The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Sex advise...

L

LGC1991

Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Posts
6
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Okay, so I don't know if this is the right place to post this. But I'll go ahead...

Okay, so my best friend of 6 years came out to me as gay last year, and I admitted to being bi. About two months ago, I started developing a crush on him and he found out. To my surprise, he likes me too, so we started dating (both our first times). He's going through a rough time with his emotions. He's confused if he really is "in love" with me, but he want to keep working this out until he truly figures out how he feels (I have a feeling he'll end up staying with me. We're so happy when we're together :)).

So anyways, we've been taking it very slowly. But just today, we finally touched each other and saw how we look. It was an intense, but great, moment for both of us. We want to continue taking it slowly; we're not rushing to full out sex for a while.

However, we did talk about what we would do when/if we have sex. We're both not into anal at all, but we love the idea of hand/oral and frottage. However, he has always been terrified of germs and diseased, and he is terrified of my bodily fluids touching him and his bodily fluids touching me. So he is insisting that when the time comes, we use protection. Keep in mind, we are both virgins and have no diseases or anything of the sort. Protection for anal I can understand, but since we're not interested in that, I feel it is totally unnecessary. I feel like I should respect his wishes and concerns, but I think protection for hand, oral, and frot would be a boner kill.

I will love him no matter what. But I don't know how to convince him to trust me or help him get over these fears. I know this is an important issue, but I think he's over exaggerating. Any help? Thanks. :)
 
Well, we've talked about it, but it just doesn't appeal to us. We've always found it to be a turn off in porn, and of course like every guy, we've tried it out on our own and it is a turn off... But that's besides the point of this post...
 
Every couple ought to do more of what you guys are doing--communicating. I think it's great. I sense there's both excitement and tension (in a good way) and it sounds like healthy fun to me.

Now, to the issue at hand. Have a discussion with him. I think there are people who think STDs can spontaneously occur. She what he thinks. There's also the issue of trust. Does he believe you haven't been sexual?

If you live in a community with a gay health center visit it with him to have a discussion with a counselor. Hopefully that would set his mind at ease. If these things don't work use the condoms. As your tongue explores he'll feel the difference and i'll bet will soon be wanting it without. Take care. Good luck. And welcome to JUB.
 
The interesting thing about sex is that, if we really thought too much about it, most people would never have gotten laid. Pretty much every body part involved is pretty nasty and all the juicy fluids involved aren't the most pleasant in appearance or taste.

Yet we end up doing the deed and enjoying it.

While it's good that you're having these talks and it's very good that you're talking about safer sex and condoms, it's also a bit premature to second guess things until you've actually tried them. If- like most people- all these concerns and fears turn out to be unfounded and you both end up enjoying each others bodies, then chalk it up to anxiety about the "gay" issue. If his fear of body fluids continues, then there's a question about whether this is a phobia or an obsessive-compulsive behavior issue.
 
hi LGC1991,

Good to read that both of you are very happy with each other when you spend time together, and that you are currently dating him.

There are no fixed rules about having sex with each other, about what kind of sex you have which each other and even not about about the name of the type of friendship you have right now with him. So no problem at all that both of you have agreed to take the things slowly.

I was wondering what you mean by "we finally touched each other and saw how we look. It was an intense, but great, moment for both of us." Does this means that you were stroking / playing with his hair, his hands, his chest, or his knees (etc)? Or were you kissing him on his cheek? Any idea how he would react when you would kiss him on his cheek or in his neck (or in places like that)? Do you think he would like to do that with you? Or did you stroke his crotch (and he your crotch) while still with clothes on? I tend to think that you might as well try to become bit by bit a bit more intimate with him, but all up to you and him.

You told us as well that "He's going through a rough time with his emotions." This in another reason that it is good and nice that he has you as one of his best friends, and that he will feel safe and relaxed when he spends time together with you. Maybe (?) he will get less stressed about the body fluids (sperm?) when his emotions are calmed down a bit? So he won't get sick when your sperm will touch his hands, and you won't get sick (but you are aware of this) when his sperm will touch your hands. Trust is something which often develops in time, and good friends know from each other how to develop this trust. Definitely, he is over exaggering at this moment.

I underline many of the other posters that there are various way to get more informed.

Good luck and please keep us informed.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top