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Sex drive is extremely low after 5 years of relationship.

S

shaunisaac

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Hello Guys,

Me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for 5 years, sex has always been good but recently it feels like I am not attracted to my boyfriend anymore. Gone were the days when mere thought of him talking his shirt off would give any erection.

Yesterday me and my boyfriend met after 2 weeks because he was out of town, we had dinner and during dinner I could clearly see him erected. I was erected myself with precum but when we got home and started doing it I lost all the excitmemt. The orgasm was not good and forceful. This has been happening for two months now. I dont know what to do? He is still very attractive and we love each other but I want to enjoy sex with him. He does everything perfectly to arouse me but as soon as I see him getting naked my desire goes away. Please help.
 
Sorry to hear of your situation and I genuinely feel for you. I've had my own problems and I know it's really frustrating--on so many levels. Bi'll just offer a couple of suggestions for you to consider.

First, try very hard NOT to confuse your BF as the ultimate cause of the issue. Just because you're experiencing the problem with him it doesn't mean that it's because of him. And as difficult as it may be, you should talk with him as openly as possible and let him know what you're experiencing. After five years, he's got to be on your side. And he's definitely going to want to help you get through this. So, ask him to help!

Second, get a medical checkup immediately. There are soooo many things that can throw off the physical, mental, and emotional connections that all work together for our pleasure. Probably the worst thing you can do is try to figure it out on your own. The anxiety of not knowing is enough to kill the strongest drive.

Also consider talking to a counselor. Lots of things that we assume are just "in the back of our minds" affect every other part of our bodies.

Good luck to both of you.

Ned
 
5 years is a long time to just be "seeing each other". What's up with that? Are there commitment issues? I assume from what you wrote that you don't live together? Are you watching too much porn and it's having a negative affect on your libido?
 
Is the issue only with your boyfriend? Is your libido and sexual interest still the same with the exception of your boyfriend?
 
shaunisaac said:
He does everything perfectly to arouse me but as soon as I see him getting naked my desire goes away. Please help.
Click to expand...

Is it always when you see him naked that your desire goes away? That must mean something. Is it because you know what's about to happen or that you're not attracted to him when he's naked?
 
Obviously arousal is not the issue if you both pop boners over dinner. Are there guilt issues or performance anxiety issues?
 
I think that it has become a bit ho-hum, been there, done it and got the t shirt.
Can you spice it up a little? Go to a cheap motel, maybe some role play... give him a physical or let him give you one.
I think that you get the idea.
 
Maybe you already have your answer but you wish it wasn't the right answer?

...in other words.....could it be you lost your attraction to him because you are just no longer sexually attracted to him?

There are alot of reasons this happens but I won't type the ones I know unless you want me to as this can be a sensitive topic....
 
Thanks Guys, its all settled, i think it was just dry spell and maybe my lack of confidence in myself.

Thanks for all your support
 
shaunisaac said:
Hello Guys,

Me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for 5 years, sex has always been good but recently it feels like I am not attracted to my boyfriend anymore. Gone were the days when mere thought of him talking his shirt off would give any erection.

Yesterday me and my boyfriend met after 2 weeks because he was out of town, we had dinner and during dinner I could clearly see him erected. I was erected myself with precum but when we got home and started doing it I lost all the excitmemt. The orgasm was not good and forceful. This has been happening for two months now. I dont know what to do? He is still very attractive and we love each other but I want to enjoy sex with him. He does everything perfectly to arouse me but as soon as I see him getting naked my desire goes away. Please help.
Click to expand...

Welcome to the reality! This is the destiny of any relationship where sex isn't great. Believe me, good sex makes 50% of the relationship but bad sex ruins 90% of it. So go ahead and discuss with your boyfriend to be in an open relationship. You guys can swing with other couples too or invite other guys for threesome. Just spice it up and get nasty. Otherwise it would lead to cheating, which is okay, but if you're caught that might turn into an ugly breakup.
 
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