Question Of Safety

[G-Lexington]

Before anything else...dude, Darkwing Duck rocks. OK, onto your issue.

If you're really and truly officially partnered, and you totally trust your partner to remain true to you, then yes - it's OK to ditch the condoms. Ideally, you should get tested twice, each test a few months apart, to make sure. (At least, that's what I was taught - maybe things have changed?) If you really ARE concerned about catching something, let your partner know that you have this fear. And that it's not about not trusting HIM - it's about catching something in general that neither of you know is there. Ask if he'll work with you in getting over this. You might consider working up to "barebacking". Maybe mutual masturbation without condoms, something like that first? Something so you get used to your partner's ejaculate being in proximity to you. If you approach this as something that you're both aware of AND are willing to try to work through, I think he'd probably be willing to work with you on it.

Lex

 

[mascbiguy]

well first i think you need to read a bit about HIV/AIDS and what the risks are and what high risk(barebacking) vs low risk(oral) to no risk(kissing)

you should get tested at least 2 times a year, theres around a 6mo false neg period. now the oral test, test for anit bodies to HIV which looks back around 4/5mo, and the blood test looks for the virusgoes back around a month.

being that you are neg and have only had sex with him, you can pretty much bet that you are neg. as for him i dont know, have him get tested. as long as you trust him and know he is not fooling around with any one else. then you can make the choice to lose the condom. if you are both neg and only sleeping with each other then the risk is at zero.

 

[lonnie1]

As a voice of reason, I would recommend continuing to use a condom. How many couples--gay or straight--do you know that have a really life-long monogamous relationship? Not very many. You are talking about your life. Don't let your little head rule you.

 

[drhladnjak]

If you're uncomfortable, keep using condoms. Remember, you're basically trusting your partner with your life when you don't use a condom!

 

[UC3543]

Have you explained to your boyfriend why you are scared and that you really want to keep using condoms. My thought is that is the issue, not whether he likes to use condoms or not, not whether sex feels better or not without condoms. Your fears, your feelings are what is important and he should know about your fears and he should be willing to use a condom. Your feelings are more important than just his sexual pleasure.

 

[Steppenwolf]

If both of you are HIV- , if there is no doubt in either of your minds that both of you are faithful to each other, and if both of you are totally comfortable with the idea of not using condoms, then not using them is ok. Periodic testing is always a good idea, whether you use condoms or not. As you're not comfortable with going bareback, don't do it. Your partner should understand that it has nothing to do with not trusting him or yourself.

 

[luminum]

Though the risk between you is currently 0 (since you're both negative) and assumedly negative for other STDs, if you don't feel ready to go condomless, then don't. It's about how comfortable you are, and you said your partner was being understanding too, so I think it'll be fine for the two of you to work through. Maybe you both can work toward that level of comfort, but if you can't, hopefully your partner will understand.

Just know that unless either of you cheats, which is a difficult thing to think about but a real possibility, you're both not at risk for anything. Also, if you had had sex with that guy who was HIV+ and you were both safe about it (male condom and female condom), your chances of catching HIV would have also been 0.

 

[luminum]

Most definitely. Count from his last sexual encounter with her and after about three months, get tested together (even if it's just for him) for a few different STDs. That way you can be most certain about his status.

 

[benlemieux2003]

Heya.

I recommend not ditching protection. Correct me if I'm wrong but even if you're both negative, protection prevents bacteria too.

 

[Shepherd 2]

If you are truly monogamous and intend to stay that way. I could see considering it. It is not likely you will either produce children or get HIV unless one or both is into periodic casual sex. Did he cheat on his wife. I believe past behavior is a predictor of present behavior.

Relax, but do explain that you have a different point of view. If he is as understanding as I would expect him to be, he can give you time to continue to explore this issue. Some men have sensitivity issues. Old rocket pistol here, I benefit from the dulling of the sensitivity that a condom gives. I last longer. Be practical.
Shep+

 

[Shepherd 2]

If you are truly monogamous and intend to stay that way. I could see considering it. It is not likely you will either produce children or get HIV unless one or both is into periodic casual sex. Did he cheat on his wife. I believe past behavior is a predictor of present behavior.

Relax, but do explain that you have a different point of view. If he is as understanding as I would expect him to be, he can give you time to continue to explore this issue. Some men have sensitivity issues. Old rocket pistol here, I benefit from the dulling of the sensitivity that a condom gives. I last longer. Be practical.
Shep+

 

[luminum]

Is he still with her? Because once he gets tested and he's clean and if he's no longer sleeping with her then he'd remain clean...