I've fallen into a routine again, it always happens when I get long-term temp assignments. Most days go as follows:
5:57 a.m. - Wake up moments before alarm goes off. Think "Cool, I'm awake before my alarm goes off! I can get up on time, eat breakfast, shower, dress neatly, have a..." Fall immediately back to sleep.
6:00 a.m. - Hit the snooze button. Repeat every nine minutes for as long as it takes to stay awake afterward, sometimes as much as an hour, but usually thirty-six minutes (that's four snoozes... I know math!)
6:36 a.m. - Decide whether or not to take shower. Did I take a shower yesterday? If yes, go back to sleep for two more snoozes; if no, decide if I can skip another day, if my hair isn't too greasy and nothing smells... if so, snooze... otherwise get up out of bed.
6:45 a.m. - Okay, this time I really am getting up.
6:47 a.m. - Heat up the last of yesterday's coffee in the microwave; make fresh pot while nuking.
6:50 a.m. - Pee. Read Vogue. Wish I were thin again.
6:52 a.m. - Turn on computer, glance through emails, wish Daddy would stop sending me religious jokes that aren't funny, check into JUB.
7:00 a.m. - Get fresh cup of coffee and a Sara Lee blueberry bagel. If out of Sara Lee blueberry bagels, get two slices of bread with butter; if out of that, eat a cookie. If there are no portable starches in the house, bitch and moan and go back to the computer and wonder why all the really interesting topics come up on weekday mornings.
7:20 a.m. - If it's a shower day, go take a shower. Wonder whether or not I can get away with not shaving. Either decide that nobody cares how I look, or just quit being a big baby and shave already, it only takes a couple of minutes you pussy!
7:40 a.m. - Emolliate everything with whatever product is designed to go there... hair, face, hands, etc. Comb hair, or forget to comb hair. Put on socks and underpants.
7:45 a.m. - Stare baffled at the clothing. Reminisce about my old job where I could wear gym shorts and sweatshirts if I wanted. Decide that it's not the shirt that's making me look fat, it's the fat that's making me look fat. Realize that I should already be in the car on my way to work by now.
7:55 a.m. - Try to find shoes, watch, glasses, wallet, keys, and cell-phone, none of which are where they ought to be. Pour another cup of coffee, try to find a banana or some fruit to eat in the car, wonder what it is I'm forgetting.
8:00 a.m. - Start the car. Wish I could just teleport to work, maybe then I'd be on time. Pull out of the driveway. Remember what it was I forgot, pull back into the driveway, run up the stairs, run back down the stairs to get my keys that I left in the car, run back up the stairs, try to remember whatever it was that I came back for, find it, get back to the car, wait for the sudden rush of traffic up and down the street before pulling back out of the driveway, and head for work, five minutes late already and I haven't even started.
8:12 a.m. - Thank God that I work ten minutes away from the house. Find a parking space, walk into the office, put my bag in the file cabinet, and start filing.
(It gets a little fuzzy at this point... no day is quite the same anymore at work)
10:00 a.m. - Break time! Coffee and a muffin from Hong's.
(More fuzziness and insanity, too boring to recite... except for the occasional encounter with some really fucked up children's names while I'm filing enrollment forms. This week's winner: Miss Chyna White. Poor thing).
12:00 p.m. - Lunchtime! Back to Hong's (a very nice man and his wife and sister who run the lunch counter in our building's break-room) for the daily special... unless I don't care for the daily special, in which case I always get a turkey sandwich. Chips and a Tazo Zen iced green tea rounds out the meal. If I'm feeling especially cogent, make notes for novel.
(Further tedious insanity. Like today, calling around to all the middle schools asking if they had "newcomer classes." I don't know what "newcomer classes" are, and neither do any of the people I call. It was like making crank phone calls, except it wasn't funny).
2:00 p.m. - Another break! Get a candy bar and another iced tea. I figure I spend at least $10 every day at Hong's.
(Insanity drawing down to a close. The day starts to drag. Will it ever be over?)
4:15 p.m. - Yay! I can go home now!
4:30 p.m. - Actually leave the office, get in the car, drive home.
4:40 p.m. - Come in, call out "I'm home!" Chat with the Grandmother for a few minutes, think about dinner. Log into JUB; realize I just spent several hours sitting at a computer and typing and wonder why I'm still doing it at home. Hit the couch at a dead run; turn on TV; turn off brain.
6:00 p.m. - Start making definite moves toward dinner. Shall we order in? Or maybe attempt to cook something? I frequently will heat a frozen entree and make a quick salad and leave it at that. Mostly it depends on what kind of mood we're in or how energetic we feel.
7:00 p.m. - Dinner in front of the TV with the Grandmother. Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune on Channel 7.
8:00 p.m. - Dr. Phil comes on; I leave the room. Or maybe I'll sit and watch if it looks like someone cute might be on, but mostly people with more problems than me just depress me. Come play on the computer instead.
8:30 p.m. - Take pills. Say Goodnight to the Grandmother. Take off clothes and sit back at the computer. Read a few threads, maybe participate in some discussion, before perusing the porn.
(Censored for lewd content)
9:30 p.m. - Wipe up and roll over; read a book for a while until eyes feel heavy and sticky.
10:00 p.m. - Do a little meditation and prayer to relax myself and open my mind to the cosmos for informative dreams.
10:30 p.m. - Why am I still awake, goddammit!? I have to get up in seven and a half hours and I know perfectly well that I'll be a wreck in the morning if I don't get eight whole hours! Aaaargh!
2:00 a.m. - Wake up, look at the clock, curse freely about waking up all the time in the night, the Advil PM is supposed to keep me knocked out.
4:00 a.m. - Wake up again. Wide awake. I guess it's too early to try to get up. Well maybe I will get up, work on my novel, get a head start on my day, perhaps even exercise, I could even cook my break.....zzzzzzz.