Question on Gay Bars

[Irish Queer]

OK my actual knowledge of Gay Bars are limited but I was wondering are they all like what we see on TV. For example half naked men dancing in cages or on Bars, a resident Drag Act, Men having sex in "back rooms" or the Toliets??

In all honesty this scares me if I ever dare to come out or venture to a gay bar I simply love a place that's not any of the above. Could I state to anyone who has a drag act that this is not an attack on you or what you do so please don't take it the wrong way. I want a bar wear I can may try an dance have a talk and go to have a piss in a private cubicle without the fear of someone having sex in there.

So am I following a "straight" perspection on all Gay Bars or even one "gay view" ie Queer as Folk.

 

[ashonfire]

well, i'm not too experienced in the scene either but..

they vary depending on the bar and the night, many have themed night ie; thursday's leather night etc. some bars are hald-nakedy and dancey, some are laid-back.

i'm not sure how big the scene is in nth. ireland but if you do some research on the net before you head out, i'm sure you can find out what bars suit your needs.

good luck.

 

[EricCage]

Hmm, I'd love to visit a bar with half naked (actually more than half naked) men dancing all over the place!

 

[ashonfire]

what is the gay scene like in belfast? or would you have to head down to dublin?

just out of curiousity..

 

[RicanDAB]

Gay clubs like QAF's Babylon are a rarity indeed, but they do exist. Most of your gay bars and clubs are no different than your straight counterparts except that most of the clientele are men and the occasional fag hag. Expect however to be stared at quite a bit no matter where you go - I mean, that is what some guys are there for. Check out different bars in your area just for kicks - the good thing is that if it's not your vibe the minute you walk in you can always leave right away and visit another without having spent a dime (assuming of course the place does not have a cover charge).

 

[confessme]

I find they are like what the seem on tv and stuff, and any gay bar I've been to they constantly grope and eye fuck you, it makes me uneasy. I hate if me and my boyfriend go out and people constantly try something with us. It has made me hate going to gay bars. So just look into where your going I guess.

 

[racer2438]

some are like you say. But there are alot that are very nice and friendly. it just depends on what type scene you are looking for. You can do a search on your local scene and there are discriptions of the club and type of people they serve and it will give you a good idea and then you decide.

 

[Orlandude]

I think it all depends on which gay bars you go to as they can vary as much as straight bars....which are also not far from being "sleazy". Generally, bars are bars. I have lived all over the U.S. and, except for their decor (or lack of), I find most gay bars the same. Just a bunch of guys wanting to meet other guys in a place that is non-threatening because everyone is gay for the most part. The big clubs tend to be somewhat like you describe. It seems the bigger they are, the more there is an "anything goes" mentality. I am generally drawn towards the smaller bars. It is easier to talk with people and less drama than the big club scene. I usually go to the big clubs with a few friends, never alone. To me they are a more a place to have some fun and the excitement of a big club. Unfortunately, they are also usually "money pits" with cover charges and high priced drinks. But somebody has to pay for all that "glitz".

As for people...you will find all kinds of people as you would anywhere else. In a bar, add to that they may be drunk or whatever, thus, obnoxious. It goes with the territory and you learn to deal with people like that. And yes, there is also the "attitude" and mindless head games that go on but you learn to deal with that as well. Just remember something I was told long ago and found it to be true. As many people as you see in the bars, that's how many more don't go to the bars at all!! The bars will always be the bars and only one way to have fun and meet some nice people. They are not the end-all. It is usually when the bars become your whole life or you allow your life to revolve around the bar scene that you eventually become very jaded and bored with the whole thing. A day will come when you will "outgrow" the bars and find other outlets. But they are a part of the whole social scene so you just need to determine how much you want to be involved.

 

[mpdan]

[Irish Queer;2418487]OK my actual knowledge of Gay Bars are limited but I was wondering are they all like what we see on TV. For example half naked men dancing in cages or on Bars, a resident Drag Act, Men having sex in "back rooms" or the Toilets??

Yes, I have seen all of this in visits to some Gay bars. And I consider it all part of the latent education (post age 40) of MPDan.

When I was (supposably) straight I used to travel a lot on business, and I would purposely pick small one-of-a-kind "straight" pubs and taverns to eat dinner. I would usually sit at the bar and strike up a conversation with those around me. I am genually interested in other people's lives, yet conversations were somewhat dull and lilly white.

Fast forward to the out and Gay me. All I need to do is sit at a bar and ask my neighbor how he or she made it into this particular bar at this time. I am often fed fascinating and yet sobering stories of coming out, of prejudice, of heartache, and more often than not the laugh out loud antics of our queens.

No still means no. But I am in a bar after all, and yes I have been groped and propositioned. I just nicely say I'm not interested and again turn the conversation to the person's coming out story - and they usually are happy to tell it! I have witnessed guys having sex in the bathroom, but not often and not every time. And I've been asked to participate in just about everything you can imagine (oh yea, I worked last summer in a gay campground)

I'll pick a gay bar over a straight bar any day - I guess because I'm in my element. But in all my travels the funniest, most fascinating conversation I have ever had was with a 6'2" telephone lineman sporting a 5 o'clock shadow while he was dressed in a red sequined mini skirt and a pair of size 12 red ruby pumps....

 

[slobone]

In the US at least, bars are all over the map, from small pubs where people just go to meet and chat, to huge warehouses with crowds of shirtless men dancing, like in QAF, to back-alley leather bars where men really do have sex in the back room.

Does anybody publish a Gay bar guide in Ireland? I'd get a copy of that if there is one. Usually they have codes that tell you what to expect in the different places.

 

[skaterboi]

get on google and search for gay bars in your area, visit their websites most will show photos of what its like inside. you should be able to tell what type of club it is by how it looks. If it looks very up market then it probably is, if it has cages about then their probably going to have dancers inside them.
but in all honesty, like all bars how do you decide which ones you like? by getting in them with a couple of friends, having a drink and getting a feel for the atmosphere. wont know what anywheres like or if you'll enjoy it unless you get yourself out their and give it a try.
can I ask what scares you so much about going to a bar where people will be dancing in cages/on the bar, shirtless guys, people having sex in the toilets etc? because theirs loads of bars straight and gay where similer activities take place, ive been in many straight bars where people have been "having fun together" in the toilets.

 

[Eagle653]

I'm not a bar-fly, but I've been in quite a few in many countries. Amazingly, they are largely the same whether you're in the US Midwest, Chicago, NY, DC, London, Paris, Toronto, Montreal, etc. It never ceases to amaze me. Sometimes, except for the change in language, you could be anywhere.

Of course all of that is a generalization. In each place, there are gems--places that have their own personalities and warmth (or deliberate lack of it).

It really all depends on what you want, and there have been times in my life when I've wanted radically different things. When first coming out, I gravitated toward the sleezy bars with dark back rooms. Then, the stand-and-pose bars. Then, the loud music bars. Lately, piano bars have been more my speed. My partner and I, in fact, go to one that's really a straight German restaurant by day that becomes a gay piano bar after 9 pm on Friday and Saturday nights. So, there are all kinds. The key, in not being turned off, is to be really aware of what you want and what your limits are.

Good luck, have fun, and play safe.

 

[Smitho]

There are places like you said in the original post, but most bars, i think you would be chalenged to tell the difference between a straight pub and a gay pub, from a photo, except there are loads less women in the gay pub. So don't worry, your safe when your having a pee. Have a look at the outside and lots of gay pubs just look like normal locals and if thats the outside they are usually pretty similar inside.

Enjoy the night out!