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Scared of Anonymous Sex

H

huggies1f

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Heres a long story short,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, he was my first and only sexual partner. Im relatively young (21) and when we got together i had just turned 19 and was a virgin with zero experience. Slowly throughout our relationship i become more sexual, even going from submissive bottom to a dominant top. But i have only had any time of sexual relation with him.

So now im single, 21 in college, relatively fit, and ready to party. But i cant bring myself to do anything sexual with someone who i am not seeking a relationship with. I can "hook-up" in the club and kiss a guy but im a tad bit shy about anything else.

Ive been trying to use apps like Grindr to get to know guys and hook up with them but when it comes to the meeting part i get scared and either dont respond or think it will be too awkard to walk in, fuck, and douce out. Also im scared that after i cum i will completely lose my sexual drive. Dont get me wrong i WANT to have sex with a guy (older, hairy, young, fit Im not too picky) but i get spooked.

PS Ive even asked my ex about our sex and my fear and he cant see why i am scared. Ive gotten offers but i am shy. I just wanna explore sexually.

Has anyone had any similar experiences or advice? Thanks guys :D
 
That is rough. I wish I had some good advice for you. All I can say is that when you are ready then go for it, don't rush, give it some time. Perhaps you should try to get to know some guys first and then see where it goes.
 
If you aren't comfortable with it, don't do it! Most people in the world do not have anonymous sex, and prefer to get to know someone well before having sex with. There are a host of reasons for this - comfort, familiarity, safety, emotional connection.
 
I feel completely the same and am in similar circumstances. I like to think I'm just a little old fashioned, not that I'm prudish.

I did go to a guys place for a DVD, glass of wine etc and it did end up getting a little heavier than I intended (hands wandered, but that's it).

The thought of casual sex with someone I'm not emotionally attached to freaks me the heck out.

At one point in time, I'd not even have thought about installing Grindr, but that's changing and there is a guy I've been talking to for a while that seems nice and that I might just meet.

That's not to say that you need to change, though. You don't HAVE TO have sex with randoms. There are still old school romantics around that want to wine and dine and get to know you first.
 
I actually think what you said sounds very rational and I am the same way. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have anonymous sex, and it sounds like you had a good sex life with your boyfriend. I would get off Grindr and get out to meet someone special.
 
anonymous sex can be really dangerous. don't be a slut, ok?
 
It sounds like you are just not ready yet. Just go at your own pace.

You may try asking the next offer your get if he would like to meet for lunch, dinner, or drinks so you can get to know him a bit before jumping into bed with him. Just take baby steps basically.
 
A little off subject here but has anyone had trouble with Grindr? I can't seem to save a profile so I don't use it.
 
rimrod said:
anonymous sex can be really dangerous. don't be a slut, ok?
Click to expand...

Lol I don't want to be a slut but I feel kinda self conscious being so inexperienced. And not only that I'm young, I'm free, I want to go "where the wind takes me" so to speak.

It's the perfect time to experiment and do things that wont be necessarily approriate later on in life. And lets face it I am not getting any younger so if I wanted to have a sex life with ppl in their 20's now it the time. Thanks for understanding y'all.
 
I like that idea, but I'm not in any sort of mind set for a relationship, friendship yes but after 2 years of domestic life Ive had my fill for now.
 
You are young, get around meet other guys and just go with the flow, these are the days when you should find out but you really want in life. Dont think too much about the sex thing. Certainly not the age to tie yourself down unless you happen to met Mr Right for you !
 
I didn't read the entire thread so I apologize if I say something that's already been said.

Maybe you should go on silverdaddies.com and chat with a guy until you feel comfortable meeting. That's what I did.

Just make sure you stay safe. Also, read up on HPV and other STD's if you haven't already. I'm not trying to scare you, but take it from me, you do not want HPV.
 
Don't rush it. If you need to ask then you're not really ready and getting to know the person you want to have sex with is not a crazy idea. :)
 
I want to do what I don't want to do….

I don't want to do what I want to do…

Between those two choices, I think the problem is either one or the other.
 
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