Sex Phobia. ? .

[yeahright1991]

I think I have genuinely gotten afraid of sex. I LOVE it. Don't get me wrong. But...

A). Being in a large metropolitan area the rates of STD's are understandably high. (I do my due diligence and get tested every three months - active or not - and have never come up with anything).

B). I keep having nightmares where the condom breaks and I end up with EVERY STD there is.

and most IMPORTANTLY C). I read these stories and see (in live action) and hear ... all mediums about people who's goal is to randomly hook up ERRY-night (mostly within the gay community). - NO Tea. NO Shade....it's your life (even if I think it's nasty.).

D (for) Disclaimer: this is Not to say I have not had flings and stands and all...

Have I lost my mind? I mean...the last time I did anything was almost 2 months ago...and that is rare for me...especially because I've had the opportunity. Is it normal to be afraid of sex? (especially when you are exxxtra careful).

 

[refujiunderground]

you're not alone. i too am afraid of getting an std and that's one of the reasons why i'm hesitant to hook up with someone. going to adam4adam kind of changed my perspective on things. how many of those dudes possibly had something and were willing to give themselves away talking about they're hiv negative? wtf?

 

[yeahright1991]

Yeah, i'm afraid I have an STD now, I can't wait to ease my mind and get tested, everyday I have anxiety, I have had sex with one guy in my whole life, I used a condom, but not with oral, and he ended up being a player so i'm afraid now, I just don't know, i've had panic attacks and I can't afford to get.checked out right now

there are always ways to get tested free of charge. County health centers...clinics...if you look up free std testing I'm sure that you can find a place in your area.

Usually I have a blood lab run by my doctor because I have a prescription that has to be written every month. But if I'm not going in to see my doctor...I go to a free clinic and have it done.

+ With oral...the only way to have contracted something is if you had/have a cut in your mouth at the time where Pre-cum/or an ejaculation happened.

I can't tell you not to be worried...I've had that feeling and it's not my place to tell someone else not to be afraid. However...I am 99% sure that everything will check out in your case. And this is coming from someone who went through a phase of ALOTTTTT of sex (safe of course).

 

[yeahright1991]

Yep. I understand that one...I got rid of every online profile I have ever had... (being truly honest - the exception is the one I have on beautifulpeople.com (but that's just to play to my vanity - and it's not a hookup site)).

 

[G-Lexington]

I guess I just haven't had as much sex. My only hook-up was the first guy I had sex with (and we stuck to oral). All subsequent guys Ihad sex with were people Ihad gotten to know over a period of months (or years), and so I didn't feel worried that they were hiding anything from me. Yeah, they MIgHT have had something and not known, but it was very unlikely.

Lex

 

[refujiunderground]

Yep. I understand that one...I got rid of every online profile I have ever had... (being truly honest - the exception is the one I have on beautifulpeople.com (but that's just to play to my vanity - and it's not a hookup site)).

you actually go to that site?

 

[G-Lexington]

He's not just a visitor, he's also...a member. You know, which none of us could be.

Lex

 

[yeahright1991]

Lord Jesus.... For the record. I didn't know that that would be taken so...seriously. Quite frankly...I don't ever use the site. I was making the point that it was the only online profile I have left. That all the hookup site bullshit had been removed and all. I know nothing of the owner...Nor did I really pay attention to exclusionary requirements. I just literally had it for fun.

AS for G-Lexington. I myself have seen great looking people on this website and made no such claim.

AS for the TOPIC at hand JAYSON - 100$ is not free....your area is really raking people over the coals. I've never heard of an area where not one clinic was completely free (even if there was a distance to travel to get there).

 

[refujiunderground]

I said it was to play up to the vain side of me...and I'm very vain...(I admit that wholly). I don't need an online profile to tell me i'm attractive. I already know that.

+ this is not on topic.

so you're on that site to look at other attractive people i guess? do you save some of the pics of guys you find hot? i've been on that site once out of curosity last year and to see how many people that i was attractive. i didn't last to long on that site because within some hours, i deleted my account. there some cuties on that site but after awhile, i felt stupid for even being there like what is the point of the whole site? i'm still wondering what the point of that site is though? who dates people solely for their looks? it's just a place for people who are narcissistic or have low self esteem to feel good about themselves.

but uhhhh.. as for the thread topic, maybe you should get involved with someone and take it slow.

 

[yeahright1991]

so you're on that site to look at other attractive people i guess? do you save some of the pics of guys you find hot? i've been on that site once out of curosity last year and to see how many people that i was attractive. i didn't last to long on that site because within some hours, i deleted my account. there some cuties on that site but after awhile, i felt stupid for even being there like what is the point of the whole site? i'm still wondering what the point of that site is though? who dates people solely for their looks? it's just a place for people who are narcissistic or have low self esteem to feel good about themselves.


but uhhhh.. as for the thread topic, maybe you should get involved with someone and take it slow.

No...not really. I just set it up for fun...I think I've used it maybe five times. I have a few friends who are also members.

As for getting involved with someone...That's nearly impossible for me...I'm difficult...and I know it....and oblivious to when people try to get involved with me. Like...wayyyyyyyyyyyy ...... yyyy oblivious.

The topic of this thread was really to ask if people in the gay community - which has a known and admitted reputation to sleeping around and "hooking-up" ...actually have become afraid of engaging in sex because so many people seem only invested in the next person in their bed...or ending up in someone elses.

 

[Asenath]

Now, this isn't a completely foolproof method, but have you considered other methods of mutual satisfaction than full-on sex? You still have to take some precautions (especially with oral) but mutual masturbation, oral sex, frottage, penetration with (sanitized, becondomed) toys and the like seem to minimize your risk for catching the big-risk, incurable STDs.

Being hesitant to engage in random sex is a perfectly normal thing. But risk management is possible. And I'm sure there's some guy like you who would go for a round of "What's in my toybox?" if you were to suggest alternatives to full on intercourse.

 

[Benvolio]

Is it possible that your sex drive is not as strong as it could be? One of the functions of testosterone is to make men brave so that they can hunt and defend against wild animals and enemies. A low level will make a man more fearful and could cause your fear of disease stronger than your sex drive. You would know and if in doubt, a test would be a good idea. Please do not feel the need to respond, it is only an idea.

 

[bankside]

Getting tested every three months is a fine idea but it doesn't stop you from getting someone else's STD. And going two months without sex is not a sign of fear, it's totally normal for a single person to go two months without sex. Usually it takes that long just to meet someone and figure out whether they're an okay person or not.

If you used to hook up with randoms you didn't even really know, that's much higher risk than just pacing yourself. Find someone els who you might like to have sex with more than once, and stick with that person, and the risk goes way way down.

 

[yeahright1991]

Is it possible that your sex drive is not as strong as it could be? One of the functions of testosterone is to make men brave so that they can hunt and defend against wild animals and enemies. A low level will make a man more fearful and could cause your fear of disease stronger than your sex drive. You would know and if in doubt, a test would be a good idea. Please do not feel the need to respond, it is only an idea.

Thank you for the idea! I appreciated it.

As far as my sex drive...there are people on this very forum who have seen how strong my sex drive is...(it's outrageously insanely high.) - Albeit under control. I have no doubts about my testosterone level...especially given the fact that I'm only 20.

 

[yeahright1991]

Now, this isn't a completely foolproof method, but have you considered other methods of mutual satisfaction than full-on sex? You still have to take some precautions (especially with oral) but mutual masturbation, oral sex, frottage, penetration with (sanitized, becondomed) toys and the like seem to minimize your risk for catching the big-risk, incurable STDs.

Being hesitant to engage in random sex is a perfectly normal thing. But risk management is possible. And I'm sure there's some guy like you who would go for a round of "What's in my toybox?" if you were to suggest alternatives to full on intercourse.

Oooh! I like that....I do have a fully stocked toybox. I really don't know at this point though....Even though I know not everyone (and hopefully not the majority) of the community are involved in such foolish risk-taking and random sex every night...I'm begining to feel that that's a prevailing mindset. And it makes it hard for me to believe that any actions are safe. Hell...there are times where I've thought about how many people has this guy made out with...200? 300? I've heard people say that they have had 100-200 sexual partners like it's nothing.

(I'm no saint either...I'm somewhere around 30 in the 2 years I've been sexually active...which is an average of over one different person per month).

As for the question of someone I would do it more than once with...I have people I can call and have done it multiple....MULTIPLE times with some of my partners. I just have only been in a committed relationship about 4 times...usually very short bursts.

...I really don't know where I'm going with this...I'm VERY CONFUSED... EPICALLY confused... I'm sorry if i'm not making any sense. However, I appreciate all the advice and those of you who have stayed on topic.

 

[yeahright1991]

[video]http://www.logotv.com/video/episode-27-season-3-1-girl-5-gays/1684067/playlist.jhtml[/video]

This in particular was the tipping point to make me ask these questions I believe. ESPECIALLY the attitude of the bigger/taller guy.

 

[chrisw87]

Having sex with both genders, I do worry about STD's but moreso I worry about getting somebody preggers. I do not want either thanks.

Condoms are great, never had an issue with breakage to actually warrant me worrying about them though.