reality check please - sex with guys

[chrisdobro]

How easy or how hard it is to get together with an 18 year old guy for sex ?

In my thoughts sex is new for most 18 y/o guys. They want it but they are not fast to get it. Either they are waiting for the right guy, they want to date first, and they may not have it at all for a long time. Even if they do want it now, they are so unsure about how to actually go about it and what to do to get it that drama freely flies everywhere before or after. I'm sure there are 18 y/o guys out there who hook up freely here and there, but I would guess their numbers are smaller.

One factor I've also noticed is this: when you try to hook up online, and you want to meet, older guys typically move fast, take steps to meet and actually show up. 18 y/o guys typically say 'yeah I want to meet', but then they give out an air of not really being in a hurry for it at all, if ever. So I never actually meet them. It goes something like this "I'd like to meet .. but I'm going on vacation in 2 days". I say DUDE you have whole 2 days before vacation, let's meet !! There is no reply. Sometimes it's almost like they are saying "oh dude I want to meet... but I 'm going to see a movie with my friends." And I'm thinking .. okay a movie with your friends is more important than getting together for some hot sex ... mmkay and there is not enough time before and after the movie.... And then they come back from vacation and never contact me again. I guess sex is just not a priority on their mind. It's something I'm sure they'd like but it's number 3943 on the list. Or maybe they are just not into me ? I ask them if they ever got together with someone for sex. The answer is no.

It's not just with sex. When I was looking for a filmmaking team, I've experienced the same with younger guys. It's all talk. Perhaps my approach needs some major changes. Maybe I'm waiting for them, when I should be taking charge.

Now on to the questions and reality checks:

If I am looking for sex with 18 y/o guys, will it be taking advantage of them ? -- While I am looking for just sex, they may be looking for love+sex+relationship as one big piece. Or it could be their first time. I guess my question here is are there 18 y/o guys who are just looking for just for sex too ?

Is it worth getting sex with 18 y/o guys ? As in is it worth the trouble for all the drama that may come with it. And is it worth it for the lack of sexual experience they may be exhibiting ?

 

[JayHew]

That is some of why I prefer older guys and those closer to my age group. The drama is far less, indecisions are most certainly less and knowing what they are there for is of course understood. Then too, most of the older guys are not so hung up on stereotypical BS that goes along with so much other crap now days.

I say this with the understanding that it covers most older guys, there are exceptions all the time because some people just don't know when to grow up. Overall it seems, younger guys are just not worth a lot of time or effort for the most part (I do know some very exceptional exceptions).

 

[bluedragon4]

I think most everyone has a 1st time with an older guy. Younger guys are scared and on the fence while the older guy takes control and doesn't pussy foot around. Younger guys lose the moment. I didn't like having sex with younger guys when i was younger but did. It was usually younger guys who came after me while I chased the older guys. I think it's the thrill of the chase for everyone. We all want what we can't have but might be able to get. But 18 is not something I would want. I love chest hair and crows feet and the knowledge and wisdom that comes with their seduction. 18 is goofy,clingy,and quick. Now I am not putting 18 years down though it sounds like it. It's just an awkward age.

 

[drhladnjak]

Largely, I think it's an issue of maturity. Your average 18 year old just isn't going to be as mature as your average 25 year old. Of course, there are exceptions but I suspect confident, mature, well adjusted 18 year olds probably don't have much trouble hooking up. As you can imagine, a lot of them are in college and quite possibly know plenty of gay guys in real life. Those online that are quality, probably go rather fast.

A 19 year old acquaintance of mine (friend of a friend) got more ass online than pretty much anybody I knew at the time (practically a different guy every night). He was not particularly attractive or unique and was widely rumored to need work on his bathing habits. Youth can be a powerful quality in the gay world.

 

[chrisdobro]

soo .. 18 y/o's are hooking up with their own age. I can dig that. I was that way myself. Perhaps due to instilled nature while being in middle and high schools -- I hung around people my age, it was the way of things and the way things were ... I didn't think older guys were icky .. I just didn't think of them as possible partners.

But those 18 y/o's who are looking for a relationship are looking for older guys ? More info please ! I personally was not consciously looking for older guys or even the younger ones. I wasn't even looking for ones I was attracted to. I mean I did admire them from afar, but didn't take steps to get to know them closer. Mostly I was drooling over hot pics on the Internet and imagining that my boyfriend will be something like that. And I was on online chats. A lot. And IMs. Lots of talk, no action. I was not ready to have action. I was still coming to terms with myself and was not out yet. But I was definitely ready for something to happen. Like sex or relationship. I sat at home and waited for it, but it wasn't coming. But I did try ! There were no online sites like ManHunt now for example, or I didn't look for them very hard. I was trying to desperately hook up via chats, but those were just dismal experiences with many people not showing up or people playing you. Needless to say I was pretty frustrated. If they were easier to get out of the house and to show up, I guarantee there'd be some action eventually. But it didn't happen that way. I wonder where the guys like me then are now. If there are any, they are probably sitting at home like I was .... chatting away .. maybe even meeting some people and doing various things.. but not having sex with anybody !!!

 

[tonysw]

I'm older, but will take (train??) as many 18 years olds as I can get. Although I prefer 19 year olds.

When I was 18 and my friend turned 23 I thought that he was near death being so old. Age means nothing to me now.

 

[chrisdobro]

why 19 year olds ?
when I think of this, I feel that 18 y/os are new to the scene and they need some time to adjust. 19 year olds have had some taste of being out and about, and have a bit more of themselves together. I wonder what your reasoning about it is.

Now the big question is will 18 y/os let you train them ? And what do you mean by training ?

As I've mentioned, and coming from my experiences, I feel that 18 y/os are still mostly idealistic and have their own ideas about how and what sex should be, so sex for them is something big and wonderful and should come with the stuff. The stuff being relationship, love, friendship -- generally something long term. So if you get one with intentions of just having a one night fun, while they want more, you may get some drama. Or even if you get out drama free, there may still be some drama for the 18 y/os. But maybe I'm being delusional here -- that's why I wanted a reality check -- maybe all that some 18 y/os want is some sex with no strings attached and that means they won't do drama if that's all they'll get. By drama I mean game playing, having different expectations even though you've spelled things out beforehand, like expecting a deeper attachment when you just wanted to get to know each other carnally with possibly no further sexual/relationship contact.

But also from my talking to people, it seems that it's not as easy to get 18 y/os to have sex. Perhaps they don't think that way. They think in terms of relationship first or some longer term involvement and lots of game play before they put out I hope I'm not laying on too many stereotypes. Maybe 18y/os just play the field differently than older guys, say 23+, and there is a gap in understanding each other.

 

[Jonny_Longhair]

When you're young and gay, you've got a lot of things to come to terms with. Yourself, how you fit in with the world, and especially what relationships are about, and how they work.

As you get older, these things fade into the background as you gain confidence. At least that's what I'm hoping will happen, Dammit!

 

[drhladnjak]

A lot of 18 year olds are idealistic in ways besides just sex. Eventually though, more and more of us seem to turn into bitter, jaded queens who decide some NSA sex isn't such a bad thing.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

No serious answer will cover all the aspects of your questions.

Lots of 18 year olds are hooking up and having sex. To some age is an important factor, to the others it really does not matter that much.

Certain number of young guys are simply insecure and immature. Sex sounds good as an idea but they still are not ready to take a dip and are procrastinating. (I am going in vacation in two days and cannot have sex before. Talk about being young and dumb...)

A certain number of young guys see themselves as major objects of universal attraction and admiration and assume that they should be courted endlessly until they acquiesce... They might be right or wrong, but you simply want to pass on them. Life is simply too short for such games.

You are right in assuming that a number of guys want the whole relationship-meaningful-sex-package only. If this is what they want, they should go for it. I am all for good, ole' recreational sex and too many strings attached are just not on my books.

A number of dudes simply bought into the ridiculous theory that 'they are young and that they have got a lifetime ahead of them'. No one knows, what comes next in life and no one has made any contract with God. You are here today and trust me, there is absolutely no guarantee that you will live till tomorrow.

Besides, every day of your life is what it is: a day of your life. Why would any other day be better than today? And what would waiting for someone, who may as well, never show up at all, be any good?

---
My advice: go cruising and have fun. If the dude exhibits any lack of interest, do not waste your time and move on. For everyone, who can't do it today, there are 3 hot dudes, who will be more than happy to oblige.

SC