Serving In Silence

[RukkuS]

what would make you happier? being able to be and help yourself or being able to help others?

btw - I work as a civilian on an afb and believe me, you're not the only one struggling with being in the closet and being in the service.

 

[pocono]

I don't have any advice, but wanted to thank you for what you are doing in the service.

 

[springboksfan]

PK, welcome to JUB and thank you for your service.

There are many gay current and former servicemembers among our ranks. I'm sure several of them will chime in here in the thread or, perhaps, will contact you via PM.

Your reason for considering re-enlisting sounds admirable and a job that would be exceedingly helpful to your fellow soldiers and sailors.

I wish I could help or had some sage words of advice. Alas, all I can do is welcome you here and offer my best wishes to you. Good luck.

 

[123kid]

I do understand there is a devotion for your job, but where do you stop? You are 35 years old when do you live for yourself and for the true you?

 

[innocentbychoice]

So now I’m torn between leaving the Army and not being afraid to be myself or follow the growing feeling that I can contribute more to make the lives of wounded soldier as regular as possible.

Is either that or contributing to make your own life as happy and free as possible.

I'd choose this last option.

 

[KaraBulut]

There are lots of ways that you can assist other service members and not be active duty. As you know, there is a large population of injured service members who need assistance.

But before you can do anything, you need to decide on whether you wish to re-up. Are you career Army or did you recently enlist?

 

[Jerry]

I'm interested, and here to help a brother.

PM me if you want. I'll be glad to talk to you in a bit more private setting.

 

[G-Lexington]

Welcome to JUB!

I also think that perhaps things aren't as "either/or" as you may think. Certainly there must be positions outside of active service where you could provide help and assistance to current and former service members. Perhaps you could do some research and see what you can come up with. That way, you'd be able to both do you part, but do it without living the lie.

Best of luck to you!

Lex

 

[operafan]

Your wanting to help others is wonderful. But, at the end of the day, going home to a an empty house is not the way I'd want to end my day. You owe it to yourself to put yourself in an environment where you can possibly find someone with whom to share your life.

 

[theblackajah]

Don't re-enlist. Why serve a country that doesn't want your filthy gay help?

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Go do something else, rather than subject yourself to possibly permanent damage (psychologically, and even more probable, physically).

 

[Just_Believe18]

As much as I admire your urge to re-enlist, I must disagree with doing so. You need to give yourself a chance to live your life and be happy. You can't do that in the military. You mentioned how you've had to hide in secrecy and even though you are a very sociable person, others find you "quiet" because you can't be yourself.

Yes you can do good for others, but ultimately, you need to find the happiness in your life. For yourself.

With a Democratic presidency coming up, perhaps gay U.S. soldiers will get their day (and then you can happily re-enlist). Until then, find the joy in your life. But it's not in Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

 

[tonyboy]

Where to start, well I guess I should start by telling you guys that I’m currently a U. S. service member. Recently I found myself in a dilemma. I just have several months left in my military contract. The thing is that about a month ago I came back to the U.S. from a year long deployment in Afghanistan. After coming back I started having the feeling that I could have done more and now I’ve been considering re-enlisting. If I re-enlist I plan to reclassify and change my job so I can help rehabilitate fellow wounded service members.

On the other hand being in the closet is starting to get to me. By nature I’m an introvert and not very social. Many people have told me that I’m too quiet for my own good. Being in the closet is not making it any easy. I really don’t socialize with the other soldiers in my unit and I don’t have any friends. I usually lie about past non-existent relationships with women along with other excuses and lies to hide my sexual orientation. If I decide to leave the military it will mean that I don’t have to worry about being gay and hopefully make it easier for me to come out to my parents and the rest of my family.

So now I’m torn between leaving the Army and not being afraid to be myself or follow the growing feeling that I can contribute more to make the lives of wounded soldier as regular as possible.

I do welcome any advice from anyone. However, I will like to hear from former gay service members or current gay service members on how they deal with this type of situation. Thank you.

Wow. I don't think I've read anything this powerful here in a long time.
You may be an introvert my friend but your are definetly introspective as well.
You are thinking long and hard about something that you feel very deeply about, you seem torn between your desire to help other servicemen that definetly need to have the kind of help and understanding that you can offer; but you want to help yourself too by finding the sort of life that would work best for you.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your service to the USA my friend. You are a true citizen to your country and are obviously a very fine man. You have served in Afghanistan which is not an easy thing to do. And have done so while being a gay man. You have courage far beyond what most of us have, gay or straight.

I usually write to folks through pms instead of the open forums but I wanted to out and out say how proud I am of you. Being in the military is tough enough but doing so as a gay man is even tougher. It doesn't matter if you come home with medals or not, what you have done is beautiful and you've served a wonderful service to our country. I doubt I will ever meet you but I'd be proud to be your friend. I thank you sincerely for your work and dedication.
I'm going to send you a pm now. I'd rather write what I'm going to say in private.
But I wanted to say publicly on jub that I truly do thank you for your service and the fact that you are considering staying in the service speaks volumes about your character.
Good luck man. God Bless you.