Really low self image...

[Seiya174]

So, I'm not sure what to do but...I am having an odd problem..
I thought that I would run it by you all and see if anyone has ever felt similarly.

I am 24 years old.
For the past few months I have developed a terrible self image for some reason...I have been working out and eating right so I honestly look better than ever before.
However, this doesnt stop me from thinking badly of myself.

I used to have so many friends and have no problem making them and fitting in, but in the recent months I find myself no wanting to associate with people besides my long term boyfriend. Even more alarming, I find myself not wanting to see or talk to friends that I have had for a while. This is primarily because I feel that they don't/won't want to talk to me.
For example, this weekend I attended a show that 10+ of my friends were in...I went to see them, but quickly left after it was over, feeling that nobody liked me and would not want to see me.

I don't know what to do about this...I was at a party this saturday, a housewarming for one of my dearest friends. There were many people there that I did not know, but all seemed to know each other. I was just so overwhelmed with an anxiety feeling that I left about an hour into the party.

To add to this, I have been having trouble sexually with my boyfriend because I feel that I do not deserve him, and feel that I will not be able to perform, so of course it ends up that I can't. This, in turn, makes me feel even WORSE about myself.

I just don't know what to do about any of this, I saw a doctor and he told me to see a psychiatrist about this but I am wary of doing so because I can't pinpoint my problem...

Has anyone else ever had a similar issue? I feel like nobody will be interested in talking to me because I am unappealing and uninteresting...

Thanks in advance

 

[TX-Beau]

If that's you in your pic, you've got nothing to worry about in the appealing department. As to your personality - well, we don't know you but you sound like a decent guy.

Sometimes I don't want to go out or be social either. It's just a phase I go through now and then. I think that's probably normal.

Did something happen recently that made you question yourself? Or did this just happen gradually. What's different in your life between now, and when you didn't feel like this?

 

[Seiya174]

This definitely happened gradually...It started a while ago but has built up until now.
I really can't put my finger on anything that could be making me feel this way...I am just going to try to ignore it and put a smile on my face...maybe try to make some new friends...
Its just hard, I don't even want to look people in the eye most of the time because I am afraid of what they will think of me.

 

[TX-Beau]

OK, is this about your body image, or your personality. In other words are you worried people aren't going to find you attractive, or that people are going to think you're a worthless person? Or both?

Is it possible you have a clinical depression? If you're clinically depressed this could just be the imbalance in your head.

Just as a general rule, endorphins help. If I'm feeling depressed or down, I usually go work out. Not that that is a universal cure for everything, but it does help me feel better, with the added side effect of boosting my body image.

 

[Seiya174]

Thanks for responding to me..
It is both, I feel that I am worthless for some reason, and that the other person wont want to talk to me at all. If I get into a conversation I usually end it quickly, because I can't bare the thought of them tolerating me...if that makes sense.

Depression is a possibility but I dont want to go on any medication, because I heard it can screw up your sex life...

 

[TX-Beau]

Thanks for responding to me..
It is both, I feel that I am worthless for some reason, and that the other person wont want to talk to me at all. If I get into a conversation I usually end it quickly, because I can't bare the thought of them tolerating me...if that makes sense.

Depression is a possibility but I dont want to go on any medication, because I heard it can screw up your sex life...

From what you say, your sex life is already screwed up. If there's a medical issue you need to find that out.

To me, it sounds like that's what's happening. Are you prone to depression?

Otherwise there has to be some reason you started down this path. It's easy to say, go out and get active, but I suppose that's not much help to you since that's exactly what you're having a problem with.

 

[Seiya174]

About being prone to depression..
I have never been 'diagnosed' per se, but I have gone through small bouts in the past..
I guess when it comes down to it I really should see a psychiatrist...
I went to a doctor about the sex thing, and rather than give me any 'performance enhancing' drugs, he listened to my problem and referred me to a psychiatrist..
Maybe that is the answer afterall

 

[Seasoned]

See the psychiatrist. Mine worked wonders for me. Get the help you deserve.

 

[rareboy]

Poor boo.

There is no reason to have poor self image from what I see.

Nice smile, pleasant features.

But dollars to doughnuts, depression is at the root of your malaise. probably as a result of a physiological condition, muddied by some other issues.

I suggest that a qualified therapist is a place for you to start and as well, my usual advice:

Cut out all msg.

All high fructose corn syrup and sugars generally.

No caffeine.

No recreational drugs.

Take some vitamin b12. and vitamin D if you're not outside enough.

Restrict computer time to very specific hours and never just before bed. If you're not sleeping well, talk to the doc about this one.

 

[StlKj]

You're finding reasons not to go to a therapist. Stop it. What you are describing could become quite debilitating if you do not get help for it. What if you eventually cannot leave the house for fear of what people will think of you? What if you lose all of your close relationships because you have pushed them away? Something is going wrong in the way you see yourself, and you need to get to the bottom of it, as soon as possible.

 

[goodbyemountainman]

I am so in the same spot right now. Except the fact that I don't have a bf. So lucky you, bastard. I think therapy will help. I went there 2 weeks ago and my psychiatrist (who I think is gay) said I have communication problems and group session will help. My first session will be 2 weeks from now. But I think you should try your best to stay out of medication. My psychiatrist said I should take some anti-depression but I told her I don't want to try yet.
I think a lot of people are feeling the same way you do. And it's a good thing when we can share our story with each other.

 

[MaxMouse]

I hate to diagnose online, but it really sounds like depression. It's nothing bad, really, and don't be against meds. 90% (what I just heard from my OT supervisor) of the world is now on medication for some kind of mental or physical ailment.

It doesn't have to affect your sex life...and you shouldn't be worried about something as stupid as that regardless.

A definite indication that something is up is if you are working out and after you finish working out, you still don't feel any better about yourself, the endorphins should be strong at that point.

 

[hotb0d]

*hugs*

That have never happened to me so I'm shooting blind here...but I think what you should do is to talk to your close friends. Talk to them one-on-one if you have to, just tell them what you feel. That might help. Hug them. If I was in your situation and tell my friends that I think they hate me...I could imagine them shocked and started yelling at me for thinking of such stupid thing.

Maybe you're not satisfy with certain parts of your life? academically? professionally?

 

[bankside]

It is not usual to feel that way, and it seems like the emotion does not match what is going on in your life. That disconnect could be from a variety of things, and I think it would be a good idea to take your doctor's advice to visit a psychiatrist.

A psychiatrist can help assess your level of emotional health and he can help determine if there are any specific issues going on. You don't have to have a specific problem figured out before you go. That is the doctor's job to help you figure out.

Think about it like this: If your doctor wanted to send you to a cardiologist, you would go right? You wouldn't bail just because you weren't sure if you had cardiomyopathy, or angina...

On the other hand, I think you are right to stay off any medication unless a doctor comes up with a specific issue, a specific diagnosis, and a clear treatment plan with a defined goal. You need to be convinced that your doctor is on to something before you take a medication for depression.

But it is also something you should get help figuring out, just like with any medical situation.

 

[tonyboy]

Ok.... well man... you are obviously handsome and talented.. You have a fine singing voice and can play musical instruments... you have many friends as well as b/f you love and that loves you.

So, what is wrong with that picture? Must be something with you. Sorry to be blunt man...

I write to guys here all the time that would give a right pinky to have what you have... yeah, I know that does not make it any easier for you..

So given all that you have there must be some underlying reason for you to have these thoughts/feelings...

Hell, I dont' know if a shrink would help you.. that is something that you and your doc must figure out. And sometimes those drugs (if taken in a mild dose and for a short period) can help you..
Check it out.

One thing you don't want to do is loose your friends or b/f by being morose or not making them feel that you care about them anylonger. If they get that vibe from you, well good friends or not man... after a period of time they may just say WTF.. he doesn't want to be around us so we don't want to be around him.

You seem to be very handsome and have much going for you in life. Take care of business and go out and be happy in the future.

Hope that wasn't too harsh man.. didn't mean it to be. You have much going for you.
Good luck..
Write a pm if you want to and let me know how things go..
tonyboy

 

[videoboi08]

you might want to talk to a psychiatrist , hope you see youself in a whole new light soon

 

[gustischafer]

OK, now let's see... This has happened to me but not in such a big extent. Generally I am really insecure. And there were times that I felt like I was totally unwanted or that everybody laughed at me and so on. But I thing you should see a doctor. Probably not a psychiatrist, just a psychologist. Just don't let it go. Oh and by the way, you are NOT ugly!