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She bruises easily...

  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
  • Start date Start date
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peeonme

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So, lawn mowing season is in full swing already. I received a call from an elderly lady, I had been doing her lawn last year but this year her son (he is around 50) didn't want to sign up again. As it turns out his mom owns the house and her son and his family live there rent free. This elderly home owner asked me to put her on my route so I went there today.

When I arrived she came outside to pay me and was upset, she showed me bruises on both arms and it was obvious that someone had grabbed her by her arms and probably had shaken her. She is 75 years old, 5 feet tall and about 100 lbs. I asked her if she had reported this to the police and she was evasive in her answer. I decided to call and 3 police cars showed up, I went about doing the lawn and the cops finally left. She then told me that there was a police report filed already and thanked me for my concern. I asked her to be sure to tell her doctor, priest (she is devout Catholic) and to call the police if they ever touch her again. What puzzled me was why there had been no arrests made.

Before I left her son pulled up and sat in his car in the driveway, he was waiting for me to leave. That wasn't going to happen until I had a "talk" with him. I asked him what the hell was wrong with him. He informed me that he didn't do it, it was his wife acting in "self defense" that had put the bruises on his mother. So, I asked... you stood there and watched as your wife did this? He replied that I didn't know what his mother was like and she was just "skin and bone" and bruises easily. I chewed his ass out and told him that I would be seeing him again if his mother is hurt anymore.

Now, the rest of the story. These are college educated people from eastern Europe. The mom is a concert pianist, the son plays the violin. They live in a nice home and you would never in a million years begin to think that something of this nature would happen in their family. What is wrong with people?
 
Maybe, just maybe, the son is right and she does bruise easily and is becoming demented and confused.
Or maybe the wife is a brute
You can never tell what goes on behind closed doors
 
peeonme said:
These are college educated people from eastern Europe. The mom is a concert pianist, the son plays the violin. They live in a nice home and you would never in a million years begin to think that something of this nature would happen in their family. What is wrong with people?
Click to expand...
Exactly: what is wrong with people? Never in a million years begin to think that being college-educated, a concert pianist, playing the violin and living in a nice home would allow that something of this nature would happen in a family: what sort of people do you think support fascism, mutant rednecks from Wrong Turn backwoods?
 
I'm sorry but I just can't picture someone from Europe who plays the violin to be a party to elder abuse. It just doesn't happen.
 
Peloso said:
I'm sorry but I just can't picture someone from Europe who plays the violin to be a party to elder abuse. It just doesn't happen.
Click to expand...
Why, because WWII ended all that forever and ever, or maybe just because they all emigrated to the USA?
Education and breeding is a coating, and origins and nationality a mere accident.

It's like saying that European (or Asian, for that matter) people do not like to watch gory American "action" thespic efforts.
 
We have preconceived notions that domestic abuse is the domain of the poor and uneducated. There are millions of middle-classed or even elite who can tell us otherwise.

As for being a musician or virtuoso, that in no way precludes having a violent or explosive temper, or being a brute.

And, it is indeed possible that the woman is episodic and acting out behind closed doors, but at her age, the benefit of the doubt goes to her. You're in for a penny, so go in for a pound. The police owe you an explanation as a citizen. You may not be entitled to know her medical information, but they should have to show cause why they did not find the abuse report credible. DID the family have some documentation of the dementia? If not, you should go up the chain in the police to get it addressed.

Elder abuse is so underreported. There is shame and fear and intimidation. You did the right thing. Thank you, Chuck.
 
I'm surprised the son didn't fire you or forbid you from being on the property. Sounds like he may not have full power of attorney.

Hopefully there will be no retribution from his wife.
 
belamyi said:
Why, because WWII ended all that forever and ever, or maybe just because they all emigrated to the USA?
Education and breeding is a coating, and origins and nationality a mere accident.

It's like saying that European (or Asian, for that matter) people do not like to watch gory American "action" thespic efforts.
Click to expand...
Sarcasmo you homo.
 
rareboy said:
I'm surprised the son didn't fire you or forbid you from being on the property. Sounds like he may not have full power of attorney.
Click to expand...
Maybe it's because they are not Texan or Floridian, but "from Europe".
I found it somewhat surprising, you never know... but he may just try to avoid a conflict that might kick his bunch out of the house.

In any case, this thread seems good soil for fertilizing wild and opposite assumptions: "they could not be terrible people", "they must be doing terrible things to her"...
"Europeanness" out of Europe, even out of its own European 'culturoma', accounts better for culture clashes than for a metaphysical guarantee of decency.
 
rareboy said:
I'm surprised the son didn't fire you or forbid you from being on the property. Sounds like he may not have full power of attorney.

Hopefully there will be no retribution from his wife.
Click to expand...
Actually, mom has power over the rest of the family. She owns the home and pays the bills. What I suspect is that she has an emasculated son and an impatient daughter-in-law that are weary of waiting for dear old mom to shuffle off of the mortal coil.
The son told me that I didn't know what she was like, well, I kind of do know what his mom is like. She is wealthy (moderately) and rules the family. Her son is lazy and never amassed any fortune of his own. He is pushed around by both his mom and his wife. Poor man!

As I told him, if you don't like the way your mom is, then get the hell out and never abuse her again. But, alas, sonny boy has no job and no money. If I am fired it is a $40.00 per week account, small loss. I made damned sure that this was documented (the cops took pictures) so any further "easy bruises" can be told apart from the old bruises.
 
peeonme said:
Actually, mom has power over the rest of the family. She owns the home and pays the bills. What I suspect is that she has an emasculated son and an impatient daughter-in-law that are weary of waiting for dear old mom to shuffle off of the mortal coil.
The son told me that I didn't know what she was like, well, I kind of do know what his mom is like. She is wealthy (moderately) and rules the family. Her son is lazy and never amassed any fortune of his own. He is pushed around by both his mom and his wife. Poor man!
Click to expand...
So it truly seems to be what it read like in the OP...

 
peeonme said:
Actually, mom has power over the rest of the family. She owns the home and pays the bills. What I suspect is that she has an emasculated son and an impatient daughter-in-law that are weary of waiting for dear old mom to shuffle off of the mortal coil.
The son told me that I didn't know what she was like, well, I kind of do know what his mom is like. She is wealthy (moderately) and rules the family. Her son is lazy and never amassed any fortune of his own. He is pushed around by both his mom and his wife. Poor man!

As I told him, if you don't like the way your mom is, then get the hell out and never abuse her again. But, alas, sonny boy has no job and no money. If I am fired it is a $40.00 per week account, small loss. I made damned sure that this was documented (the cops took pictures) so any further "easy bruises" can be told apart from the old bruises.
Click to expand...
She raised him....

But she sure as hell had better toss them out and cut them off...because her days are surely numbered.

They will murder her. And get away with it.

It happens every day with the elderly in this type of situation.

The wife is probably already looking for how to not leave telltale bruising.
 
This is all hearsay - gossip. Is this good for your business? I have doubts.

You called in the police, and they are obligated to report it to social services, and social services will have to follow up. Your work is done.

Judges don't take kindly to abuse of elderly.
 
His witnessing of bruises is not hearsay.

His conclusions are his, and we don't know the hidden truths.

But, there is no reason to believe the reporting officers erred on the side of caution. In a day and age in which you often have to report "shots fired" just to get police to respond promptly, they can also do the minimum and go without adequate referrals.

Of course, it's Chuck's call on whether he shut butt in further, so we're all justa gossipping, as you say.
 
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