When I am in a gathering of straight friends, gathered for common bond either by hobby, social intent, or other, indecent language and sexually explicit conversation is never allowed. It wasn't in New Mexico, Alaska, Connecticut, or the South. An individual might make a quip or a blue allusion to something explicit, but no explicit talk was ever the norm.
The opposite of that has been true in my gay circles. Because an LGBTQ gathering inherently involves breaking some of society's taboos about same-sex partnering, it is assumed that all other taboos are lifted or at least up for grabs, no pun intended. However, as LGBTQ life becomes more mainstream, I think that early sort of gay bar ethos is being challenged and is receding. If gays are to be seen as equals in the broader society with straights, it means respecting the collective standards on verbal taboos. Intentionally violate those, and it is likely to increase or perpetuate existing perceptions of gay men (particularly) as hedonistic, raunchy, or lewd.
