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relationship advice

C

cosmoo

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hi guys, I'm having a little bit of a hard situation going on at the moment.

a month and a half ago my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because I irritated him on our trip to spain and it wasn't just something we could work out, that it was just me, as a person... (though, the 5 months before the trip were great, for him as well)
now we're almost two months further and I haven't talked to him since, or haven't heared from him (I'm trying to let go but I'm still thinking about him)

now, what i need advice about!
last week I met this guy, he's sooo gorgeouslooking, wants the same things as me in life... we've met three times and it was very nice! After the first two 'dates', I thought about 'maybe I should kiss him, maybe we should be a couple' but then my ex-boyfriend directly comes popping back in my head. now on the third date I didnt really know what I want anymore, I guess if i had a choice I want my ex back but that's just not an option.. or I could try with this new guy but I really really really dont wanna break his heart cause I'm not over the ex yet.. but then again, maybe it'll be easier for me to get over him when I have someone new

hmm, what do you think?

maybe I should just shoot myself (just kidding)
 
Yeah, skip the gun.

If you're worried about still having issues with your ex, why not stay with the new guy, but take it slow? Let him know you recently ended a relationship, you're still working through things, but you like him (newguy) and would like to continue seeing him. He should understand.

Lex
 
Yeah, stick with the new guy and ask him to be patient.

Imagine your ex with someone else's dick in his mouth...maybe it'll help you get over him.
 
>>>Imagine your ex with someone else's dick in his mouth...maybe it'll help you get over him.

Given the number of guys interested in open relationships and threeways on this site, odds are it'll make him want him more.

Lex
 
The other guys are right. Keep dating. Most of us have been through this at one time or another. Getting back into circulation with others is the best way to get over an unsuccessful relationship. Just keep an open mind and make NO comparisons with the new people in your life and the "ex". There are no comparisons. Everyone is different. The past is over with and the future hasn't happened yet, so stay out of each and start to enjoy your life for what it is right now. Keep your mind clear of the "ex" and that relationship. People tend to avoid others who are "on the rebound" from an unsuccessful relationship because so many of them dwell on it. Let it go. And think good thoughts. They will come back to you tenfold. Good luck!
 
Doesn't sound like you are ready for a full on relationship yet, but if you want to date, then date. Just try to avoid bringing baggage to new relationships.
If the new guy is interested in you for more than sex, simply explain where you are in your life and take it slowly.
You owe that not only to yourself but to the new guy.
Who needs the ghost of an ex in a new relationship?

Are you sure the ex is really an ex and you are not secretly holding out for a reconciliation? If you are sure, then do what you have to do to move on and forget about him.
 
Well firstly it takes time to get over an EX. It is hard, but forget him! I would continue with your new 'bf'. Yes, there will be times when you will think of the ex, it is natural! As time goes and your new friend experience new things and feelings together you ex will go away! As mentioned think good thoughts!

Example: I had a bf for 5.5 years. I was madly in love with him, he was not with me. He dumped me in July 2006. In October of 2006 I met a new guy. We have been great together, but in the beginning when we were intimate, I keep on thinking about the ex! It bothered me. I mentioned it to my new man, we discussed it, and gradually the ex is no longer in my head any more! I have been lucky my mate has been very patient with me and I love him more now that before!
 
Kudos to you for worrying about the feelings of the new guy. You should definitely tell him that you recently broke up and are not over your ex. Let him decide if the two of you continue dating.

By the way, do your best to forget the ex. He appears to be happy with his decision to break up, so you need to respect that and move on.
 
wow guys, thx for the quick replies!

to G-lexington, I'm not interested in threeways or open relationships so that won't make me won't him more :)

to the others (and lexington too, of course), thx for all the advice, I really appreciate it!
I guess I'll tell the new guy I'm not over the old guy yet and than he can decide if he wants to continue to see me.

I dont wanna rush in head over heels, last time I did that I had to break up after a month because of my head being elsewhere.

dont want that to happen again..

thx for the advice

bye!
cosmo
 
time to move on, start fresh and go slow. Talk to new b/f and explain that you want to go slow and but try to move all thoughts of old guy. May not be real easy but if you keep going as you are it will never let you be happy and it will eat alive and every new guy that comes along.
 
clearly since you ex hasnt spoken to you in over two months, hes over you and I suggest you do the same. It may be tough moving on but atleast you found someone else.
 
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