Sexuality questions

[Gruff01]

Hi. I am unsure what i am. I have never been with a man or woman, shyness mainly. I can get turned on by straight/bi and gay porn. However what i have noticed is in hetero porn i look more at the guy but i still like the thought and fantasize about having sex with a woman just not as much as the man. With bi porn i like the thought of having sex with the woman while switching places with the other man in the threesome. With gay porn i only like certain types and sometimes i feel like it is not my thing. I can't work it out. I tend to fantasise more about men but that could be because i feel less chance of being able to be with one. I do fantasise about having sex with women although i tend to feel more emotionally attached to males (going by crushes, i think they were anyway) but not with females. Even with films and a sex scene between a man and woman comes on i sometimes feel turned on by the woman as she strips and then the man comes along and sometimes i feel the same but others not as much.

What does this mean? I haven't actually been with anyone so would i have to try both to find out?

 

[KaraBulut]

What does this mean? I haven't actually been with anyone so would i have to try both to find out?

Perhaps, although many guys will tell you that when they had sex with another guy the first time, they knew.

Until you have sex with someone, you can't be completely sure.

So, get on with it. Just be safe.

 

[LonelyFace]

Until you have sex with someone, you can't be completely sure.

The problem with that is even though people always say shit like, "oh it's ok to not know who you are yet, you're only 18/19/whatever young age you are, don't worry about it," it's really not a good answer because it doesn't solve the problem.
Sure, saying it's ok to not know right now will make a person feel better for a while and make them think it's ok, but in reality, we still have to go back into the world and face a reality where everyone has a defined orientation. It's like this for society as early as middle school! People seem to have to know who they are and let everyone else know, so people who don't really know what their orientation is are kinda left on their own to figure out how to interact with a society that requires them to make a decision immediately before life can go on.
So while what you say is true, at the same time, nobody really seems to believe in that kind of mentality, regardless of whether they say so or not. Because in order to have sex with someone, it's kinda crucial that you know what you want before you go and do it. After all, straight men don't usually sleep with other men before they realize that they like girls better.

But I think I'm in the same boat as you, Gruff01. If you find out the answer, will you let me know?

 

[spencer]

I think you need to stop speculating and start participating in order to help find out.

 

[pausanias_usa]

The key here is your emotional response, not the sexual one.

Since you mention crushes on guys, I would think you are gay. But even straight guys go through a period of uncertainly (usually at puberty), so maybe you haven't moved on from that yet, as you haven't explored it yet.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

The key here is your emotional response, not the sexual one.

That's not true. A person can be sexually attracted to another person, but not have an emotional attraction. Even if he were only attracted to men on a sexual level, it does not mean that he is purely heterosexual because he does not have a crush on them.

 

[Lube]

Hi. I am unsure what i am. I have never been with a man or woman, shyness mainly.

What does this mean? I haven't actually been with anyone so would i have to try both to find out?

Have sex with whoever turns you on. If you don't want to have sex with them, you're not attracted to them.