Sexual Roles

[IFeel4U]

This is a question for anyone who has been in a relationship. I wanted to know if there was anyone out there who had been in a relationship where you and your partner both identified as 'top' or 'bottom'? If so, did the two of you compromise to satisfy each others needs (versatile), engage in alternatives to anal sex, or invite a third party to satisfy both your needs? The reason I ask these questions is because I have often wondered if two people of the same sexual role enter a relationship. Simply because I know some guys out there will walk away if you say you are a top and he is top as well or the same in the case of both being bottoms. I feel like if you are attracted to a person, looking for more than just sex, and the two of you click, sexual role shouldn't matter. It also allows a person more options in looking for a potential boyfriend. I would date a guy if he were a bottom to, but is there anyone else who shares the same view?

 

[G-Lexington]

I only identify myself as a "top" because that's what I prefer. I do bottom when I'm in the mood. But then again, my (admittedly few) relationships weren't immediately sexual. We were friends before we took it to the bedroom. At that point, it would've been silly to walk away were I to find out he utterly refused to bottom. (As it ends up, none of them did.) But I guess if I was a TRUE "top", and I refused point-blank to do anything other than "top anal", then I probably would've checked up on that before pursuing the relationship very far.

Lex

 

[martin6]

I guess I prefer top, but since I'm not opposed to bottoming and he definitely IS... I can deal with it

 

[Alberto_15]

I am truly versatile, I like to top and to bottom. Right now I am with this guy who is cute as a bottom and I truly enjoy spending time with him. I am really excited about where this might go but the truth is I am beginning to get a frustrated because it seems he is a total bottom.

 

[boy0boy]

Hmm I think you pointed out the problem and answer yourself

"I feel like if you are attracted to a person, looking for more than just sex, and the two of you click, sexual role shouldn't matter."

Unfortunately there are plenty of guys just looking for a hookup and then yeah when all you want is sex then you can be as picky as you want. Its like Lex said, well once you actually date a person first, when that finally comes up, it seems silly to end it after all your time and effort.

 

[KennyD]

Well ... IF you are actually looking for a Relationship ; then being a top or bottom should not matter ...
Take note; that not every Gay relationship involves anal sex .....

 

[drhladnjak]

Frankly, it really depends on the individuals involved. Some guys don't like anal sex at all, others can take it or leave it, still others absolutely must have it a certain way. I'd say guys fitting into any of those categories are fairly common though, so it's impossible to generalize.

I've known some bottom/bottom and top/top couples, but there are of course many couples, such details of whose sex lives I know nothing about. All of the above solutions (taking turns being versatile, finding thirds, not doing anal) are also common solutions. Again, what works really depends on the specific individuals involved.

 

[thedaredevil]

Well, I agree with most of the comments but I think we are neither true tops or bottoms because most of the gay people I believe enjoy sex for what sex is. Pure fun and orgasmic!!! I think most of the gay people who say they are ultra top but in reality they are big closeted bottoms and the big bottoms are just lazy... Hahha! Just kidding about the lazy bottom part. Anyways, I think sex is really what you make of it. A simple frottage or an engaging rampage of anal penetration can be both be riveting and enjoyable as long as you are attracted to the person. Right?

Now who wants to have sex???

 

[confusedboy23]

If it was a one-night thing then I DO have a preference for one or the other but if the guy was a little more special then it would all depends.

 

[thewiz]

Ahhh..the old "top and bottom" question.

When I first came out, I was going to be a top. I had had one experience many years ago being a bottom and it was not pleasurable but was memorable in ways that were scorched on my memory bank (pain, hurt, took forever, ha..ha)

When I met Rick, he let me top him and I thought he was a bottom. We talked and he said that he was a versatile top; that he really just wanted me. I guess I figured if he was willing to give me everything, I'd try as well. I also told him about my past experience.

He was so gentle in kissing me all over, massaging my back, rimming me and then using a finger with some spit (then lube) to slowly loosen my hole while I was laying on my stomach. He put a pillow under me and continued as he slowly climbed on my back and put the head against me. I have to admit that as he kissed my neck (and we had music going in the background), I felt the push at first but then thought he had lost his erection until I felt his hip against my butt. He slowly went in and out to the point I was so excited I came while laying against the pillow!

For me, now, it is when I meet a guy who is a total bottom. Sometimes I feel like it is me getting cheated because I want nothing than to feel him inside of me like I get to do to him....

I also have two friends who were both tops and went looking for a third so they could both fuck. Finally one of them decided to "give in" and found it amazing. Sometimes it is just being with the right guy who takes his time and doesn't just ram, bam, and scram!