Serious boyfriend problems

[payit4ward]

I am in a relationship with this guy and he is 50% amazing and 50% intolerable...

first the intolerable part: He is constantly asking me for money for alcohol and other things i won't mention but im sure everyone can figure out what other mood altering things i am making reference to. If i say no he flies into a horrible rage and then after his tantrum is over then he attemts to make me feel guilty for not giving into him. He is 34 and I am 39 and even though im a little older than him he is old enough and should be mature enough to finace his own activities instead of always asking me for money.

now the amazing part: He also has a side to him that is very sweet,affectionate, and considerate and he is also physically beautiful with a smile that just totally causes me to melt.

Anyway i gave him the ultimatum that if he continues his negative behavior that it is most definitely over between us so he had one of his little fits and left my house and i haven't heard from him since he left. (By the way just for everyones information he does not live with me thank god!)

Did i do the right thing or since he also does have good qualities as well should i have tried harder to stay together with him?

 

[hotb0d]

you did the right thing. Love can't cure alcoholism. You did your part and now we just wait and see his reaction.

 

[TX-Beau]

At best that sounds like terminal immaturity, at worst that sounds like a serious substance abuse issue with a Jeckly/Hyde verbal abuse cycle thrown into the mix..

Either way, if this situation is habitual it’s intolerable and you did the right thing.

 

[star-warrior]

Giving in would just be enabling him to destroy himself with the substance abuse. He needs to clean himself up, but only he can make that decision for himself.

As for you,

You'll have to see how it pans out, if he's gone, he's gone. Sad, because you love him for his good qualities, but just from your message above, the size of bad paragraph is bigger than the good paragraph... Maybe the bad has outweighed the good?

 

[Houseboy]

You made the right decision. An addict will always choose his drug over a loved on. I think he will be back and show his charm to get what he ultimately wants..his drug..so move on..u seem to be a great catch..and there are plenty of guys out there for you..

 

[looseliam]

The love of my life is an alcoholic. I left him years ago.

Though difficult, if not impossible, the best thing for YOU is to let him be.

It's toxic for you and most likely won't get better.

You'll always be second-best to the next buz, high.

 

[Orlandude]

You know what? You don't need him. Everyone has some good qualities, even hardened criminals in prison. You deserve better and continuing to participate in his problem is not a relationship. It is simply enabling him to go on as he is and robbing you of, not only your money but your self-esteem. You have a right to be happy and there are many great guys out there for you without that brand of baggage. Move on and don't look back.

 

[payit4ward]

Thank You everyone for confirming that my decision was the right one it hurts but even so it is the best one for me. sometimes i wonder how many broken hearts we can live through before there is nothing left to mend.

 

[G-Lexington]

Hearts can heal, despite what you've heard. You just need the right guy to come along who actually wants to care for it, rather than utilize it as a source for beer money.

Lex