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    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Problem, trying to be friends with this girl?

Alistair

Alistair

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I think you should let her take the next step. I also think you should try to get out and meet some new people too. join a club, a gym or something else you're interested in.
 
Stop txting and messaging and Facebooking... and go to her place and ask her out to coffee or lunch. Or at least call her up and set a definite date. Not "someday".
 
Is this question really appropriate for the board? And didnt you start a thread about roommate problems a while ago? You pretty much abandoned that thread after people tried to give you good and honest advice. DOnt you think it would be a little considerate to update people who took the energy to help you with a legitimate issue instead of this random problem with a girl?

I dont mean to sound rude or mean. You do seem like a nice and well-intention kid but I'm just trying to be honest direct with you.
 
aekid89 said:
...going to college somewhere else didnt work, because she told me on facebook before I left to college to have a good time, which I didnt.
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I think this is your bigger problem. You have to make due with your situation. I'm sorry to say that if she's not responding she's either too busy for you right now or she doesn't and even didn't care for your friendship much. Either way, she's not available and the only thing you can do is hope she contacts you.

So back to your bigger problem. What have you tried doing to make friends when you went away for college. Surely you're not the only guy in college that is looking for friends. In fact everyone that goes is probably looking for friends. You just have to put yourself out there and make them.

What have you done lately to try to meet people and make friends?
 
Don't feel bad, everyone will just get over it.

However, dude you have to work on your personal issues man. What's up? Why is everything such a big struggle for you? You have to learn to relax. Can you go to a gay bar or anything and meet some friends? Can you make friends with people in your class? When I went to class I would say hi to people and ask if they want to get together before a the midterm at the library or something. Going out in and around that forum is just natural.

Why are you holding yourself back man?
 
Maybe she's just overly friendly putting the smiley faces?

Well I know with me I'd love to keep in touch with people, but sometimes it's better for someone to make the first move. I want to keep in touch with everyone but it's kind of impossible. If someone does ask the same thing again, though, I'd try to respond with something. I've had experience with people who wanted to keep in touch, yet they never really kept to their word.

Well, with any friendship, you gotta meet eye to eye. You put your effort out to making the friendship work while the other person meets the same distance. As people have mentioned, maybe she's busy or maybe she's not really interested? I'm just guessing she's been really busy lately and hanging out isn't one of her priorities...even though she might want to hang out.
 
aekid89 said:
Maybe this question wasnt appropriate for the board, but I just wanted some advice on what I should do, and this board is about coming out and relationships, which I think my question is kind of related to the topic. Anyways I abandoned the thread because I left the college in florida due to a lot of reasons, and I didnt want people commenting negatively towards me. I know a lot of people gave me great advice, which helped and I appreciate it, but I really didnt want to update my situation to hear how I shouldnt of left, when I know it was best for me. I appreciate that people took energy to give me advice, and im sorry if not updating on my situation came out as me being rude. I know the problem I have with this girl is random but I kind of have no friends. I just wanted to talk and be friends with this girl, that way im not at home all the time, and Im just confused on why she doesnt text me back.

Also you didnt sound rude at all, it probably was a little rude of me to not update on the other thread.
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Well i hope you go back to school somewhere. You need to live your life. You are wasting your youth. You said leaving college was right but now you have nothing to do but wait for texts from this girl. One person shouldnt be your only source of a social life.

TBH I think you need to see a counselor to give you general help, not just your sexuality. Good luck to you.
 
alister said:
I think you should let her take the next step. I also think you should try to get out and meet some new people too. join a club, a gym or something else you're interested in.
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This is sound advice. I agree with it. Stop trying to contact her, let her take the next move. In the meantime get out and make some new friends. Ever heard that old saying about not putting all your eggs in one basket? Well, that's what you've done here as far as friendships go. she was the closest thing you had to a friend and she doesn't seem all that interested in you.

Good luck with that.
 
I kinda had a similar experience with a female friend of mine. I tried to ask her out more than once but we were hardly able to get together and do stuff. But one day we finally scheduled a date where we could go hiking together, but she totally blew me off (not sexually lol) and then went off to college out of town. I remember that day I was at her house and I knew she was there but she didn't answer the door or my calls and then I just gave up and waited for her to call me back but she didn't until well after leaving town. It kinda pissed me off, since I really liked her (don't think love is the right word, but maybe that's what it was), but I tried to just get over her.

I think I'm done with girls for a while now, but I feel for you, man. I'd say maybe just do what everyone else has said and maybe try to get over her. Or at least wait for her to call you back. And don't worry about aijalon18, he's just bitter. :P
 
You HAVE to be yourself. Being yourself doesnt necessarily mean coming out. You sexuality is an important part of you but there is so much more to a person than that.

I can guarantee when you stop trying to be friends with people, people will be drawn to you. You just have to be yourself and be confident about it. If you notice the most popular people are generally not the nicest or easiest to get along with, they simply have the confidence and conviction to be themselves.

You cant be too eager. It repels people from you. Just play it cool. And maybe you should cut back on your work hours. You have to be available if there is something going on. Is it really necessary to work 35 hours if your still a teenger lviing at home who is returning to school?
 
Honestly I think developing social skills are more important than college at this point. He already tried going to college and it was a disaster. The kid said he has NEVER really had friends and has no clue how to handle normal social interaction. What good is a degree if you are unable to interact with people?
 
You seem to have serious social problems that supercede textbooks or car insurance. You cant blame it all on catholic school. Lots of people have been screwed up to some degree by catholic school and are not as emotionally stunted as you. I'm sure if you did a little research you could find an affordable counselor/therapist. you desperately need one.Joining a gay club isnt enough. Tbh, I hope I'm wrong, but I dont think you will even join that gay club. Just like with everything else you'll find some fault with it or make some excuse for why you cant go.
 
^^Way to be supportive, bitter-boy.

I think it's cool that you're gonna join an alliance! If I could find one at my school, I'd join, too. It sounds like you know what you need to do, so just do that. You'll meet new people who like some of the same stuff as you, and that'll make it easier to make new friends! Things will work out, but I guess like aijalon18 said, you'll have to actually go out for all that stuff. It's difficult coming out of one's shell, but I imagine it's worth it once you do. :)
 
I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm just being realistic. He needs to get his shit together before anything. No one is gonna want to be friends with someone who is so confused about life and unsure of himself.
 
Here's the thing. You say you're fine socially, yet you really only have one friend and that one friend isn't really being a friend right now.

Everything that you say the reason why your find is written in the past tense. You say you went to parties, you went to school trips. That was before. Before you were fine.

Right now you are not. And you still (after considering it and reading posts) don't even sound like you are going to proactively going to try to change anything.

You say you talk to people in class and at work. Well where to these conversations go? Try saying, anything good going on this weekend? Ask someone to get a beer or ask someone, hey we should all get together to prepare for the midterm.

You're stories don't make sense, for all intensive purposes you should be fine, but your outcomes show that you're not.
 
aekid89 said:
I dont think I have serious social problems, I might have social problems but I dont think there serious. I went to peoples parties and I even went on school trips, I know how to talk to people I just dont feel comfortable being myself around some people. I also didnt blame it all on catholic school, but I think I would of been better off in public school. I think most of my problems come from my family. I probably need a counselor but I dont desperately need one, Im not suicidal or anything. Im just pointing this out because I didnt write my problems in detail, so you shouldnt make assumptions about me being emotionally stunted and that I cant socially interact with people. I know your being honest and trying to help though, so I appreciate that.
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I'm sorry but the things you describe do make you seem like you have pretty deep social problems. Sure you are not suicidal but there are a lot issues there. You think people only see therapists and counselors if they are on the verge of suicide? They see them for all kinds of things. They identify that they have a problem that they cant seem to fix on their own. You are the one who said you 18 or 19 and have never had close friends. That is emotionally stunted.
 
OK, if you're sick of staying home, go out. Find a cafe you like, hang out in it, find a bookstore or a gym or whatever place they're doing things you like to do. Then hang out there. You're not going to make any friends sitting on your couch.

You're not going to make any friends posting here about how you're sick of staying home.

Go somewhere.
 
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