Seriously!? "Thank you"?

[recuerdeme]

Ok so in what world is "thank you" an acceptable response to "I love you?"

Seriously... so I was talking to my bf and was like "I love you" it wasn't the first time we've said these words to each other so I was a little taken a back by a "thank you" response.

Then I start to think, well initially he was telling me "I love you " all the time and he started it all, prematurely at that, and now he says it less... well heck I can't remember the last time he said, by some twist I'm initializing the words now-a-days and he just responds with like wise or you too or some other "acceptable" but kind of blow off-ish term. The last time he uttered the words was while he was drunk at a bar and it was more like a "I love you mannn" type of "I love you".

And in what world is "you're confused" an acceptable response to "I love you?"

Seriously.... like a week ago after some hot sex and right before sleeping I whispered in his ear..."I love you" and he was like "you're confused" and then says he was "joking" uhmm no, not acceptable.

So am I being a drama queen or are all the tall tale signs worth paying attention to... or discussing with him? hmm

 

[CudDULL]

Hmm no you are not being a drama queen.

There is obviously some hesitation in him to say "I love you" back and it seems like he is trying to pull back from your relationship.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well, words are important but so are actions.

Does he treat you well? Do you feel loved?

If he treats you well and makes you feel loved then accept that it might be hard for him to say it and easier to show it.

 

[Seasoned]

Always discuss what's on your mind. Some people don't because they don't want to face the answer.

 

[self inflicted]

Well, man, there seems to be something going on in his head, don't get angry at that just try to get what is going on and walk it with him. I mean, probably there can be many different reasons to make one feel difficult to say "I love you" to someone, oher than not loving you. Don't panic. But well, I don't really know, you know him.

 

[LonelyFace]

Seriously.... like a week ago after some hot sex and right before sleeping I whispered in his ear..."I love you" and he was like "you're confused" and then says he was "joking" uhmm no, not acceptable.

Did you ever read the book "Out of Order" ??? There's a part in that book where the main character is finally about to have sex with his girlfriend, and as they're getting all hot and heavy, he says "I love you" to her. She instantly stops what she's doing and gets pissed off because she thinks he's saying that simply because he's about to get sex. So she responds by breaking up with him and eventually losing her virginity to the school man-whore.

As I read your post, that's what popped into my mind. My point is that perhaps your BF thought maybe you were saying that simply because of the hot sex you just had, as opposed to loving him for more than just that. Just a thought...

As for "thank you" being a response to "I love you," that does seem a bit odd. Perhaps he feels that since the two of you have said it to each other a lot already, that maybe by now he thinks his love for you should go without saying. You should probably discuss it with him. I wouldn't worry so much about it.

 

[KaraBulut]

Oh, and PS- what's the latest on your brother/roommate situation?

 

[recuerdeme]

Well, words are important but so are actions.

Does he treat you well? Do you feel loved?

If he treats you well and makes you feel loved then accept that it might be hard for him to say it and easier to show it.

Well he does treat me well and everything seems great in the relationship but to change from saying "I love you" all the time to barely saying it all... well makes me nervous.

 

[KaraBulut]

Well he does treat me well and everything seems great in the relationship but to change from saying "I love you" all the time to barely saying it all... well makes me nervous.

Well, it's time you told him how you feel. Don't nag. Just ask.

 

[TX-Beau]

Plus, telling someone you love them shouldn't carry an implicit expectation of reciprocity. It's an expression from you to them, not barter.

He told you he loved you a lot supposedly, then it slacked off, if you have no other concrete reason to think he's bailing or cheating, sounds like a pretty natural progression to me.

I don't say "I love you" a lot, and I definitely say it more in the beginning, and It would annoy me if I was with someone who said it constantly like some kind of test and expected me to do likewise every time.

Not saying that's you, just saying be careful what kind of expectations you're weighing the situation down with.

 

[G-Lexington]

Surprised KB didn't trot out this chestnut.

Ask him.
Not us.
Him.

Lex

 

[Jerry]

Plus, telling someone you love them shouldn't carry an implicit expectation of reciprocity. It's an expression from you to them, not barter.

He told you he loved you a lot supposedly, then it slacked off, if you have no other concrete reason to think he's bailing or cheating, sounds like a pretty natural progression to me.

I don't say "I love you" a lot, and I definitely say it more in the beginning, and It would annoy me if I was with someone who said it constantly like some kind of test and expected me to do likewise every time.

Not saying that's you, just saying be careful what kind of expectations you're weighing the situation down with.

I absolutely agree 100%

My boyfriend and I say we love each other, but it's not a constant thing. I personally believe that if you say it all the time like you're saying hello, it loses its meaning.

Kinda like going to the store during Christmas season and hearing every cashier say "happy holidays" to every person within earshot. They could care less, it's just something they're programmed to say. So if my boyfriend and I are saying "I love you" every 30 seconds, the heft of it wears almost as thin over time.

We're apart for a little while so we message each other and stuff right now. The last message he sent me he said he loved me. My reply message just said that I missed him. Of course I love him, but I was just really missing him at the time so that's what I wrote.
I don't think I had to say I love you, the content of my message said that.


I agree though that you need to take this up with him. Not nagging, just an opportunity to be honest with each other. I really hope it works out.




On a side note, I have a very good straight friend who I say "I love you" to (I have a few, but this one relates to the quoted text).
When I first started telling him that I loved him, he would say "thank you". I felt a little put out at first, but then I realized just what TX-Beau said, he doesn't owe me a return. I loved him (like a brother) so I told him. He is a very polite person, so he replied as nicely as he could. I pretty much told him that I was ok with that. I told him why I loved him, and thanked him for being such a good friend. Last Christmas when he came back from vacation with his family early so I wouldn't be alone, he hugged me and told me he loved me. That meant the world to me.

 

[KaraBulut]

Surprised KB didn't trot out this chestnut.

[STRIKE]Ask[/STRIKE] Talk to him.
Not us.
Him.

Fixed.

Infinitely quotable. Infinitely adaptable.

 

[recuerdeme]

I spoke with him and got everything "straigth"

We're good.

 

[texpatriot]

I spoke with him and got everything "straigth"

We're good.

And???

I'm assuming that straigth is code for something.

Read your thread, and honestly I think "I Love You" is tossed around about as much as garbage at the local landfill.

So as a relationship becomes deeper, and more complex, I like to think that those three words are used more sparingly, like seasoning in a dish or a stew.

A: "I Love You!"

B: "Thank You!"

A: "You just got seasoned!"

...or vice versus...