Self esteem issues

[silentalk]

Ok, I haven't posted here in a long time and this might be boring to most people but I need some input please.

I'm a very picky person. It's easy for me to like people, but it's not that easy to settle for just anyone as a boyfriend/lover/... I've had a very rough childhood, but I won't talk about that in detail.

I just want to know if anyone out there would start a relationship with people like me.

Let me start by saying that I have a number of very good qualities. I'm fairly handsome. I write, cook, and compose music, and used to work on 3D animation. I've got a degree in Business Administration and graduated with honors. I've never done drugs or drank in my life, but I occasionally smoke, which is something that I'm hoping to get rid of soon. I have very high moral standards. I have high standards overall. But I get along really well will almost all sorts of people. I really am nice, not just claiming to be, which is what I consider to be my best quality. I love to have fun and I laugh easily.

As for love... love has been my main focus in life. My loved one could easily make me happy, as I would do everything I can to make him happy. I'd put them before myself. The key to my happiness is love.

I'm not perfect. I have my flaws.

I was wondering if there was anyone who would accept a boyfriend that comes with some damage. You see, because of the abuse and neglect I went through in my childhood, and some recent tradegies, I find myself sad. I suffer from depression and I have a very low self esteem. When I broke up with the only boyfriend I ever had, it left me in ruins. We're still friends me and my ex, best friends in fact, but I still need someone to love. I expect that falling in love again might bring back the person I was, but I also think that some damage might be irreversable.

So, do you think that there is a person that would take someone with a potentially very bright and happy future as a boyfriend even though this someone has a soul that might be scarred for life?

 

[GamerBear]

I've gone through a rough teen life and so its left my self esteem damaged. I found a boyfriend and my standards were not all that high. But when I stopped looking for love it just came into my life out of no where. I was mostly paying attention to my College studies at the time.

I am definitely sure if you think you had a rough childhood that there will always be a person out there wanting to love you for you and they wouldn't care much if you are damaged from the past.

 

[altlover85]

We all have issues. You don't have to worry about being the only one with them. That said, don't let a boyfriend be your be all and end all. Make sure you have support from other people as well. I know this is easier said than done.

 

[HunterM]

A lot of people are falling into the notion that..."that perfect someone" will make me happy or fulfill me. Don't believe that crap!

YOU have to fulfill yourself. YOU have to make yourself happy. YOU have to complete yourself. YOU have to love yourself first. Then you share YOUR love and interests with others. You cannot share or give what you don't have. You cannot teach what you don't know.

Even in a relationship, you have to take care of yourself FIRST. You have to be healthy FIRST so you could take care of your loved ones. If you don't take care of your health and get sick in bed, then you can't take care of your loved ones, right? It's like the emergency drill on an airplane, adults must put on the oxygen masks FIRST so that they could then help their children put theirs on.

Everyone has problems in life. The key questions are: "What are you going to do about it?" Move on with your life and make it better? Or be a victim of your past and let it dictate your future?

When you are fulfilled, triumph over tragedy, you radiate positive energy & confidence. Now that is very sexy

You will find another boyfriend. Good luck!

 

[Lube]

^Wow, Hunter's advice was exceptionally good.

 

[KaraBulut]

Everyone has baggage. Some people keep their bags in the closet. Others are lugging a bigass steamer trunk with them everywhere they go.

You won't have problems finding a relationship. But perhaps the relationship that you need right now is a relationship with yourself. Time to work on your issues and put some of those issues in your past behind you.

You'll make a better partner if you do.

To continue the metaphor, maybe you need to need to spend sometime downgrading that big suitcase for a more practical carry-on?

 

[silentalk]

thanks guys

 

[Echoes]

Don't expect anybody to be your lifeguard mate. You have to deal with your issues and try to overcome them the best way you can. However, you should expect support and a shoulder to cry on once in a while but that's it.
You should put yourself in the first place, not for selfishness but because happiness, although is shared, starts from yourself. You can't be happy making someone else happy, that's joy, you'll feel cheerful and pleased but if you haven't overcome your own issues it won't last. Relationships are reciprocal, you give I give, we both give and we both get. If we want to be happy together we must be happy with ourselves first.
Regarding your question, well of course there are people willing to be with you and love you back, but bare in mind that partners usually want you to be happy as well.