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Scared of mutual attraction

CoolguyAT

CoolguyAT

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So I have this friend in town whom I have known since August, from the beginning we were both very attracted to each other and have remained friends since. We are not boyfriend and boyfriend nor are we friends with benefits, just friends right now.

However, I think we both have a desire to maybe be a little bit more than just platonic friends but I think the idea scares him, I will say it scares me a little as well but i'm up for at least trying it. So I guess I just wanted to ask if anyone else has been in this situation before?
 
Try starting with a hello hug and a good bye hug when you get together. Then see how it progresses over the next few get-togethers.
 
Well when see each other sometimes we hug but when we leave it always ends with a hug and a quick kiss. He has several other friends at the bar when I see him and he never hugs or kisses them so I guess that's a start....LOL.

But i'll maybe rub his arms or something to see what he does :)
 
So, what's stopping you from asking him out?
 
Actually i've made it known to him that I have feelings for him and we had a talk about all of it a week before Christmas. We agreed for now to be friends, not rush into a relationship and start slow....the thing is that we are both so attracted to each other but every time I ask him over for dinner or something like that he seems too scared to accept my offer. I know it seems like that maybe he's not interested but I believe that he's just scared of being attracted to me.

I have a couple of theories, one being that his last relationship ended pretty badly and he has hinted at that somewhat. Another theory is that he may have not had much luck with younger guys in the past (i'm 24, he's 50).

Honestly, i'm not looking for a serious relationship either, just a friend who I am attracted to, to hang out with, go to a movie, have dinner, cuddle, talk, and yeah i'll say it have sex with.
 
The title is CRAZY for me to believe. Mutual attraction is what I've been wanting and looking for...and you're scared?

I guess that's how you feel. Make it clear to the other person.
 
CoolguyAT said:
I have a couple of theories, one being that his last relationship ended pretty badly and he has hinted at that somewhat. Another theory is that he may have not had much luck with younger guys in the past (i'm 24, he's 50).

Honestly, i'm not looking for a serious relationship either, just a friend who I am attracted to, to hang out with, go to a movie, have dinner, cuddle, talk, and yeah i'll say it have sex with.
Click to expand...

So, you're hypothesizing on why he seems to be holding back.

And he doesn't know what you're wanting from him.

The solution seems pretty obvious- talk to him.
 
954dude said:
The title is CRAZY for me to believe. Mutual attraction is what I've been wanting and looking for...and you're scared?

I guess that's how you feel. Make it clear to the other person.
Click to expand...

Actually I stated that he's the one who's most scared of it, not so much me.
 
KaraBulut said:
So, you're hypothesizing on why he seems to be holding back.

And he doesn't know what you're wanting from him.

The solution seems pretty obvious- talk to him.
Click to expand...

Yeah I guess so, i'll talk with him about it again soon...when we talked last time we spent most of the time defining the relationship and I did want to ask him some more things, like why he's scared of being attracted to me and holding back, but I felt for one night what we had discussed was enough for then, I didn't want to push him to hard. :)
 
CoolguyAT said:
Yeah I guess so, i'll talk with him about it again soon...when we talked last time we spent most of the time defining the relationship and I did want to ask him some more things, like why he's scared of being attracted to me and holding back, but I felt for one night what we had discussed was enough for then, I didn't want to push him to hard. :)
Click to expand...

Be careful with this.

The point is to ask him how he feels, not to tell him how he feels and then ask "why?".
 
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