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Please Help!! Confusing "straight" Guy!!!

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dandan69

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So I have become VERY good friends with this "straight" guy that is super comfortable with me. He tells me A LOT of things he won't tell other people. He makes dirty gay comments to me a lot, and he like cuddles with me. All my friends seem to think he is gay/bi and I think he might be too, but he also talks about wanting a GF and stuff. He also flirts with other straight female friends of mine, so i'm like okaaay? It honestly makes me a bit jealous, but at the same time he gives me more attention than my friends and my friends are very pretty girls. He treats girls like they are royalty like he is into the romantic stuff. He'll open the door for my friend and close it for her and i'm like ugh! When he flirts with me or like cuddles with me he'll like tell me he doesn't want me to take it the wrong way cuz he is "straight", but then why does he do them? He also caught me looking at his groinal area a few times and he was like "why do you keep looking at my penis? Do you want to see it?" and I just said "No it's ok. I know you wouldn't do it anyways" and he was like "oh your just saying that so you can try and get me to do it". So I finally decided to tell him that he leads me on and that I have a crush on him. He took it very well and said that he still wanted to hang out with me, but for me to tell him what he does wrong. And I told him it's hard for me to do that cuz I obviously like it a little too much, but one of the things is when he lays his head against my shoulder. And I told him just to treat me the same, I just wanted him to know how I felt. So the next day we hang out and he acts TOTALLY normal, but he seems to be even more focused on me than usual when we are with my friends. He was leaning towards me and talking to me like the whole night practically. My friends and everyone went to another room and were talking there, but he didn't say anything about wanting to go with everyone else he just kept talking to me. So then later when we went to my house he tells me to rest my head on his lap and he is like playing with my hair, and then he lays down and i rest my head on his stomach and he like hugs me while doing it. So I'm like ok? it's like I never told him how I felt. He is still continuing to lead me on! But it's weird if I make a move like that first then he usually will say something. Like certain things he says only he can do to me but I can't do them to him. Like he says it's ok for him to grab my chest or touch my nipples but I can't do it to him. He also tells me things like you have a big butt, and I'm like thanks lol. He also tells me he is afraid that if he hangs out with me long enough that he will start being gay, and I'm like no...it's either you are or you aren't. He just confuses the SHIT out of me!! IDK what to do??? PLEASE HELP!!
 
I would ignore what he tells you and make a move based on his actions.

Based on what you've told me I think he is into you. I don't know him as well as you do, but if you gain the courage next time move in and make a move on him.

All I can tell you is that no straight guy I know would let my rest my head on their stomach.

Maybe someone else can offer a more in depth comment on your post, but the next chance you get I would make a move. I see no reason why you shouldn't.

That is if you want something with him. If you arn't intrested don't go along with his games...
 
Oh I definitely want something with him, but out of respect I don't want to make a move on him because he still insists he is straight even though there are WAAAY more signs that he is gay or at least bi.
 
dandan69 said:
Oh I definitely want something with him, but out of respect I don't want to make a move on him because he still insists he is straight even though there are WAAAY more signs that he is gay or at least bi.
Click to expand...

Thats always the question. Is your friendship worth risking over a possible romance?
 
It's really time to back off from this friendship, at least in my opinion. How much time have you wasted being teased and jerking off thinking of him when you might have found guys willing and wanting something more from you? I think you deserve better and more, a lot more.
 
Honestly, I'd just drop the concept of him being straight/gay/bi/whatever and work with his signals. Respond to his comments and touching the same way you would any other guy you're into.

Let's face it. If you were a girl in this situation and he was NOT interested in you romantically or sexually, he would make sure he wasn't sending you the wrong signals. (Unless he's one of those douchebags that just gets a kick out of the attention and enjoys leading people on. But that's another whole topic.)

I'm not saying to jump in with both feet and make him feel awkward. You wouldn't want to do that with an out-and-proud gay man either. Just return the attention to him.

This will hopefully work one of two ways:
A) He'll continue to flirt and something will gradually develop between you two.
B) He'll start associating his flirtatious behavior with your flirtatious responses and back off.

And don't let anyone feed you the "Do you respect your friendship more or less than a potential relationship?" line. Respect is a mutual thing. You've told him what causes you to be confused. If he hasn't adjusted his behavior to facilitate a confusion-free friendship, you can't say you didn't try.

Hope it works out for the best!
 
I've been in a similar situation. I'm almost 100% sure that this guy is straight, though, he's just... different. So he does all that cuddling type stuff, and deep conversations, and he's told me everything he thinks about women and stuff.

Honestly, I just take it as it is. I know there's no chance that there's going to be any sort of relationship (unless he starts it) so I just enjoy the cuddling and the close friendship. Honestly, infatuation will go away eventually, and it's not worth ending a friendship when you can just man up and ignore the feelings you have.
 
There are lots of these guys who are straight yet want the company of and physical affection from guys.

By telling you that he's straight, he's told you that he is not going to be comfortable taking it beyond where it is today.

If you can't enjoy it and accept it for what it is, then you need to put a stop to it.
 
Some post have good advice here.
He is using you and its great for his self esteem rather deliberate or accidental.
Back off in a friendly casual way and see if he pursues, put yourself in the drivers seat and then decide what is and what is not. Get some control of this before you have a problem which likely won't turn out well for you.
 
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