Really not sure

[januaryguy1979]

I've known this guy for about 10-years maybe. I met him online and we became friends. We did hang out one time, but mostly we've chatted and a few times talked on the phone.

He's gay and I'm more into girls. Ok so all is fine, but I've also gotten a lot more interested in men, but not enough to develop any real feelings for like I can with women. But here's where things got complicated.

As we talked about that the two of us have had some sexually charged messages. It was a lot of fun and we'd get each other off. He wants to do this for real though. Either I visit him or he visits me.

The thing is the thought of actually doing this in real life just doesn't feel right for me. I told him that and he said he understands, but I haven't heard back from him so I suppose maybe his feelings are a little hurt.

The main reason I feel bad is I knew that sooner or later it would come to this and online just wouldn't cut it, but I still went through with the chats. So in a sense I suppose I led him on.

I feel really badly about it now and I mean I like him as a friend and like I said I enjoyed the chats he has a nice big dick so sexually I do have an attraction, but at the same time again it just doesn't feel right to me doing this in real life.

But again I really feel bad and there were times I might have been in an unhealthy friendship and I stayed simply not to hurt someone's feelings. So seeing as I feel bad about what just happened a part of me thinks I should call him and tell him we should do this for real to make up for leading him on when I sort of knew it wouldn't go past online.

What should I do?

 

[seven2go]

You COULD kill two birds with one stone....... .......or not.

Regardless.......I think you should TALK with your buddy.

 

[januaryguy1979]

Well we did talk and he seemed cool with it and said he understands how I feel.

Later on I emailed him a question, and no response, I mean he could be busy, but a little odd I haven't heard back yet since everything went down.

Like I said I feel really guilty about leading him on and I'm considering going through with it due to that

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

After so many years, seems to me the 'chase' of seeing if you, a straight guy, are willing to have M2M sex, was his own fantasy turn-on. If he felt you led him on, he chose to be.

I understand gay/straight fantasies, but neither you or he should be pressured to follow through with sex. After 10 years, he should have realistically expected that your cyber-relationship would be be no more than a sex fantasy with a straight dude!

 

[januaryguy1979]

That's true. Steve. Good point. But I still can't help, but feel really guilty.

I think you are very correct on the chase and see if I was willing in real life and he did chose that to be.

But I also allowed the chats and even started them sometimes. And you know how it goes in the heat of the moment, you might say something you don't exactly mean.

Like when we're really deep into the chat I'd tell him I want his dick more than any pussy and no woman can compete with his dick.

I would say that because it turned him on and he really liked that. But even though I didn't mean what I said and I think he knew that as well, but stuff like that just makes me feel guilty.

Like I lied to him.

 

[BiMike]

To you your sexual chats were completely fantasy and you just let them flow , there is nothing wrong with that, I do it myself with some of my on-line friends. However in his case being truely gay he probably read more into them than you intended and always had the hope that one day you might really link up for real.
However it appears that you have recently made it clear that you have no intention of meeting up in a sexual way and he has seen this as a point of change in your on-line relationship.
I am afraid your on-line relationship may not be the same in future and he now has probably found other interests!
You should not feel too guilty about your past actions but 10 years was a long time to continue the on-line relationship in your fantasy world.

 

[bijockdude]

I say you guys rent a porn and have some drinks and jack off together to get it out in the open and end it there or stop the teasing conversations as they will become promiment in your relationship

 

[januaryguy1979]

To you your sexual chats were completely fantasy and you just let them flow , there is nothing wrong with that, I do it myself with some of my on-line friends. However in his case being truely gay he probably read more into them than you intended and always had the hope that one day you might really link up for real.
However it appears that you have recently made it clear that you have no intention of meeting up in a sexual way and he has seen this as a point of change in your on-line relationship.
I am afraid your on-line relationship may not be the same in future and he now has probably found other interests!
You should not feel too guilty about your past actions but 10 years was a long time to continue the on-line relationship in your fantasy world.

I've knowm him for 10. It hasn't been going on that long. Only a few months

 

[stevexxx]

he isn't your friend, he is just a selfish bastard. he knew you were straight and wanted to do you but you told him you don't feel comfortable with it and now he doesn't respond back to you??? he isn't your friend. he is all hurt and booty tickled about it. if i were you i would say fuck it, there is alot of people in the world to make friends with.

 

[easyroad]

You did the right thing. He didn't do anything wrong either. Even if he's hurt (which isn't likely, in my opinion), it's good that he's silent and not saying things he might regret.

Give him a little time. If he still does not respond, you have no other choice but to get over it and move on.

 

[swerve]

Don't EVER feel pressured into doing something that you're NOT comfortable with...

His feelings are HIS problem...

Move on with your chin held high...