The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

REALLY Need Advise - First Timer Here

M

mkedude88

Joined
Feb 15, 2012
Posts
10
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Milwaukee
Straight/Curious 23yo guy here with a situation that I have no idea how to handle. A while ago I met a guy online, he was cool, good looking, around my age, and just a down to earth guy who kept everything we did on the DL. Got head from him probably 15 times, and jacked him off once or twice. This is one of my only experiences with a guy, and I never thought I would be attracted to a guy in a way more than just getting off. Well, I recently found out this guy is starting to date someone, and for whatever reason my stomach instantly sank, and I just have this feeling that I wish I was that guy. He says that he still wants to get to know me more, and keep talking. I am so lost in what to do. I really want things to work out with this guy, but he just started dating someone else. It's all I can think about since he told me, and I really feel I can't talk to anyone about it since I am not out at all, but I really want things to work out between us. Any advise/tips would really be appreciated.
 
We can develop feelings for someone without even knowing it! If the guy is willing to talk with you about this, then talk with him. The more communication and better the communication is, the better and stronger your relationship will be with him.
 
Well, Mike, I feel really bad for the way you're feeling right now...

From his perspective, I suspect that blowing you fifteen times while getting jacked off in return once or twice, probably wasn't very satisfying...

Having to keep your relationship on the DL probably wasn't very healthy (mentally) for him...

And now that he has found someone, you trying to invade on that happiness, probably won't work...

My advice for you is to resolve your own sexuality with yourself -- and this may take time...

IF you come to the conclusion that you are gay -- live it openly -- then you'll be ready for a healthy relationship...
 
The thing is, he really liked what we were doing, he told me it was amazing and that if we don't keep talking we would never forget it so I know that's not the issue. I also asked him if he was cool with me not being out if we kept hanging out to see where things go and he said that was totally cool by him.
 
I also made a comment that if he's happy now I don't want to intrude on that, but he said he still wants to stay on contact, maybe have dinner and some drinks and just get to know each other. I feel so lost, and have no idea what the hell I should do.
 
Sounds like you have developed feelings for him, but he hasn't for you. Or at least not as much as you have. That's an awful place to be for you. I don't know whether you should continue with that or not; on the one hand he has offered to get to know you better, so I would just try that. But on the other hand, he might not ever have the same feelings for you that you have for him, so you might be in a constant state of pain until the time you finally let go of him. It's hard for any of us here to decide for you what to do. I think you have to reduce the magnitude of your feelings for him somewhat, to the point where you are roughly at the same place he is in the relationship. To reduce your feelings means letting go of him, at least partly. Some time away from him, and refocusing on your own life, is the only real way to do that.
 
Something else I should probably mention, he told me he liked me but didn't want me to get freaked out by telling me since I was a closeted straight guy. I just told him I kind of felt the same way, which is obviously a little late now that he's just getting into dating someone else. This is situation just has me thinking about a million different things, and it really doesn't help that none of my friends are bi or gay so there's not really anyone I can talk to about it.
 
I think you should take this time to be his friend. Get to know him and make sure you really like this guy as more then a friend. Then if things don't work out between him and this guy give him some time to heal and move on. When the time is right express your feelings for him.

In the meantime though you should figure out if a relationship is what you want with this guy, being that your only straight/curious and being on the DL. Hooking up on the DL and having a relationship on the DL are two very different things.

It may seem okay at first but what if he wants to express his feelings for you in public one day?

Or if things get serious and he wants you to meet his friends?

How far do you think the relationship can really go and is it really fair to him?

Take some time out and don't think about what you want and think about what you have to offer this guy? If you really like him you will want to treat him right and do what's best for him.
 
I realize there is not enough time and space to write everything. But let me get this straight. He gave you head 15 times and you jacked him off twice.

I love servicing st8 guys even without a hand job but I have needs too. I think his interest in you was your outward more straight acting appearance. how can you be gutted you cared for his pleasure so much you jacked him off twice?
 
mkedude88 said:
Something else I should probably mention, he told me he liked me but didn't want me to get freaked out by telling me since I was a closeted straight guy. I just told him I kind of felt the same way, which is obviously a little late now that he's just getting into dating someone else. This is situation just has me thinking about a million different things, and it really doesn't help that none of my friends are bi or gay so there's not really anyone I can talk to about it.
Click to expand...

I know you're probably feeling really torn about this but the first thing you need to sort out is how you feel in general.

First, from how you described this guy in the first post "good looking, down to earth", it seems like you're fully aware that he possesses both physical and personal attributes that you (and other people) find attractive, but you're obviously not at the place where you would call him a "friend".

You say your "stomach sank" at the news of him being with someone else, but may I ask you why exactly? From your synopsis of what you guys have done together, it sounds like you guys don't kiss. Do you think you might have started falling for him? Do you feel like you're losing him? Is it just the innate man in you that gets jealous when you feel someone else is invading your territory?

Personal advice time. I (obviously) don't know you, but if you have romantic feelings for a guy you've been hooking up with... you're past the point of no return on the "curious" label. You should welcome and celebrate this. You found a dude you like! Who said he liked you back! Now, while I'm not saying you should declare this to him, if I were you, around now is when I would put my cards on the table. I would honestly just tell him the truth. I would tell him although you're not absolutely sure how you feel about him, not ready to be out and public about anything, and don't even necessarily want to be his boyfriend, you've come to realize you have much stronger feelings towards him than previously thought and want to explore it deeper (and exclusively). Tell him that when he told you about the other guy, your stomach sank (it is true, you're being genuine, which is pretty adorable BTW). Good luck.
 
Thanks for the advise guys, it definitely helps being heard out on this. I know it probably sounds like I'm an idiot with the very little I did for him in return. Something just sort of clicked yesterday when this all went down. We're meeting up for drinks or coffee sometime soon to just talk and get to know each other outside of the bedroom. I'm kinda freaked out as I have never done anything like this before, but I think it will be for the best. I don't know what to expect, and I guess I shouldn't even set expectations at this point. I'm all ears to any other advise. Thanks.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top