Reassessing JUB

[gsdx]

It is no wonder so many of the long-time Jubbers aren't posting here anymore. They have been leaving in droves.

Why? Because this place is going to crap. There is so much talk about people having the right to their opinions, but, as soon as someone presents an opinion, people are all over his ass, and they're not offering different opinions. They are attacking the person they don't agree with, and they're getting away with it.

Twice in this past while I have been ganged up on and attacked for my opinion. The attacks went on and on, even after I walked away from them, and the attacks were carried over into other threads as well. Was anything done about them? No. A little warning here and there to 'play nice'.

That is unacceptable.

I don't know what the moderators do there in the Mod Forum, and it's none of my business, but it really makes me want to see their discussions about someone being called name after name by some immature little brat who thinks it's a lot of fun to pick on other people. I have seen entire threads being locked and/or deleted for a whole lot less, yet it is allowed to continue in others. Is there a secret list of words people can use to insult and humiliate other people and get away with it?

Am I pissed? You're damned right I am! I have been a registered member of JUB for almost 3 years. I have never had a problem with a moderator. I have never earned a single warning point. So, why is it okay for some people to walk all over me?

And it's not just me. I see it happening to many other Jubbers as well, and I am being very presumptuous by speaking for them. When I see the same thing happening to them, I jump in and try to defend them. Perhaps, if more people did the same, the troublemakers would learn something from the experience other than the fact that they can do it and get away with it. They will continue do it again and again.

And they do!

Unfortunately, this thread will undoubtedly suffer one of two fates: It will either be locked up and deleted sometime soon, or it will be ignored and fade into non-existance on the back pages of JUB even sooner.

This is a very serious problem for many people here. It is too bad that it is not being treated as one.

 

[blooeyz]

I'm sure the Mods will reply

 

[blueboi05]

Really? I've been away from JUB for the past few weeks (for other reasons that you listed), but i've never really see this type of behaviour you speak off. Can you give us links to see for ourselfs?
If it is happening the it's not on. The JUB rules say to respect each other (don't remember the exact wording), if someone's doing what you say they're doing then report them to a mod and they will have to do something about it.

I doubt the mods will lock this thread so the fading options is more likely, specially if you just make accusations without proof.
I know i've seen a few people act like asses but not to the level you describe.

 

[gmoney]

I have to agree with Stevenavy on this one, Neil. I also find it disturbing when guys get mean spirited towards others. This is, afterall, supposed to be a place where we can escape from everyday stress and communicate with guys who all have something in common. Each and every one of us joined because we wanted to interact with other gays, which for some like me, is not easy in real life. I hope this thread causes some to stop and think. I know the membership has grown to include a variety of personalities, but everyone should still respect ones opinions, even if they don't agree.

 

[johnflagc]

.........being a newbie here at this site am sorry to hear it happens but then a few always seem to try and ruin it for others............this saying comes to mind for those who like to disrupt things.........better to be quiet and thought to be an asshole than to speak and remove all doubt........

 

[Zeremonie]

Neil,

One thing that's a shame (at least in my opinion) is that warnings are not visible. When you're getting attacked if the other party gets warning points, and if you could see that, you would probably feel like something is getting done.

I know of at least one of the situations you're describing in this post, and I personally did address it with points.

I'm sorry that it seems to you that guys are getting away with things, but warning points are private not public.

I hope you'll stick around for at least another 3 years! And you should keep using the report post icon any time you feel there is a problem. There have been circumstances where guys report posts, and mods disagree that there is no problem, but by far, the quickest way to get anything done is to use that post report icon. There are so many posts here that no mod can keep up on all of them.

Melody

 

[TriBi]

gsdx,

I'm not sure to which particular threads you are referring - but there was one in the last couple of days where a poster was warned (by another Mod) for what was described as a "direct insult" against yourself. Just because you don't see a post stating that action has been taken - does not mean that nothing has been done.

Please be aware that generally we try not to "stifle" discussion on the forums- also these days there are so many posts being made that, as already stated by someone else, there will be ones that just don't get read by any Mod.

If someone makes a post report - then we do look at it. If it is something "cut and dried" (ie Spam/Underager) then it will likely be actioned very quickly. A lot of other things are disussed first before action is taken. Also sometimes, while posts may become heated - there are a few people here who are quite adept at "walking the line" just insde the boundary of being Ad Hominem.

My personal stance is that I prefer to not step in unless I absolutely have to - I have seen so many instances where the Forums are quite effectively "self moderated" by the membership. By that, I mean posters within a thread pointing out the rules of JUB - and influencing the direction of comments made in a positive way.

Other Mods may prefer a more authoritarian way of dealing with things - as I said, we differ - which is why we discuss things. Bear in mind as well...depending upon personal perspectives, what one person sees as "lively discussion" may be viewed by another as some form of attack.

I am sorry you are feeling aggrieved...but the post report button is there, the ignore function is available...and sometimes the most galling response to someone who seems to be seeking an argument is to choose not to have one.

*Edit* Ah well - Mel obviously types faster than I do!

 

[cockman1701]

I love ya gsdx! Afterall, you have excellent taste when it comes to archiologists/gallactic heros.

 

[Croynan]

An observation: the porn being marketed in the banner ads seems more and more youth obsessive, with models that increasingly look JUST legal age.

Perhaps the sales side of JUB has given over mature men and is targeting the young. I'm sure some of the disaffection is the technical glitches and the end of galleries as most JUBBERS knew them.

I find more and more of the threads less and less interesting, and too many too vapid to interest me any more. Half the time, Hot Topics is either feting someone with 10 million posts from the game forums, or is dancing around some fratboy chat about college kids partying.

I must totally agree with you on both parts highlighted. Some of the eye candy in recent weeks just seems to ride the fine line of yesterday he was 17 and today he 18 so now we can take our picutres and post away. Too often they do just legal age - and my question is why does that have to be such a primary issue in who gets posted for the eye candy?

As for the threads being less and less interesting, I think all one needed to see was the one about peeing in the bottle to get a feel of where things are going. And posted yesterday was a persoanl ad, that unless I am mistaken seemed to be missing some information regarding the individual's situation as I last heard about it. Maybe it tis just I and my waining memory but what I read and what I knew/know just in my mind do not may 2 + 2 = 4 - I kept coming up with 5.

Neil is right about the attacks issue even to the point where by he was nice enough to come to my aid when infor. I had posted about a member's previous comments that contradicted what he was now saying. Said member shouting at myself for only calling attn. to his own comments - Neil was right there and backed me up 100 percent - my comments had been correct. But you know Neil, if you checked the thread later all of the postings related to the issue were gone, including your defensive comments on my behalf.

Removing of postings has become another issuue in my opinion - when a thread about suicided suddenly comes along with a posting suggesting "another form" of suggested suicide and one goes and makes a comment about that posting - interesting that both of the postings were removed with no explanation ever made that I am aware of - as I was the one who had the posting removed about the inappropriate posting that had been made. That inappropriate posting should have been removed when it was made it was so obvious as to how offensive it was.

Something is obviously going on if so many key players are leaving in the numbers that they are and I still think statistics should be kept as to why a member as chosed to leave to see if the problems/issues can be corrected. My guess is that those members who do leave whould be willing to fill out a small questionaire as to why they are taking the action they are. Why are we ignoring the issue when it is right in front of us on almost a daily basis. Anyone who thinks the mood, tone and quality of the forums is what they were a year ago and not followed the desintigration of what has taken place.

the village idiot is speaking only for himself here - so chastise him if you are unhappy about his comments.

 

[sonny10305]

I believe it's time for a group hug

 

[Croynan]

Neil,

One thing that's a shame (at least in my opinion) is that warnings are not visible. When you're getting attacked if the other party gets warning points, and if you could see that, you would probably feel like something is getting done.

I know of at least one of the situations you're describing in this post, and I personally did address it with points.

I'm sorry that it seems to you that guys are getting away with things, but warning points are private not public.

I hope you'll stick around for at least another 3 years! And you should keep using the report post icon any time you feel there is a problem. There have been circumstances where guys report posts, and mods disagree that there is no problem, but by far, the quickest way to get anything done is to use that post report icon. There are so many posts here that no mod can keep up on all of them.

Melody

Maybe the issue should be given some thought about reviewing as to whether warning points are to be kept private. Maybe if the member SAW that warning points had been issued and to whom, they might think a second time about what they are ding in their won postings. If nothing else why cannot the persoon offended/attacked be notified that warning points have been issued so that he is not left in the dark.

We have an open forum and yet we close it when it comes to discussing why a warning has been given and to whom or to why a posting/thread has been removed and last but not least why someone has been banned. If anything I would think one would want the members to know what has happened and why - seems to me it goes against the Freedom of Information Act intent.


personal commentary by the local village idiot at his own risk.

 

[gsdx]

And you should keep using the report post icon any time you feel there is a problem.

Thanks, Mel (and TriBi)

I use the 'Report Post Icon', but not when it is for something aimed at me. I leave that up to other people who may find it reportable.

 

[Lube]

I do see the attacks that gsdx talks about.

I do post in those threads, but I generally don't "defend" anyone directly. (That usually just leads to more animosity.) Instead, I try to summarize what's going on and get people to realize what's happening. I hope they'll take a step back. Often, they don't.

It seems like 75%+ of the time, these online fights start because of a misunderstanding. I swear most guys simply don't read what a previous poster has said, and just have a completely knee-jerk reaction--even when directly quoting them!

I do not understand that at all.

It just turns into a pissing contest.

 

[Zeremonie]

I was putting some thought into this issue and I noticed something. Newbies here have a hard time. We are always criticizing them. Especially the younger ones. We criticize everything about them. It's no wonder they get defensive. Maybe what we need to do is be more receptive to them. We choose to express in a certain, they have to right to express themselves too without us judging them.
What we do do is criticize and alienate them without getting to know them. I mean, if we're only nice to a certain group of people JUB would only have like 5 members. Where is the fun in that? They speak or look a certain way, who cares? We can find ways of being nice and communicating with them. If we do that, I can guarantee you that there would hardly be anything to complain about. We are the old ones, they're the ones that are gonna be here LONG after we're gone. I mean none of us OWN JUB, we're just travelling through...

I hope this makes sense....

That was at least a small part of the idea with the Freshmen Forum. It's a safe place for threads for the newbies because it is a no-flame zone, and the Code of Conduct is more rigorously enforced in the No Flame Areas of JUB.

 

[sissyboy]

I, too, have seen a lot of members either leaving or simply not posting, and I would have to admit I am one of those who rarely post any more because of the reasons Neil pointed out as well as others. A week or so ago I dropped in to JUBchat and said "Hello, guys... how are you tonight?" There were seven people in the room, and after several minutes not one of them had the courtesy to even acknowledge that I was in the chatroom. And that is not the first time. Sheep had exactly the same thing happen last week. So I for one will not be returning to chat on this site, even though I used to thoroughly enjoy spending time there. As for the main forums, I am not about to knock the mods because I know they are doing the best they can considering the amount of stuff they have to wade through, but like Neil I do think that some men are allowed to continually deride and malign others without so much as a warning, and the new system of operation for JUB is a frustration I find harder and harder to deal with. I don't mind having to sign in constantly even though I have done the cookie thing, but when I do sign in and participate, I think the newer members could do a bit more than ignore me. That's not arrogance on my part, it simply comes under the heading of common courtesy. I also can't be the only one who has noticed the duplication of recent postings on the front page, which to me indicates that more and more members are simply staying away. Whatever the reason, I hope that JD and Seth understand that this is not whining, but rather an expression of genuine concern from a long time member who still loves this site and wants to see it succeed.

Excellent point. I'm right there with Neil and Flash. I choose when and where I post carefully because more and more I find myself either being put on the defensive by some snarky little boy or ignored completely by the little cliques that exist here.It gets old and I find myself spending less and less time here.

 

[Lube]

I was putting some thought into this issue and I noticed something. Newbies here have a hard time. We are always criticizing them. Especially the younger ones. We criticize everything about them. It's no wonder they get defensive. Maybe what we need to do is be more receptive to them. We choose to express in a certain, they have to right to express themselves too without us judging them.They're here to have fun, not to be criticized or chastised.
What we do do is criticize and alienate them without getting to know them. I mean, if we're only nice to a certain group of people JUB would only have like 5 members. Where is the fun in that? They speak or look a certain way, who cares? We can find ways of being nice and communicating with them. If we do that, I can guarantee you that there would hardly be anything to complain about. We are the old ones, they're the ones that are gonna be here LONG after we're gone. I mean none of us OWN JUB, we're just travelling through...

I hope this makes sense....

Elvin, I'm a relative newbie, as are people like gmoney and T-zero.

When we came on to this board, we didn't start off by attacking other people.

We came on as guests and acted like guests. Got a feel for what things were about. Started participating, with no animosity towards anyone.

We posted more and more and now we're all over 1000 posts. I'm not saying everyone likes me or that I like everyone else. But I've never earned a warning point, and I still feel like my personality shows through.

There's no need to be disrespectful or arrogant. Unless, of course, that is what your real personality is.

 

[Lube]

And T-zero got "promoted" to moderator in what seems like record time.

Can you see some of these new guys being made a moderator?

 

[gmoney]

Thanks for the compliment, Lube. I try my best not to be offensive here, while still expressing my opinion, even if it's a disagreement with another. I've always believed in the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

 

[NameTaken]

Twice in this past while I have been ganged up on and attacked for my opinion.

Firstly, a little name calling is not attacking. And did it ever occur to you that they were just trying to voice THEIR opinions and YOU took it the wrong way? Probably not or you would have realized there is no reason for a thread like this.

As for the "troublemakers" I fear that you feel that anybody who voices an opinion that does not match your own and is not afraid to back down when you confront them about it is a troublemaker.

 

[gsdx]

Firstly, a little name calling is not attacking. And did it ever occur to you that they were just trying to voice THEIR opinions and YOU took it the wrong way? Probably not or you would have realized there is no reason for a thread like this.

As for the "troublemakers" I fear that you feel that anybody who voices an opinion that does not match your own and is not afraid to back down when you confront them about it is a troublemaker.

Yet another thread I must walk away from.

I know you're only 18, but if this is the way you intend to go through life, I do not envy you the trip.

Best of luck to you.