first and foremost is self-esteem. This is essential for any kind of relationship to work. You can't love someone else before you love yourself.

Another factor is simply being given a challenge. Do you want her? Do you deserve her? If yes, then go get her. Sometimes, it's through a challenge that you learn a bit more about yourself and what you're capable of.

When I was younger, I was a lot more passive. But through my experiences, I learned that I was capable of standing on my own two feet and getting exactly what I think I deserve. Every man benefits by feeding their dominant side. No, I'm not saying that you need to go out there with a club and start bashing females over the head and take them back to the cave, but being in touch with that dominant side isn't a bad thing and most certainly doesn't not mean you're pretending to be someone you're not... This builds confidence, which ultimately builds self-esteem, which in turn builds more confidence. It's a wonderful cycle.

But there is a point here. She seems to be the submissive type. And if you want her, you're going to need to shift from being passive and into a more dominant role. It may or may not go against your true character, but you'll never truly know until you see how it feels.

 

[Ninjitsu]

Well, as long as they aren't all "just broads" to you. In this post, this girl may not be "just another broad" to Jamie, here (I could be wrong, though...) Just be safe and up front, and have fun.

 

[Ninjitsu]

With all due respect, there are some of us who enjoy one or two long relationships over a bunch of short ones. There's something to be said about waiting for and fighting for the quality of the merchandise rather than the quantity.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Meh. I think you're in the friend zone.

I had a friend in a similar situation - girl all over him, and I mean ALL over him, but when push came to shove she was really not interested in pursuing anything other than friendship.

It fucked him up something chronic, but if she was actually playing hard to get someone forgot to tell her to give in at some stage.

Either way, they don't talk any more.

I think if she was playing hard to get, she'd find other reasons than "I just want to be friends." She'd say things like "I think I'm enjoying being single" or "I lilke not having to answer to some guy" or "I like to make all the decisions myself" and wait for you to give her reasons why she should go out with you. That whole "but we're friends" thing really means she isn't interested, in my (limited) experience.

-d-

 

[jamietxx2]

Just to let you know, last night she ended up apologising for not taking me up on my drink offer and asked if we could do it this week. After that we ended up walking bak too hers and then we kissed and i ended up sleeping over at hers... she told me thats all I would be doing because she likes to wait a bit which i thort was really cool

really quite happy atm !!