Well I'm in a relationship for ~8 months, and am love with him. He's spoken a lot of his time with sleeping around before we were dating. Prior to this relationship since coming out I've dated one guy for a few months. With my b/f I've tried a 4some (lol) and done another guy on the side (with his ok.) But, lately I've been having a bit of an urge to go out and have a little fun. At the moment it's not strong enough that I'll act on it, or break up...but I dunno. He wants to get married in the spring, and I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I feel like I would want to spend my life with him, but maybe not ready for that now? Do you guys think these feelings will pass, and I will be ok with just having sex with him and the occasional threesome for the rest of my days?
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Relationship Question...
- Thread starter harkins
- Start date
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
If these feelings don't go away, will you be able to not act on them? I'd say better to tell him now.
Lex
Lex
If you're not ready then you're not ready. The feeling may pass with time or it may not. But if he's expressed to you that he wants to marry you in the spring, then it's time for you guys to have a talk. If he's blissfully unaware that you're not sure yet, then you need to sit him down and tell him that you love him, but you're not ready to marry him.
To be honest, 8 months isn't long enough for me, personally, to consider marriage.
To be honest, 8 months isn't long enough for me, personally, to consider marriage.
Sometimes when guys come out a bit later in life (you're 61 now, and this is your second relationship, the first having lasted a few months), it's common to want to play the field and try different guys, sexually. In fact, it's called "being in the candy store" on the street.
There's nothing wrong with that at all. It's actually a phase that's part of the coming out process.
It might be that you two are at different points and have different needs. If might be that you are willing to quell this need of yours for the bigger need of having a relationship with him. Only you can tell what's best for you. Don't be hard on yourself, or necessarily see things in black-and-white here. There are lots of gray-area, just keep communication with your bf open.
Good luck!
There's nothing wrong with that at all. It's actually a phase that's part of the coming out process.
It might be that you two are at different points and have different needs. If might be that you are willing to quell this need of yours for the bigger need of having a relationship with him. Only you can tell what's best for you. Don't be hard on yourself, or necessarily see things in black-and-white here. There are lots of gray-area, just keep communication with your bf open.
Good luck!
Maybe you should suggest that a Spring marriage is too soon? Marriage is usually a tough call, some people can commit right away, others stay together years before getting married. Maybe a little "exploration" break is in order? Rather then an exploration break after you're already married.
bluedragon4
JUB Addict
If you're not ready at 61 than when will you be ready? This obviously isn't the guy for you.
drhladnjak
JUB Addict
"Exploration break" or not, planning to get married after only knowing somebody for 8 months seems a bit premature.
loppyears
Slut
There must be a reason why you want to go out and have "fun". Isn't he satisfying you enough? You should work out what you want especially if marriage is involved.
Thanks for the info...I'm actually 23, no idea why the heck it says 61 lol ;p
Spoke to him about all this, and we had discussed before the problem of me being satisfied (I'm quite sex hungry atm, so it's hard sometimes!) We had planned on doing 3somes, so I'm going to try this with him and see how I feel afterwards. Just going to kind of see how I feel, not going to get married if I'm not into it for sure by the way.
Spoke to him about all this, and we had discussed before the problem of me being satisfied (I'm quite sex hungry atm, so it's hard sometimes!) We had planned on doing 3somes, so I'm going to try this with him and see how I feel afterwards. Just going to kind of see how I feel, not going to get married if I'm not into it for sure by the way.
Well, let's see.
It says 61 because you put 1946 as the year of your birth when you registered here!
To change your profile, please go to My Settings and change your birth date. Thanks.
backpacker
fka "vetteboi"
Just a word of caution, threesomes often lead to problems in the relationship. One person often becomes jealous, so please carefully consider what you are about to do.