Few days ago my best friend and I went to an amusement park with few other friends. We took a van so the 8 of us were able to go. At the end of the day, after a good day of riding rollercoasters and bonding with each other we had to say goodbye to the theme park an we were on they way home.
It was on the way home where my high school best friend and I had our first sexual experience. Even with the roomy van we had, the eighth person had to squeeze, so we were pretty jumbled up together.
I was sitting next to him and my arm had no place to be set, so I wrapped it around his neck and let it hang there. We were on a level that friendly physical contact was nothing but acts of friendship, so he was fine with something so minor as this. With how my arm was placed I realize my hand was placed right at where his pecs were--just around his nipple area. Everyone in the van was already tired and asleep except for the driver, I was so tempted. He and I were just skipping through pictures on my digital camera and occasionally laughing at something silly we saw. I figured it was the perfect time to make a move. I began patting his chest, just acting playfully-- nothing too serious yet. We laughed at more pictures, his head now was comfortably rested on my arm and he was leaning towards me to help me get a better look at the pictures. My patting turned into rubbing. I made circular strokes with my index finger--I was looking for his nipple. I couldn't concentrate on the pictures anymore so I made the excuse that I was dizzy and shifted my eyes to the road. He didn't react to my hand, but I still wasn't sure he was okay with it. I whispered to him, "do you want me to move my arm?" he shook his head. I was a little relieved, but I still couldn't find his nipple. I asked him if my hand was okay where it was and he only replied with an "I don't care." few more seconds of rubbing I finally found my target. I gave it a few rubbing motions with my fingers before I began to pinch it softly.
It got hard, and it was easier for me to rub. He didn't give any negative response and he didn't ask me to move. I took my other hand and started to rub his other nipple. I was so aroused doing this--of course I couldn't stop. I looked at him, and I asked him if he wanted me to stop, but he had "fallen asleep," he looked at me and asked me, "stop what?"
I wasn't sure, but it seemed like he was fake-sleeping just to avoid the whole situation itself or maybe he didn't want me to stop and didn't want me to know about it. I couldn't tell.
I'm confused, and I can't help but feel weird and guilty about it. A little help? What should I do?
It was on the way home where my high school best friend and I had our first sexual experience. Even with the roomy van we had, the eighth person had to squeeze, so we were pretty jumbled up together.
I was sitting next to him and my arm had no place to be set, so I wrapped it around his neck and let it hang there. We were on a level that friendly physical contact was nothing but acts of friendship, so he was fine with something so minor as this. With how my arm was placed I realize my hand was placed right at where his pecs were--just around his nipple area. Everyone in the van was already tired and asleep except for the driver, I was so tempted. He and I were just skipping through pictures on my digital camera and occasionally laughing at something silly we saw. I figured it was the perfect time to make a move. I began patting his chest, just acting playfully-- nothing too serious yet. We laughed at more pictures, his head now was comfortably rested on my arm and he was leaning towards me to help me get a better look at the pictures. My patting turned into rubbing. I made circular strokes with my index finger--I was looking for his nipple. I couldn't concentrate on the pictures anymore so I made the excuse that I was dizzy and shifted my eyes to the road. He didn't react to my hand, but I still wasn't sure he was okay with it. I whispered to him, "do you want me to move my arm?" he shook his head. I was a little relieved, but I still couldn't find his nipple. I asked him if my hand was okay where it was and he only replied with an "I don't care." few more seconds of rubbing I finally found my target. I gave it a few rubbing motions with my fingers before I began to pinch it softly.
It got hard, and it was easier for me to rub. He didn't give any negative response and he didn't ask me to move. I took my other hand and started to rub his other nipple. I was so aroused doing this--of course I couldn't stop. I looked at him, and I asked him if he wanted me to stop, but he had "fallen asleep," he looked at me and asked me, "stop what?"
I wasn't sure, but it seemed like he was fake-sleeping just to avoid the whole situation itself or maybe he didn't want me to stop and didn't want me to know about it. I couldn't tell.
I'm confused, and I can't help but feel weird and guilty about it. A little help? What should I do?
