Recent troubling event

[Pickwick]

Hi guys,

It’s been a while since I posted. I hope you’ve had good times during the holidays and I wish you all a wonderful year 2025 !

What I need to talk about happened during New Year’s Eve. Me and my boyfriend went to one of my oldest friends to party and we actually didn’t know who else was going to be there. We arrived around 9pm and there was already about ten other people. Among them was that guy who we had already met in July when we celebrated my friends ex wife’s birthday. They separated few weeks after that and tentions was real that day, and the day after the party. But that’s not the point.
Peter is Philippe (my friend)’s neighbour. He is 32, married and the father of two children. When we met I knew instantly that he was going to be trouble for me. I could see and feel the way he looked at me. And it was as if I could read in his eyes every time. But nothing happened and he was just good company and I didn’t think much about it.
But when we arrived Tuesday evening I crossed his gaze and I knew. He was disturbed to see me. I think he was not expecting to see us.
Everything started on and we had a couple of drinks. Everybody was enjoying themselves and the party was fun. I need to say that there was more than alcohol involved but nothing too crazy.
I can’t remember exactly how because it’s all blurry. But at some point Peter and I just started to talk and I just felt as if I had known him for ever. It was crazy how much he and I were connected. And then he took me to the toilets and kissed me. Twice. Then he started to get scrared and pushed me away, telling me that he couldn’t do this and that I couldn’t excpect anything from him. He said that he didn’t know what to do and asked me what I was waiting for him to do, to which I replied that I was not asking him for anything. But deep down I felt like he could have told me to leave everything behind and go with him and I would have done it in a heartbeat.
Then he just avoided me. I think the others started to notice something was going on. And I just went back to my boyfriend. And the party kept going as if nothing happened.
The next day he fled almost as soon as I woke up. I asked Philippe if he could pass me Peter’s phone number which he did. I just need to talk this through with him because I’m deeply shaken by all this. What troubles me the most is the feeling I had of being with someone I had known before and that I was just at the right place at the right time. I need to understand why he kissed me. But he is not answering my texts and I don’t think he will. I already felt that kind of connection before, and it’s not the first time a “straight guy” kisses me and then act like I’m the problem. I know we were both high and had a bit to drink but I also know it’d be too easy to blame it all on the drugs.
I can’t stop thinking about it. I know I shouldn’t but I want to reach him and talk about it with him. Even though I’m pretty sure he is just going to be in complete denial. I don’t want anything from him but I’m scared that we might meet again and I don’t want it to be weird. I just want to know what was going through his mind.

There thanks for your time.

 

[TX-Beau]

It's kind of odd that you don't seem to be any kind of concerned for the guy to whom you made the promises.

Shouldn't your first step in all of this be ending your relationship and walking away before you make yourself a cheat and a liar and break his heart?

In all of this angsting about "fated love" you seem to have forgotten about common courtesy. You owe the man to whom you committed the truth.

As for the other guy, he sounds like a garden variety closeted "straight" guy who in any case is not going to be with you anyway, if he's that contradicted about his feelings.

Why bother? We all know how that ends.

 

[Pickwick]

I’ve discussed it with my boyfriend. I told him what happened and how I feel about all this. And I don’t intend to lie or cheat. I should have pushed him away. I should have fought not to be entangled in what is a really bad situation. But I can’t undo it now.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yes, you can undo it or at least mitigate it. You walk away from the drama. You be a stand-up guy and keep your word.

In life we make the drama we endure. Rarely is it the case that drama is forced upon us, and you were actively pursuing the guy who was not the guy to whom you owed fidelity. Those cjpoices were yours.

So, either end your relationship and free yourself up to go chase the closet case or walk away from that situation.

It's pretty simple.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you saw a tornado and someone you know was headed toward the tornado, you would say, "Stop. Turn around. Don't head into the tornado!".

Confused straight guys are a tornado. Married confused straight guys are big, ugly tornadoes.

You don't need an explanation as to why someone else did something. You only need to understand your part in it and why you behaved the way that you did. You don't need Peter to tell you about your own behavior.

In the meantime, "Stop. Turn around. Don't head into the tornado!".

 

[72-Jay]

If you saw a tornado and someone you know was headed toward the tornado, you would say, "Stop. Turn around. Don't head into the tornado!".

Yep for an actual that, then I'd promptly grab the camera and go after that thing. No hiding in a basement or some little room. .lol.

As for "straight" (and especially married) guys.... for me that's a no interest/stay away.
If I had a boyfriend, then all other guys & girls are off limits to me. (and I would expect him to do the same)

 

[TX-Beau]

Yep for an actual that, then I'd promptly grab the camera and go after that thing. No hiding in a basement or some little room. .lol.

As for "straight" (and especially married) guys.... for me that's a no interest/stay away.
If I had a boyfriend, then all other guys & girls are off limits to me. (and I would expect him to do the same)

When I was younger, I had this attitude of fuck society, since society had fucked me. I did the closeted guy, the married guy, the cheating guy, the bisexual "men are for fucking, women are for relationships" guy, and everyone else at the bar that was hot. I thought it was some kind of liberating. It wasn't. Eventually I found myself in the backseat of a car with a married guy, parked down the street from his house. Wife and kids at home, while I tried to find a comfortable position from which to pork Daddy.

I had this epiphany, as I jockeyed around stuffed animals and kept kicking the car seat. That wasn't liberating. It was just sad, and it made me a sad kind of person.

 

[frankifab]

Pickwick forget about 32 year old Peter , he is a closet case , he is a waste of time , like others have said such men are like ugly tornadoes , I would say stop playing with fire , dont be like the moth who gets too close to the flame and gets sizzled . Feel lucky you have an understanding BF
When I was reading your story I had mistakenly thought in advance that Pete wanted to create drama between you and your BF by seducing you and telling lies to make you guys call it quits , but that wasn't the case but one never knows other people's true intentions
Pete may have been hot but he is married and he is closeted , please listen to us and stay away from him , block him if possible

 

[72-Jay]

When I was younger, I had this attitude of fuck society, since society had fucked me. I did the closeted guy, the married guy, the cheating guy, t ...

I think that's pretty common for allot of guys? especially younger? Not going to say if its a bad thing or a good thing, it just is how it is. .lol.
I never could now, (I'm old, but even when I was young I didn't feel like that.) I've always had the feeling of I wouldn't want to be cheated on, and I would never want to be part of someone else cheating..
Ofcourse when it comes down to it, I've always been single & am better off that way.

 

[72-Jay]

Pete may have been hot but he is married and he is closeted , please listen to us and stay away from him , block him if possible

I do agree with this.
Nothing good can come out of that that situation.
Think about his wife and kids. If hes out there cheating, when his cheating gets found out (and that is a 'when' not an 'if') it'll tear the family apart. You want no part in that!