Really unhappy.

[Musclelover]

I'm fairly sure i'm gay but, i wish i was straight. i would really like a family and a wife, it is what i long for.
I have seen girls and thought they were "hot" but whenever I see straight porn I don't seem to be turned on. Is it possible to turn straight or bi or whatever?

Thanks for any help.

 

[7Anthony5]

I went through the wishing I was straight, trying to make myself str8 deal.

I made myself miserable and wasted a good portion of my life.
Let yourself be what you are and you'll be much happier.

 

[Telstra]

Who ever you are secretly attracted to is what you are.

 

[chrisrobin]

I don't know if this is a good comparison, but I've always wanted to be tall - at least 5'10" but I'm not.

However, I'm the perfect size for a coach seat on today's commercial aircraft.

I've also come to the realization that what kind of person I am is more important than my height.

 

[altlover85]

You can have a family and kids with a husband.

You'll be okay, but the important thing is to be open to experiences if you aren't sure if you are gay or straight. If I was a betting man though, I'd bet you were gay and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[birddog7]

I went through the wishing I was straight, trying to make myself str8 deal.

I made myself miserable and wasted a good portion of my life.
Let yourself be what you are and you'll be much happier.

True that!

 

[Seasoned]

For many of us the most difficult person to come out to is ourselves. It's time to do some reading, a lot of talking (JUB will do for now), socializing with other gay men and learning to be comfortable in your own skin.

Long term relationships are possible with family and friends as support. Remember, we live in a heterosexist society and all the social cues are geared to male-female pairing. Don't fight who you are. I was married with a child on the way before I had had sex with a guy. Another child later and I divorced. I've been with my partner 27 years. We all get along, but there was a whole lot of grief. Good luck to you. You are fine the way you are.

 

[hotb0d]

uh you can be gay, have a family, and have a "wife". Just remember to buy a maid outfit, dress up and you can have all the 'husband and wife' that you want.

 

[Musclelover]

The thing is though, I'm not really comfortable with it though. it just seems strange to kiss a man if you get what I mean.

Lets say, you gave me the choice, I would kiss a girl over a boy even though I'm gay.

Like I picture myself with a wife + kids and thats what I dream of, but, a husband would make me really self conscious if you get what I mean. Like, I would find it difficult to "go out" with a man.

I almost feel like I am a straight in a gay mind, if you get what I mean.

If I sound homophobic or whatever, Im not, Im really supportive of gay people.

 

[altlover85]

I don't think your thinking is strange. However, the more you put yourself out there and talk to other gay people the better you will feel. I would focus on reading some books on coming out and googling "coming out resources" as well as any resources available here.

I think education and exposure will help you become more comfortable with yourself. As hard as it can be sometimes, live your life for you first and don't let society and the expectations of others get in the way of your happiness and development as a person.

Good luck!

 

[bankside]

The thing is though, I'm not really comfortable with it though. it just seems strange to kiss a man if you get what I mean.

Lets say, you gave me the choice, I would kiss a girl over a boy even though I'm gay.

Like I picture myself with a wife + kids and thats what I dream of, but, a husband would make me really self conscious if you get what I mean. Like, I would find it difficult to "go out" with a man.

I almost feel like I am a straight in a gay mind, if you get what I mean.

If I sound homophobic or whatever, Im not, Im really supportive of gay people.

You're really supportive of gay people, but do you know any? I've met gay couple, gay parents, and they don't seem awkward in any situation. Do they seriously seem strange to you, even if you are a supporter?

 

[KaraBulut]

I almost feel like I am a straight in a gay mind, if you get what I mean..

A lot of guys who post in the Coming Out forum say things like this. It's part of the process.

Whether we like it or not, there's a script written for us long before we are born- that most of us will get married, have 2.5 kids, a house and a dog. And live happily ever after.

That script makes a lot of assumptions- one of which is that most of us will be straight.

You're not straight. And as part of your coming out process, you have to figure out what it all means. And you have to work through your own homophobia. The word "phobia" doesn't mean "hatred"... it means "fear" and that's what this phase of the coming out process is all about- it's about being afraid.

Like I picture myself with a wife + kids and thats what I dream of, but, a husband would make me really self conscious if you get what I mean. Like, I would find it difficult to "go out" with a man.

That's the script.

There's a different script for you. It's not the one that society tells you that you should have. It's not the one that your parents and friends expect you to have. It's one that you will have to write for yourself.

You can have a long-term stable relationship.

You can have kids.

You can have it all. But you have to come to terms with your sexual orientation and start to figure out what that means for your future life.

 

[Rooster]

The thing is though, I'm not really comfortable with it though. it just seems strange to kiss a man if you get what I mean.

Lets say, you gave me the choice, I would kiss a girl over a boy even though I'm gay.

Like I picture myself with a wife + kids and thats what I dream of, but, a husband would make me really self conscious if you get what I mean. Like, I would find it difficult to "go out" with a man.

I almost feel like I am a straight in a gay mind, if you get what I mean.

If I sound homophobic or whatever, Im not, Im really supportive of gay people.

I go through that from time to time. And then I remember what really matters to me is that I end up with someone that I love. If I love them, then it wouldn't matter what their sex is. I would be proud to show them off to the world and to build a family with them and I would count myself lucky to have them in my life.