Quiet couple! I need some advice :)

[CabalNaaman]

Ok, as you can tell, I just registered. I joined, mainly, because I'm in need of some dating advice, and I thought this would be a great place to find it. Second, I joined because I just loooove these forums! They're already so much fun just from the "outside"! Lol I hope I meet a lot of great, helping people here! I know I will.

Ok, so he's what I need some help with,

I just met this awesome guy, we've been talking and going out for a few days now, and things seem to be going just fine. The thing is, we hardly ever talk! Lol I don't know how strange this might sound, but, even though the relationship is a very quiet one, at the moment, I don't ever feel uncomfortable when I'm with him. On the contrary, I feel sooo good when we're together, and he has also expressed that he feels very comfortable around me, too. Now, I'm not the loudest guy, and it does take me a bit to open up, specially when it comes to meeting a new guy that I actually like, but once I feel comfortable enough, I do become a lot more talkative. I really care about this person, and where this relationship is heading, but I really, really want us to have a lot of communication, as I consider that extremely important. There is a lot of flirting, affection, and contact, just not a whole lot of talking.

So, what do you guys think? Should I be concerned because we really don't talk a whole lot? Or should I just give it more time? Are there any "breaking-the-ice" techniques that you can think about? What are good topics of conversation that will let both of us know more about each other? I haven't really dated a whole lot, and even though this might all seem very elementary to a lot of guys here, it is kinda tricky for me.

Thank you for reading my huge letter! xD I will really, really appreciate any advice that you can provide. Thank you!

 

[altlover85]

If he's happy and you're happy, then I wouldn't worry about it too much, especially in the early stages.

As far as topics to talk about travel, music, film, TV, books, and hobbies in general are all pretty good topics to talk about.

For example, if you just saw a movie you could bring that up, or if you'd like to see a movie, you can ask him if he'd like to see it with you.

If you play sports or watch sports you could discuss that and perhaps set up a time to go to a game or ski or play one-on-one basketball.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Oh, and welcome!

 

[Corny]

it seems to me like you don't need to "break the ice". and i think it is wonderful if two guys just can be together and don't need much words. i really like those moments .. of course this might get a bit weird if it is like that all the time. but this partly might be because you probably don't have much to talk about .. right? i guess you met somehow over the internet, so your two worlds suddenly are somehow "artificially" overlapping. you don't have common friends or hobbies etc .. so at the moment .. talk about your day, your life etc .. let him get to know you, find out about him. when you know his friends, or his family .. even just from stories - you will be able to relate to his "everyday life" and can talk about it. do stuff together, plan things that you do etc .. all this gives you a "base" and topics to talk about.

 

[CabalNaaman]

Thank you guys for replying!

Yeah, I also love the fact that we can be together without the need to talk all the time. Like I said before, I really don't mind just being with him, I was just a little worried that there wasn't a whole lot of conversation. We did meet online, so, yeah, we really don't have any friends in common. We do have a lot of similar tastes as far as music, tho, so that's a plus.

If anybody has anymore advice for me, please feel free to reply! Thanks, guys!

 

[KaraBulut]

Sometimes one of the best indicators of a promising relationship is the ability to have comfortable silences around each other (especially when you compare it to trite, tedious chat and uncomfortable silences).

 

[Eagle653]

It sounds like you have the beginning of a great thing. You don't seem bothered by quiet-times, or silence and, believe me, that is a gift. So many people are unglued by silence that they start chattering and rambling and making a pest of themselves by always yakking. Good for you for not feeling like you need to do that.

You asked about "breaking the ice" techniques. One thing most people like to do is talk about themselves, but some feel uncomfortable doing that *too* much, so you have to gauge when enough is enough. But, one thing you can do is, when you hear a song you like, mention how much you like it, and perhaps add that you like the group, period, or something else besides just that song. Then, asks what he likes.

The same could be done with food, decor, movies, etc. I wouldn't bombard him with 20 rapid-fire questions over a date, but in casual conversation express your feeling and ask him his.

Have fun and enjoy yourself. Silence really is golden, especially when two people don't feel the need to fill up precious quiet time with chatter. Good luck!

 

[CabalNaaman]

I really appreciate all of your advice, guys! I'm not as concerned now as I was yesterday! I'm sure the relationship will continue to evolve and, with that, a lot of good things will come, including more stuff to talk about. I'm soooooo into this wonderful man!

I will keep you updated!