Well, thanks guys for the suggestions... here are some updates.
So, I've decided to give the younger guy a try, so we went on a date for the first time... I didn't thought it was a date, or at least didn't intend it on being a "date", I thought it would be an opportunity to get to know him better. Anyway, it was pleasant, and he was adorable as usual (yes, like a puppy). I ended up staying over at his apartment, and watched a movie in his bed. (We have a lot of mutual friends, and I knew his roommates, so it wasn't really awkward to crash over, more like a sleep-over.) We slept on the same bed. Nothing happened in bed, we cuddled, but no kissing and nothing sexual. I told him that I really do like him, but not sure how I like him, and that I do have a boyfriend long distance. And he responded by saying it's ok, but nothing else, and he went to sleep, and no more cuddling, and he slept with his back facing me.
***Back track a little, this is the second time I slept over. The first time, there were A LOT of cuddling, and we laid in bed and listened to music and talked for hours til 4am. It was really sweet, I have to say.
The next day, he talked to a mutual friend of ours, and he said that he was really confused, and disappointed that I already have a boyfriend, but he definitely likes me, but the ball is in my park and it depends on whether I was to take a move or not.
Well, I would like to see how compatible it would be between us, so I asked him to meet me at school the next day to work on some projects. He was being wishy-washy (his major flaw), and finally decided not to come to school. I was really pissed actually, this is one thing I cannot stand, people being flaky and wishy-washy and indecisive, especially since I brought something to give to him as I promised. So I ended up leaving school too and just didn't give him the thing I was gonna give him.
Well, it was the end of the school semester, and there are several events to celebrate the graduating class, such as graduation and thesis shows and cocktail parties, so these are the only times I saw him. At these events, he would always purposely be next to me, even though he knew a lot of other people. At the cocktail event, he asked me if I'm going to the party that our friends are throwing, and I said yes, we could go together.
I also called him and left a message, asked him if he want to go have dinner with me before we go to a party. No answer!! Again, I was really pissed, especially he was the one who asked me if I wanted to go to the party!! Well, no answer for 3 days. WTF!!
Then, I knew he was looking for a part-time job, any job. And an opportunity came up, and I tried to hook him up with that, and called him again. This time, he got back to me, and apologized saying that he didn't even realize that he had the first message from me couple days ago, and totally forgot that we were gonna go to the party together, and he himself ended up not going either. Well, we spoke on the phone a few days later, and we made plan to meet up on Friday, so I could take him to the coffee shop to see if he likes the place to work at. I also sent him an e-mail to ask if he would like to go see a movie afterward, since I figured the phone is not the best way to get hold of him. Again, NO ANSWER!! This time, I was seriously offended. I mean, WTF?!?! How can he be so forgetful, especially I have talked to him couple times about the job meet-up. I was really angry, and I didn't call him that day (I had the bad feeling that he wouldn't call) we were suppose to meet up, and haven't since. I figured, if he forgot about this, then he might as well forget about the job thing too.
So I was angry, I deleted his phone number so I can't call him, and deleted him from my Facebook so I can't contact him of what-so-ever. The only way would be him trying to contact me, and so far, haven't got anything yet. I don't know if he decided to back out or if he is playing games. I haven't got the opportunity to have a good talk to clarify things, because he never called back or tried to contact me. So I guess this would be it, kind of "forget it and nothing ever happened".
Now, I'm not so angry anymore, more just disappointed, and sad. I also feel guilty, that I had feelings for someone while my boyfriend is away and unaware. But the good thing is that, through this experience I now know how incredibly good of a person my boyfriend is, and that I really should treasure him, and I will. We are going on a trip together in two weeks, and I am really happy to be able to see him again, and by seeing him I will be more assured of my feelings.
Well, thank you for reading. Ranting this out already makes me feel better. I will also talk to our mutual friends, and I think just talking would help me to get over it. Even most of our mutual friends thought me and the younger guy wound't make a good couple together anyway...
So, there. Thanks again for reading the long post, and any opinions and thoughts are appreciated.
