you need to focus on positive things. wanting to get revenge on him is not going to help anything, it won't change what he did and I doubt it will change how you feel about it. Some people suck, you just have to move on.
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Revenge
- Thread starter hotatlboi
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Hi justusbrent 
I was in a similar situation with my ex2-boyfriend. We were together for 3 years and he dumped me without giving any explaination... (the explanation was "things just aren't working out").
Soon after I found out what is going on and has been going on behind my back...
At first, I felt like you are, I wanted an explaination, I was mad and sad. I would message him and call him and he'd be all distant and sometimes, he'd avoid me. Then I just wanted a revenge.
Life's got strange ways tho... it turned out the guy he left me for left him so he came back knocking... he was calling me like crazy, explaining how mislead he was, how he's sorry and how I'm the only one he ever loved (he says that till today, almost 4 years after). He even got to some extremes, he'd follow me around and stalk me on my dates etc... he'd stay outside my apartment when I come late from work to talk to me etc.
At first I thought "that's my sweet revenge", but very quickly came to the conclusion that this guy isn't for me... 3 years I loved him like there was no other man... and he just turned his back on me. I knew right then, the very moment he left, that it's over... and from the distance of time now, I realize that it was not worth the struggle... being mad, wanting and explaination, seeking a revenge... That's pointless.
If the guy dumped you it's over, face it, he's not returning your calls or messages, move on! He's not for you and you are not for him. Don't embarrass yourself with call and emails. And do you really need an explaination? I felt like I did but in reality, I didn't. it was just my ego that was driving me mad.
If he dumped you, no matter what explaination he gives you, you are still dumped. It hurts, but it'll pass, what you can do is keep your head high and just move on.
I was in a similar situation with my ex2-boyfriend. We were together for 3 years and he dumped me without giving any explaination... (the explanation was "things just aren't working out").
Soon after I found out what is going on and has been going on behind my back...
At first, I felt like you are, I wanted an explaination, I was mad and sad. I would message him and call him and he'd be all distant and sometimes, he'd avoid me. Then I just wanted a revenge.
Life's got strange ways tho... it turned out the guy he left me for left him so he came back knocking... he was calling me like crazy, explaining how mislead he was, how he's sorry and how I'm the only one he ever loved (he says that till today, almost 4 years after). He even got to some extremes, he'd follow me around and stalk me on my dates etc... he'd stay outside my apartment when I come late from work to talk to me etc.
At first I thought "that's my sweet revenge", but very quickly came to the conclusion that this guy isn't for me... 3 years I loved him like there was no other man... and he just turned his back on me. I knew right then, the very moment he left, that it's over... and from the distance of time now, I realize that it was not worth the struggle... being mad, wanting and explaination, seeking a revenge... That's pointless.
If the guy dumped you it's over, face it, he's not returning your calls or messages, move on! He's not for you and you are not for him. Don't embarrass yourself with call and emails. And do you really need an explaination? I felt like I did but in reality, I didn't. it was just my ego that was driving me mad.
If he dumped you, no matter what explaination he gives you, you are still dumped. It hurts, but it'll pass, what you can do is keep your head high and just move on.
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justusbrent said:
And then what? Would you stop getting that sick feeling in your stomach? Would you no longer feel sad? Would you finally be able to move on?
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
You're stuck in a cycle where you keep bouncing back and forth between anger and depression. You bargain- "If I only threw a glass of red wine on him" or "I'll write him a letter and tell him how I feel". You feel sad then you go right back to anger again. You never get to acceptance.
This isn't about the other guy or your relationship. It's about you feeling loss of control in your former relationship. It's about you holding on to this anger over being taken advantage of by your ex.
If you can't let go of this, then you need to see a counselor and work through your anger issues so that you can get to acceptance and get on with your life.
jetsonboy
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Revenge is an ugly word, and you are not ugly, are you? I know how you must feel, but think about this: what exactly will you get out of committing an act of revenge? A moment of satisfaction? That will pass all too quickly and will still leave you feeling badly. You must focus on finding your own happiness in life with someone who will want to make you happy, and then it will be very easy to forget him. Focus on your life.
OMG revenge is sweet!!
There is not better feeling then getting someone back for hurting you.
I do it quite often, even for little things, it has made me a stronger person and I am not afraid to stick up for myself.
So I say do whatever you can to make his life miserble....
of coarse we dont know what he did so make sure its a just casue, inacting revenge on an innocent person is wrong.
There is not better feeling then getting someone back for hurting you.
I do it quite often, even for little things, it has made me a stronger person and I am not afraid to stick up for myself.
So I say do whatever you can to make his life miserble....
of coarse we dont know what he did so make sure its a just casue, inacting revenge on an innocent person is wrong.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
People often say they're looking for "closure". And quite often, when they say that, they mean, "I want things to end in a way that is satisfactory to me." But a lot of the time, things simply DON'T end in ways that are satisfactory.
You wrote him a letter. Why? Not just to "get it out of your system", apparently, because it's still ongoing. You presumably hoped it would get him talking to you again, possibly in a contrite "I had no idea I hurt you so bad" sort of way. And then you could still be friends, and talk, and he'd treat you with respect, etc etc.
Nope.
You two went out for a while, he obviously didn't care as deeply for you as you did for him, and he finally gave you the "let's still be friends" speech hoping he'd never really have to talk to you again. Not very nice, certainly. But guess what? That's your "closure'. You two are done.
I'm a firm believer in the saying "the best revenge is a life well-lived." Drop the petty I'll-show-you BS. Go live your fucking life. Meet people, get into a better relationship, have fun. If you keep moving forward, you won't be so obsessed about staring back.
Lex
You wrote him a letter. Why? Not just to "get it out of your system", apparently, because it's still ongoing. You presumably hoped it would get him talking to you again, possibly in a contrite "I had no idea I hurt you so bad" sort of way. And then you could still be friends, and talk, and he'd treat you with respect, etc etc.
Nope.
You two went out for a while, he obviously didn't care as deeply for you as you did for him, and he finally gave you the "let's still be friends" speech hoping he'd never really have to talk to you again. Not very nice, certainly. But guess what? That's your "closure'. You two are done.
I'm a firm believer in the saying "the best revenge is a life well-lived." Drop the petty I'll-show-you BS. Go live your fucking life. Meet people, get into a better relationship, have fun. If you keep moving forward, you won't be so obsessed about staring back.
Lex
SoulSearcher
JUB Addict
I went through something very similar. I think you're a good person, perhaps less selfish than your ex, so I can assure you, outing him or hurting him in some way will feel good for a day or two, but because you're a good person inside, you'll be feeling terribly about it later, almost want to apologise to him later. And if he doesn't let you apologise, then it gives you another reason to keep drodding on him. You don't have to forgive him for hurting you, and you don't have to forget, but try to move on. Just know that you can't change people's minds, there are some incredibly shallow people out there, if he wanted you, he'd be with you. Try to love oneself enough to be content alone.