Questions About An Internet Crush

[frstx88]

hey guys, i need your advice

This is the situation. I recently joined an LGTBQ teen chat site (I'm 18 and in the closet). A few days later, we started talking about politics (my passion, on par with History) on the site. Without giving it much thought, I started giving my point of view and some guy on the site took notice. After agreeing on many things (such as "how the hell are some gay guys so intolerant?), I opened a private chat and asked him "Hey, whats your name?".

That ensued into a 2 hour conversation where we talked about EVERYTHING. We really clicked. He even said "damn, i feel like we are the same person in two different countries". After that we added each other on facebook, and all. With all honesty, I have never met someone with who I had so much in common. WIth all honesty, I think I have a crush on him, even though we haven't met in person and only known each other online for 48 hours.

Today, what happened was he didn't log in at 4:00 like he said, but he did at 9:00. We talked for like 20 minutes, and I said "hey, i've gotta have dinner, can you wait for me 15 or 20 minutes? he said sure. but when I got back, he had disconnected

Anyways, how can I get more out of this? With all honesty, this is the first gay person my age i have ever met that I like (and not necessarily in a physical way).

Something I dont understand is, when I first saw his pictures I was like "uhhhh, he's fine". But as the day went by, I couldnt get him off my head. Tonight, when I saw his pictures again, I felt like he was the hottest guy in the world.

Anyway, i wont bore you more with my closeted teenage rantings, but please tell me what you think. Please

 

[frstx88]

Re: Q

If any moderator sees this, can you please change my thread title to "questions about an internet crush"

I dont know what happened

 

[yhtang]

Re: Q

Could it be that his fire for you burn bright and fast, and then burned out? Attraction is one thing, relationship is another.

If this relationship seems to have ended quickly (albeit abruptly as well) do you think it could survive in the long run?

 

[frstx88]

Re: Q

Could it be that his fire for you burn bright and fast, and then burned out? Attraction is one thing, relationship is another.

If this relationship seems to have ended quickly (albeit abruptly as well) do you think it could survive in the long run?

how can it end when it didnt even start?

 

[TheOscar]

Re: Q

I wouldn't let this relationship consume you too much, as he is in another country and online conversations are usually less meaningful (keyword usually, though).

But he could just be a bit flaky. Keep talking to him.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Re: Q

It seems like you've had your first crush. Unfortunately, it's long distance over the Internet. The chemicals in your body desire to be with him, but it cannot be. It's okay to have a strong connection with someone so far away and it not working out because of obvious reasons. Fortunately, there's plenty of other hot, attractive, and compatible guys that you are going to meet in your lifetime. He's just one of many.

 

[glasvegas]

Sorry mate, been there done that. It'll never work.

 

[Seasoned]

I've never read anything on the subject, but having crushes must serve some type if sociological function. I think they help us indentfy our sexual orientation and the type of person we are attracted to, the emphasis on "type."

I think crushes are considered immature because they are based on something primal rather than intellectual and can start as early as pre-school.

While something akin to a crush is probably the start of many relationships, closeted people tend to make more of them due to the nature if the closet. It's as if we've found someone who is the answer to our prayers and someone who has the capability of making us whole without any risk of coming out to anyone else. The fairy tale aspect of that magical thinking is what makes these kinds of crushes immature, yet very understandable.

Use crushes as a fun, transitory rush and try not to get fixated. As you begin coming out you'll have more freedom to act and won't be as needy of one guy giving you attention. Good luck.

 

[TX-Beau]

It's a good thing that you're reaching out, and you need to keep doing that.

Attraction is natural - what isn't natural is the closet. I know you're asking for advice on how to get more out of this guy - but sugar, until you're in a position to give more, you're not going to get anywhere with any guy. By that I mean a life without lying for you, hiding for you, covering for you, or staying out of your life lest someone find out.

And that means coming out, because you can't have a relationship from the other side of the closet door.

Myself, I'd be a friend but I would never date a guy in the closet, and that is by no means uncommon. Because it's unfair.

Now I'm not telling you to run out tomorrow and scream in the streets, but I am saying that before you can get to the possibility of relationship, you need to deal with the issues of the closet.

Good luck, we're all in here if you need someone to lean on.

 

[ben9651]

This is me 1 year ago.
i`ve learned so much since then(i hope).
I was chatting with a guy from Switzerland and kinda fell for him.It`s just time thing ,it`ll pass!