Rant & Advise

[Shawn1]

Greetings,

For me it seems to work best if I just simply say and act on how I feel in any given situation, and hope that others will do the same. As much as we might like to I've not yet found a way to reliably get others to do what we want.

At least not all the time

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Your friend doesn't know the "Bros before Hos" rule.

either way yeah... not really worth getting worked up over... he's just not that into you and there's a heck of a lot more guys out there who are probably waiting to meet you. go fine one.

(but when the whole thing is over, have that "Bros before Hos" talk with your friend)

 

[G-Lexington]

When I hear "bros before hos", it's usually in the context of "given a chance to spend time with your friend(s) or spend time with a lover (or just get laid), that the friends have priority". Which, in that sense, is bullshit. If you have a chance to get laid, don't blow it off because Fred wants to play XBox. And if you've started dating somebody, don't blow them off because Steve wants you to watch the game with him.

I've never heard the term in this context, which is different. It's "I'm into a guy who just had sex/a relationship with a friend - is it OK to make a move?" And the correct answer is "Yeah, if the guy is cool with it." But it makes no sense for him to ask AFTER they've already started the rumpy-pumpy. That's like the guy who takes the last popsicle, and after sucking on it for a while, asks "It's OK if I eat this, right?"

Lex

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I take it to mean "consider your friends before your hookups." So don't shag your buddy's fuck buddies unless you know they're ok with it.

 

[Seasoned]

If it wasn't a connection for you, why not be ok with your buddy giving it a go? It's not like you were in a relationship. There's no telling why the guy didn't connect with you. There's nothing you can do to change that. Why not let your buddy have some fun with some you thought was hot. Now go find your own hot guy.

 

[KaraBulut]

While your friend deserves credit for asking, the very fact that your friend was texting and putting the moves on someone you liked is just shady. And trashy.

Honestly- throw these babies out with their hot tub water and get better a friend and a better boyfriend.

 

[Lube]

I kinda like Soreknees' advice. If I pine after someone and he's not interested... well, tough ta-ta's. I'm not gonna prevent a friend from having some fun.

I mean, sure, if you have a "friend" that is constantly fucking guys after you hook up with them, well then he's no friend at all; it sounds pathological. But once in a while, if you don't hit it off with someone, doesn't mean your friend can't.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah it always sucks when some guy we want doesn’t want us. You have no claim on the other guy; he can do what he wants. Your friend did ask you – though he too didn’t have to – and you told him to go ahead. OK, time to move on.

It would be different if the guy was dating you and then your friend asked if he could fuck him. Or the two of them went ahead and did it. But the guy wasn’t interested, so, you’re not getting him anyway, don’t begrudge your friend a chance because it’s not working out for you. Friendship goes both ways.