Problems I wish I had with my men…

[magicdick]

That’s way too big! You can’t fit that in me! (Him: Ya wanna make a bet? He wins.)

You haven’t cum in 3 weeks? Oh well, your problem, not mine. (He fills me to the brim. In both holes. And covers my face. And dick. And nipples.)

You say you need a real good blow job, that it’s been a while and the last guy just went up-and-down, up-and-down, up-and-down—boring! Oh, well, I guess you don’t want me to start by kissing you and rimming you. You don’t want me to kiss, lick, suck, and caress your balls. You don’t want my tongue to work your cock and my warm, wet mouth to deepthroat you. You don’t want to rub your cock all over my face and slap me with it. You don’t want to grab me by the hair and shove your cock down my throat. You don’t want me to look you in the eyes and hear me tell you how gorgeous your cock is, that I can’t live without it, that I need to be your bitch and slut and whore. You don’t want to hear me beg for your cum and watch as I slurp, swish, savor, and triple swallow it.

What? You have ten friends who want to gang-bang me while I suck your cock? Well, if I must. Darn you!

Your wife wants to do a threesome with me and you? I don’t know. Her tits are too beautiful and her pussy too pretty.

You have a gay friend who has a crush on me and wants to get me alone in a motel to be his bitch? Well, he has some nerve!

You have five gay friends who have a crush on me and want to get me alone in a motel to be their bitch? Well, they have some nerve!

You want us to go to a gay bar and watch me get picked up and watch as I get used and destroyed by a bunch of strange guys? Would I like that? No! I’d love that!

A notorious cocksucker says he can suck more cocks for cum in 30 minutes than I can? Let’s do it. Win, lose, or draw, it’s still a win for me.

You have a well-hung, good-looking straight guy with a huge uncut cock who thinks he’d enjoy getting a blow job from a guy? Say what? You volunteered me? Next time, ask me first. Then ask him if he has some straight and curious friends.

Would I enjoy blowing a bunch of strangers in the woods off the highway rest area? Only if they fuck me first. And use the previous guy’s cum as lube.

Enough of my problems (there are more). Let's hear some of yours, my fellow cocksuckers and whores.

 

[FunGayGuy]

Your best bud needs a place to stay for a week, but your wife put her foot down and you volunteered my spare bedroom? Gee thanks. I needed to clean those sheets anyway.

A hitch hiker was standing along the road, naked. He was chased out of a nearby farmers pond for skinny dipping. Sure, I'll give you a lift into town.

The yardboy worked hard all day in the hot August sun. When he finished I offered him use of my pool to relax and cool down before he left. He said he had no swim wear and I said he could swim in his birthday suit...I won't look!

 

[magicdick]

Your best bud needs a place to stay for a week, but your wife put her foot down and you volunteered my spare bedroom? Gee thanks. I needed to clean those sheets anyway.

A hitch hiker was standing along the road, naked. He was chased out of a nearby farmers pond for skinny dipping. Sure, I'll give you a lift into town.

The yardboy worked hard all day in the hot August sun. When he finished I offered him use of my pool to relax and cool down before he left. He said he had no swim wear and I said he could swim in his birthday suit...I won't look!

Wow. Someone with a creative imagination. Love your stuff. You've thrown down the gauntlet.